As the Revolver Photo Director and proud owner of a vagina, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the female body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Girls are also welcome to fire off some questions; I’m sure the guys reading my blog would love to hear what’s on your mind as well. Email me at RevolvHer@gmail.com.
Dear RevolvHer,
I hate to admit it, but I have a serious phobia of being on top during sex! I’ve never done it like that because it scares the living crap out of me to think that I might not be good enough for my man. I’ve talked to other people about this and they say that a dude will enjoy it no matter what when a girl’s on top, but I just don’t know how to move! I’m also worried about how I look. It scares me to the point of tears almost, but I know I need to do it eventually. I’d appreciate any and all tips, tricks, and whatever else. Thank u!
From Top to Tears
Hey TTT,
I am gonna tackle this question about as hard as you are gonna tackle your man’s lap when I get done with you, baby. Basically, you are going to have to join me in this fun game of “acting as if” that I keep talking about. You will have to act as if you are confident being on top even though it makes you want to cry when you think about it. Once you get going you will be fine.
I can relate to how fearful you feel about riding your man’s pole while being exposed in all your sexed-up nudity. In addition to that normal insecurity, you also face the dreaded phobia of having to perform during sex. When you are steering the sex ship in the top position, you might be worrying about whether or not you are going fast enough, slow enough, and where to put your hands and legs. So here is the deal with topping, as I know it to be true. Men love to look at you when you are soaring above them with your breasts in their face and your ass in their hands. They love to know that you are in control of your own orgasm, and that you are using their bodies to get yourself there. You need to be thinking about how beautiful you look and how magical the sensation is for your man beneath you to be gripping your hips and feeling your body on top of him. You can ask him if he likes the pace you are going at, and try to gauge his reaction to your different positioning by his expressions—most men will let you know what they dig. Fumbling around is all part of the fun during sex, so just laugh off any awkwardness when you are shifting around and getting into your groove. Hopefully your man is good at making you feel safe and comfortable with a sex position that is new for you.
The biggest tip of all that I can give you, TTT, is to ignore those demon fear voices in your head that are telling you that your body looks bad or that you don’t know how to move. Those voices will ruin the moment for all parties involved. When you bring your focus to the negative it brings your man’s attention to the negative. He sees you the way he wants to see you, not the way you see yourself. Let him enjoy you in all your orgasmic glory. Just let go and enjoy the ride!
xxx
RevolvHer
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