As the Revolver Photo Director and proud owner of a vagina, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the female body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Girls are also welcome to fire off some questions; I’m sure the guys reading my blog would love to hear what’s on your mind as well. Email me at revolvher@gmail.com
Dear RevolvHer,
I’m a 25-year-old metal chick. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He’s never been terribly sexual, but I accepted that from the beginning as part of the package because I fell in love with him as a person. He is a good guy and takes good care of me. Basically, it is a good month if we have sex once, and always on his terms. He has gone down on me a handful of times over the last 4 years. I used to think it was because he wasn’t attracted to me, as I have been with some guys before this guy who have worshipped my body. I have expressed my issues to my boyfriend and he makes me feel like a total pervert for wanting more sex. He doesn’t seem concerned that I may look outside the relationship. Recently, I met a guy at a metal show when I was out with my girls, and he is so fucking hot. We flirt like crazy over text messages and sometimes emails. He makes me feel so sexy. He talks about the things he wants to do to my body and how much he wants to please me. He described in detail how he would devour my pussy, and that is what I crave the most. I know that just talking to him about this stuff is already cheating in a way. My question for you is, is it OK to cheat on my boyfriend to get my sexual needs met as long as he doesn’t find out? I don’t want to leave him because he is a good man that fulfills my emotional needs (most of the time), but he just doesn’t make me feel sexy and wanted. I need some lovin’!
Help me,
Tortured Soul
Dear Tortured Soul,
First off, I appreciate the drama of your signature! You must be aching for a release and so RevolvHer is here to give you permission to get your groove on, but not without first explaining why and how you are in this situation. You love a guy who isn’t meeting all your needs, and the needs he isn’t meeting are pretty big time. Not getting laid regularly and properly when you’re only 25 years old is just a sin. You should be getting fucked and orally pleasured daily, girlfriend! But I know, you love him and you want him to be doing the fucking. Trouble is, you can’t change a man. But while I have learned that you can’t change a person by forcing your will upon him/her, people can, in fact, change, but he/she has to want to change. In the meantime, you have to accept him for who he is and allow for him to have his own path. If your man is not into sex even to save your relationship, well, then either you accept that part of him FOR REAL, or you move on to a man that can rock your entire world, body and soul. After four years of waiting around for your good guy to start liking pussy, you are finally getting your needs for sexual validation and attention met by this new hottie from the metal show. It is usually a good sign that there is something missing in a relationship when you start seeking attention from another person. I don’t think you really needed a sign; you seem to be well aware of what is missing in your relationship—a tongue on your pussy. I would never advocate cheating on your boyfriend, as that will only create chaos and confusion and prolong the drama for you. But, if you do decide to cheat, it will be totally understandable and I would never stand in judgment of a horny young lady in a bad relationship doing whatever it takes to get out. The right, much harder, and more character-building thing to do in this scenario is to end the relationship before acting out. This problem isn’t going to go away, and you should get out while you can, while you are not married and there are no children who will be affected by your actions. At 25 years old, you shouldn’t be settling for a life that doesn’t involve hot passionate rip-roaring sex! The next time you email me, I just hope you can sign off of as Totally Slammed.
xxx
RevolvHer
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