Dethklok frontman Nathan Explosion’s Mayhem Fest Survival Tips

Dethklok’s Nathan Explosion graces the cover of the new issue of Revolver, which is on newsstands now and available online here, taking the form of a gargantuan, God-like bringer of the apocalypse. Or rather the Metalocalypse. His band delivers their one and only performance this year at Mayhem Fest’s kickoff show on July 9 in San Bernardino, California. In celebration of both events, Explosion was kind enough to put together this list of Mayhem Fest Survival Tips—mostly because, as he says, “our Dethklok manager Charles asked me to write this because he thought it would help my ‘I hate the fans’ image, even though I think it’s totally cool to hate your fans. I mean, I don’t want to start pandering like Lady Gaga…”

1. Do not wear deodorant
“That’s for fancy Wall Street pussies. This is a metal show. You should smell bad. And if you smell bad enough then the crowd will separate when you walk through so you can get beers easier.”

2. Bring extra shoes
“Shoes have a strange way of flying off your feet when you get knocked on your ass in the mosh pit. You don’t want to walk home in broken glass with no shoes, right? Wait. Scratch that. It’s way cooler to walk in broken glass with no shoes. Don’t bring any shoes.”

3. Don’t let your epileptic seizure ruin anyone’s good time
“If you’re going to have an epileptic seizure because of the flashing lights, loud music, etc., please excuse yourself and have it privately in the bushes. It tends to bum people out. And Disturbed need you happy so you can buy their merch.”

4. Be nice to the ladies
“There are only four of them here. You’ll blow your chances if you act like a dick wad, and the odds are stacked against you as it is.”

5. The sun is hot
“Here’s a great way to cool down: Take off your shirt and coat yourself in butter. I’m telling you here. It’s a really good idea.”

6. Vomiting
“To protect our environment, please vomit in trashcans and not the recycling bins. Unless you’ve eaten recyclable things like plastic or broken glass—then go ahead and honk into the recycling bins.

“Hope this helps. Enjoy the Mayhem Festival, and do please go die.”

Check out “Bloodlines” off Dethalbum II below:

 

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  • Xwideout

    I am a 41 year old lady, and I say, fuck all the rules, cuz at Mayhem there aren’t any! Your there to get blown away with sex, drugs, and some kick ass ROCK!  Just for that day, I am 16 again!! FUCK IT!!!!!

  • Xwideout

    I am a 41 year old lady, and I say, fuck all the rules, cuz at Mayhem there aren’t any! Your there to get blown away with sex, drugs, and some kick ass ROCK!  Just for that day, I am 16 again!! FUCK IT!!!!!

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  • METALheadDICO

    dethklok and disturbed rules m/

  • Francis

    Okay Is Nice To Be Back My Metal Music Alright Hey This Is Francis I Know Pretty Fun Also Might Guess Something Are Right You How Soon Met Only Had My Seconds At The Whiles It Was Until Same Million For Nothing Had Took By Ourselves i’m Under Forgot Alright See You Good Luck But Anyway

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