EXECUTIVE EDITOR BRANDON GEIST: A SAINT PATRICK’S DAY LIST—METAL DRINKING SONGS

Maybe second only to Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day has to be the holiday that most metalheads would pick to celebrate all year round. Because really, what does celebrating Paddy’s Day entail besides getting shitfaced drunk? In lieu of getting hammered myself (drinking during the workday is generally frowned upon, even in the Revolver office), I’ve cobbled together this hard-boozing list. The original plan was to painstakingly select the, say, five greatest metal drinking songs ever recorded, complete with clever little write-ups and sample lyrics; then I started researching (i.e. googling “metal drinking songs”) and realized just how many brewtal tracks there are out there on the subject of the mighty alcohol, and I thought how much easier it would be, and therefore how much quicker I could get to the bar (and tonight’s Today Is the Day show in NYC) if I just slapped all of those together into a more “comprehensive” list. So crack open a cold one (not you, kids), clank out a toast to Ireland, and crank up a few of the following tunes.

AC/DC: “Have a Drink on Me,” “Whiskey on the Rocks”
Addicted: “Alcoholic Depravity”
Alestorm: “Nancy the Tavern Wench,” “Wenches & Mead”
Anthrax: “Fueled,” “Toast to the Extras,” “Now It’s Dark”
Black Flag: “Six Pack,” “T.V. Party”
Black Label Society: “Born to Booze,” “Stoned and Drunk”
Blood Duster: “Drink, Fight, Fuck”
Brutal Insanity: “Alcoholic Demise”
Carnivore: “Jack Daniels and Pizza”
Charged GBH: “Alcohol,” “Moonshine”
Children Of Bodom: “Somebody Put Something In My Drink” (Ramones cover), “Trashed, Lost and Strungout,” “Blooddrunk”
Clutch: “Drink to the Dead”
Cycle Sluts From Hell: “I Wish You Were a Beer”
Dead Kennedys: “Too Drunk to Fuck”
Expulser: “Alcoholic Vomit”
Fear: “More Beer,” “Have a Beer with Fear,” “I Believe I’ll Have Another Beer,” “Drink Some Beer,” “Beerfight,” “Free Beer”
Finntroll: “Kitteldags,” “Trollhammaren”
Goat Horn: “Alcoholic Faith”
Guns N’ Roses: “Nightrain”
HELLYEAH: “Alcohaulin’ Ass”
Korpiklaani: “Wooden Pints,” “Beer Beer,” “Happy Little Boozer”
Lamb of God: “11th Hour”
Lawnmower Deth: “Drunk in Charge of an Ugly Face,” “Anyone for Tinnies,” “Betty Ford’s Clinic,” “Sheep Dip,” “Did You Spill My Pint?”
Metallica: “Whiskey in a Jar” (Thin Lizzy cover)
Motörhead: “Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers” (ZZ Top cover)
Municipal Waste: “Drunk as Shit,” “Mind Eraser,” “The Art of Partying,” “Born to Party,” “The Inebriator,” “Beer Pressure”
Nocturnal Breed: “Alchoholic Rites”
Orange Goblin: “Stinkin O’ Gin”
Saint Vitus: “Thirsty and Miserable” (Black Flag cover)
Sarcófago: “Sex, Drinks, and Metal,” “Alcoholic Coma”
Sexthrash: “Alcoholic Mosh”
Superjoint Ritual: “The Alcoholik”
Skyclad: “Another Drinking Song”
Tangorodrim: “Alcoholic Desecration”

And finally, just about every song by German party-thrashers Tankard, the self-professed “Kings of Beer” and the founders/likely only practicioners of the “alcoholic metal” subgenre. Albums include 2004’s Beast of Bourbon and 2006’s The Beauty and the Beer. Bottoms up.