GUEST BLOG: JOB FOR A COWBOY’S JONNY DAVY

Well, this year in a sense has been a complete mind-fuck. The entire year is a giant blur. My liver at this point is punching my insides, telling me to slow down and drink some fucking water.


Mmm, beer.

A few months ago we managed to survive a winter tour with Skeletonwitch and the Red Chord. I think as a collective group we all barely scraped away from death a handful of times on that tour. It felt like our vans were all driving through a giant snow globe and some asshole was shaking it continuously.


Totally stuck, total bummer.

Afterward, we flew over to Japan for the first time to support Arch Enemy. I’m not going to tell you about how the shows went or how different the world seems over there…I’m going to tell you about the first time I went to the bathroom. I walked into our hotel room the night before our first show to do my business. I sat down, and to my amazement the toilet was heated! Rays of heat radiated off the damned thing. My ass felt like a smore over an open fire. The next step was to find the flusher…Honestly I was really fucking confused about where it was, because the sides of toilets in Japan have this damned control panel of a dozen things written in Japanese with buttons and even a tiny menu screen (yes, I’m still talking about the toilet). So...while still sitting down I pressed one of the buttons and to my confusion, all I heard was some mechanical noise coming from the inside of the toilet. Seconds later, my ass was shot with a scorching-hot blast of water. It was a button for an internal bidet, and the asshole who had the room before us had turned the heat on full blast. I got up and told Charn, our drummer, the amazing news. He proceeded to sit on the toilet and try this new work of machinery for himself. We were blown away and gave each other high-fives after the ordeal.


One of the crazy Japanese toilet remotes.

Ravi (guitar) attempting to soak up Japanese culture.

So now we’re back in a full U.S. run on Gigantour. We’ve only been on tour for a few days so not much has happened yet…except…we found Ravi’s twin brother, watching us one day in the crowd. To make things even weirder, he seems to be a fan of ours considering the shirt he’s wearing. The resemblance is so uncanny it felt like we were in an alternate reality or some kind of time warp.

I am as shocked as you are.