GUEST BLOG: SKELETONWITCH’S SCOTT “SCUNTY D” HEDRICK

Cheers and beers motherfuckers! Hope everyone out there is well!! I recently realized that my last blog was placed between pieces written by journalists extraordinaire J. Bennett and Kory Grow. I suppose I better apologize to them. The careful positioning of my turd-like ranting, placed between their credible, journalistic bread, most likely created a digital shit-sandwich for the readers! Haha! Sorry, dudes (and readers)! Anyways…time to squeeze out another one.

For this installment, I've decided to compile a list of the top three green rooms on this tour (with Job for a Cowboy and the Red Chord). For those unaware, a “green room” is basically the backstage area provided for the bands and crew to hang out. Most nights it will contain beer and food, and, on this tour at least, four members of the Red Chord using their Nintendo DS stylus to draw pictures of Mario and Luigi with giant boners.

Without further ado, here are my top three green rooms thus far:

1. The Bricktown Ballroom, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

The genius who constructed this wonderful green room decided it was not necessary to extend the walls all the way to the ceiling, even though the room is directly next to the stage. The ultra-sound-resistant plywood must have been quite expensive, resulting in an unfinished room—a classic “last mile dilemma” scenario. When you play here, do not plan on having any conversation or listening to any music besides the bludgeoning force propelling from the PA speakers.

To be honest, I also choose this room because of the odd hospitality. The spread of food provided was a fat third-grader’s wet dream. Among the items present were: Oresos, Chips Ahoy, Snickers, Milky Ways, oatmeal cream pies, nutty bars, Swiss cake rolls, Fruit Roll-Ups, Gushers, Capri Sun, Mountain Dew, potato chips, seven pizzas, and a three-pack of Dentyne Ice gum. Fucking outrageous!!

2. Nutty's North, Sioux Falls, South Dakota

This bathroom-turned-into-a-makeshift-green room was interesting, to say the least. I am by no means a germaphobe, but I'm guessing it’s probably not a good idea to have a cooler full of beer stationed a few feet from a toilet that's getting some serious use. The pubes were also a nice touch!

It should also be noted that in this green room, our drummer, Mullet Chad, got so hammered with Job for a Cowboy that he vomited in the toilet. Just hearing said vomiting actually caused JFAC singer Jonny to throw up himself! Good times…good times!

3. The Domino Room, Bend, Oregon

Who says size doesn't matter? In addition to your typical green room, we had access to the gigantic roller-derby arena/movie theater! After being cooped up in our filth den on wheels, this was great! Some of the dudes from the Red Chord played a game of football while fulltime Red Chord singer and part-time bodybuilder Guy Kozowyk ran some of the JFAC dudes through his fitness gauntlet. We drank beer.

Unfortunately I do not have any pictures of these amazing green rooms. I know…I fucking suck. But I do have a few pictures of some random road shenanigans. Enjoy!

Also, a special thanks goes out to everyone working at any of the venues we played. Promoting and putting on a show is an always difficult, sometimes shitty, and often thankless job!! We truly appreciate everyone's work!! Besides…those were actually our pubes in that bathroom anyway!



Skeletonwitch in a green room that didn't make the cut!


Scunty partying with some metal maniacs in Lemoyne, Pennsylvania



Not sure what the fuck Mullet Chad and I are doing.