Today, after I filed my taxes, a bird peed on me. That’s twice I was pissed on in less than 24 hours. As I shuffled items from one pocket to the other to balance out my much lighter wallet, I pulled out my iPod and made a mini-playlist of the best tax songs metal and hardcore had to offer. So as you mail off your W2s, do it with a middle finger in the air and your headphones cranked loud.
D.R.I.: “Give My Taxes Back,” Dealing With It (1985)
Texan thrash-hardcore crossovers Dirty Rotten Imbeciles (this is metalcore), nailed it in ’85 with this song from the same album that gave us the phrase, “Reaganomics Are Killing Me!”
Sample lyric: “At least give me a chance to say what I want/The more you waste, the more you want.”
Kid Dynamite: “Death and Taxes,” Shorter, Faster, Louder (2000)
Like most of us, this Philly post-hardcore group is only sure of the two things in the song title. Jason Shevchuk sees it all as a bigger problem, though, starting with the idea of work…
Sample lyric: “Spending our years pinned as slave, tired and under-paid/While no one ever knows what life’s about/Work to survive until we’re 65/and then it’s time to die.”
The Exploited: “Don’t Pay the Poll Tax,” The Massacre (1990)
UK punk revivalists the Exploited’s 1990 LP wasn’t their best effort (at that time punk was dead, at least, judging from the thrashy hardcore element on the album). Regardless, they made an impassioned statement against a 1989 local-government-funding tax implemented by then-Prime Minister (and early focus of Iron Maiden’s disdain) Margaret Thatcher.
Sample lyric: “Politicians go here/Maggie Thatcher flying there/All the unemployment cuts/That’s paying for their fares.”
Aus-Rotten: “Tax Shelter,” The Rotten Agenda (2001)
Hardly anyone hates paying taxes more than panhandling, dreadlocked peace-punks like Pittsburgh’s Aus-Rotten, who outdo themselves turning vacant buildings where people could squat into tax shelters.
Sample lyrics: “The trouble with ruling class financial tactics/Is that it’s the people who need shelter not their taxes.”
Phobia: “Taxes at Work,” Means of Existence (1998)
What takes the cake, however, out of all of these tunes is O.C. grindcorps Phobia’s “Taxes at Work.” Sure, vocalist Shane Mclachlan is probably saying words. And they’re probably astutely poetic. But on tax day, nothing feels better than to just hear (and sing along with), “BbbuuuwwwaaaaaaaaaaacaahhhhhHH!!!!!!”
Piss
I still want to know who peed on you before the bird did. Please don't leave us hanging in suspense.
The government.
The government.
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