GUEST BLOG: LANDMINE MARATHON’S GRACE PERRY

This Friday I leave for Show Awesome Death Party 2008 in Pomona! The end of the world will begin on July 26 at approximately 6 P.M. when At the Gates take to the stage to summon something like eight demons from the lowest pit of Hell. The same pit that JonBenet Ramsey and Left Eye from TLC hang out in. It's a good pit. My and many of my peers' pants will be soiled that night. My body will be filled with as much flavored vodka as my flask can carry and hopefully I will leave with at least a black eye. (To post pictures of on this blog, of course…I really have no shame.) At the Gates will also be hosting the finals for this season of American Gladiators. Cat's out of the bag, guys! I root for Wolf. Aroooo! Dream episode: Satan versus Wolf in the Eliminator. Or the Aggro-Crag. Whichever.

For those who are unaware, the Aggro-Crag is a mountain climb made more difficult with simulated lightning storms, rock avalanches, flying glitter, and confetti (a.k.a. “nuclear flying crystals”), and steep walls. Knowing I will never have a piece of the Aggro-Crag haunts me to this day.

Next week Landmine Marathon will be returning to the surface of the earth to play alongside the stellar death-grind band Origin. I hear Origin hails from Kansas, where they eat small children. Ever since my injuries last week I've been trying to stay indoors. Everyone keeps asking me if I'm a cutter. NO, I'm not a fucking cutter; I just love glow sticks way too much!!!

Between having my veins ripped out by At the Gates and playing with a band that could rip a 5-year-old in two…next week should be sweet.

XOXOXOXOXO
Grace

P.S. Everyone who is going to ComicCon this year can eat a fist full of dildos.