LOVE AND SEX ADVICE FROM REVOLVER’S HOTTEST SEX ADVICE BLOGGER (WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT)

As a proud owner of a vagina, and daughter of a gynecologist, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the human body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Email me at RevolvHer@gmail.com and follow me at @revolvher666.

My girl and I are gonna have sex pretty soon. But, she's got braces. Is it safe if she gives me head? Revolver rocks by the way.

Alonzo

Dear Alonzo,
This is a magnificent question, mainly because it has nothing to do with anal sex. I am happy to hear that you and your lady are going to have sex soon, but I am even happier to hear that you are going to start with some good ol’ fashioned blow jobs. I have no idea how old you are or how experienced you are, but I always think it is best to stall on the sex for a bit and go slow. It’s good for a couple to spend time exploring each other’s bodies before embarking on intercourse. When you eventually do the deed, I hope you do so with a rubber or some method of birth control. So, now that I am done with my birth control mantra, I will tackle your problem.

Your girl has a mouth full of metal, but you still want her to “put it in her mouth.” It’s quite simple, she just needs to cover her teeth with her lips when she goes down. If she can do this, you are golden. If not, you might be in a world of pain. Actually, all the girls reading this blog should take note and cover their teeth with their lips when giving head, braces or no braces! Teeth and cocks don’t mix. If you feel that you’re girl just isn’t catching on, and her wires are still grazing your schlong, you should have her email me for further BJ instructions.

I should also serve my female sexpert duty and instruct you to reciprocate her blowjob by going down on her. One good turn deserves another. If you happen to also have a mouth full of metal, try to keep your teeth out of the equation and read this instructional I wrote about a year ago, it might come in handy.

Next week I will be posting my sort of annual “Hottest Men in Metal” list in response to Revolver’s “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue. If anyone wants to nominate a sexy rocker…feel free to send me some suggestions.

XXX
RevolvHER