Chris Krovatin

"This would be an awesome album to end a career on—not that this reporter wants it to be the last Slayer album."

Surprising observation: There are very few hipsters here tonight. Overall, the crowd is a very metal crowd.

She’s the lady of your dreams. But she will not. Stop. Listening. To that fucking Shania Twain song.

You know the band sucks. Everyone has told you that they suck, and that this album sucks harder than any of its predecessors. But look at that cover!

Sometimes, on the subway, I one-by-one size up everyone else in my car, from the heavily tattooed bodybuilder to the tired-looking grandmother with her grocery cart.

For metalheads, summer means one thing above all—festival season. To keep some festival-goers from losing their cool or getting their Cradle of Filth thong panties in a bunch, here’s my Final Six list of the Six Summer Festival Do’s and Don’ts.

I drive a black ’98 Honda Accord, and people, that motherfucker is a piece of heaven.

As I mentioned in my first Final Six, when I started working here in September of ’08, being a writer/editor for Revolver has always been a dream job of mine.

Heard the new Meatball Grinder record? Fuckin’ blows, dude.

You ever heard of a mantis shrimp? Dude.