1)  John Russo’s Midnight
“I’ve loved this film since I saw it in the mid ’80s and, in fact, it was released a few years earlier in 1982. If the name John Russo sounds familiar, he and George Romero were writing partners on the screenplay for Night of the Living Dead, and his personal directorial effort Midnight to me is well worth watching. Satanic and evil backwoods cops hunting hitchhiking runaway chick! The dark-sided authority figures, amongst my all-time favorite big-screen villains, as you’ll learn, are brought to life here for a reportedly modest five-figure sum of a budget, so the cash saved on cinematography is made up for by brutal ritualistic murders, a great creepy atmosphere, and the make-up effects of Tom Savini. These elements melted together make for an entertaining view into the psychosis of devil-worshiping pigs with mommy issues.”

2) Maniac Cop
“The brainiac behind the original wonderfully sleazy scalp fest that is Maniac, his majesty William Lustig, once again delves deep into pre-Mickey Mouse 1980s gritty NYC fire and ire to bring us back down…waaay down, underground and under arrest with a search warrant for DEATH! Catchy huh? Anyway, another of my faves for one of the most evil and tortuous monsters of all time: The NYPD. Disfigured and out to kill, this outcast of society and the anti-hero of the slogan ‘to protect and serve’ does his best to terrorize and neglect. Apparently possessing other worldly powers, this cop is on a supernatural city-wide house wrecking high. Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead alumni) is here wrongly accused and mayhem ensues. The tagline says it all for this great Horror B-movie: ‘You Have the Right to Remain Silent…Forever!’

“I kind of prefer Maniac Cop 2 and I have not seen the remakes or other sequels, so for the sake of the timeline this jewel holds a spot at No. 2.”

3)  The Cars that Ate Paris, A.K.A. The Cars that Eat People (title for U.S. release)
“I saw this Aussie produced flick at a matinee as a kid and the spiked and armored vicious Volkswagon from the movie sat out in front of the theater all week as a promotional device and I chewed my nails and stared at that bug with anticipation every day I passed down Main St. It’s technically a horror film, but as the genre winds around and through itself, it’s got elements of mystery, dark unintentional(?) comedy, and just plain strangeness… I always have been fascinated by the plot, which is essentially a town of eccentrics in the business of purposely staging and causing car wrecks in and around their small community of Paris to ultimately sell off the leftovers for a valuable profit, all the while surgically experimenting on any survivors in a most peculiar way. Long-winded yet disturbing, plus cool human slaying automobiles make this a cheapo cinematic treasure.

4) Blood Sucking Freaks
“I’m sure you’ve all heard of this cult classic, right? Exploitation in it’s finest form: tons of naked females, most of them slaughtered/tortured/dismembered in some bizarre fashion, a wild ass-dart shooting midget…err, sorry, little person, professional creep Dr. Sardu, below no-budget special effects, and some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen in my life…and that’s all the good things! The shitty yet atmospheric organ keyboard soundtrack will hypnotize your mind and deaden your soul, and I mean deaden as in numb to the point of needing to walk around the block a few times. As a teenager, I recorded the entire movie on audio cassette and we would drive around smoking and drinking in some psychodrama of just being pummeled by B.S.F’s retarded comical violent nonsense. Brain-drilling, straw-sucking out said drilled brain, amputations, thumb screws, crushed skulls, chainsaws, guillotines all in the name of a Grand Guignol live stage performance, which of course leaves the viewer wondering: Are these girls actual actors or are they unwilling victims kidnapped into this wild scene just for some sicko’s fantasies.”

5)  I Drink Your Blood
“LSD, sex, rabid satanic hippies, kids with syringes, and as the title says, plenty o’ blood drinking/splattering/dripping/oozing. As a youth, I remember the ad for this one in my city’s paper for the midnight showing at our local drive-in, but I was a too young to check it out at that age. That never stopped me from obsessing about it and now having watched it numerous times, I can confess to how brilliant this zero-budget flick certainly was and is. Usually paired with the 1960s walking dead cheapo I Eat Your Skin, a really bad movie renamed for the sole reason of going on double duty with I Drink Your Blood. These tarnished reels are an exploration in bad acting and even worse editing. A true economical gory genius with dialog that will, by itself, have you scratching your head more than just once.”

The Shining
“Watching and feeling the transition of one losing his mind with the great intent of harm in a secluded setting of an empty hotel. Something about this film makes it my favorite. A very intriguing film. It still gives me chills when I think of the hallways.”

Portal
“Everything about this band is true horror. There is no match for Portal. One listen and you not only hear, but feel the horror.”

Dawn of the Dead
“My first film where I saw guts getting ripped out. First gore flick for me really, but it has that nostalgic feel to it as well. Made me feel uncomfortable, so I’d say it did the trick.”

Rosemary’s Baby
“The main reason this film grabbed my attention was its true source of evil that is maintained in everyday social circles. Much of the film’s content is still alive today, in my opinion, and advancing. It gives you that alone feeling and it captured a deceptive secret society.”

The Exorcist
“Timeless for both the movie and the soundtrack.”

Since having been transported from the medieval ages to modern times by a vengeful wizard, Executioner has been a busy behemoth, becoming Southern California’s only fully licensed assassin for hire. And now he has a new show on Rug Burn–the second episode of the series airs tomorrow. Having a passion for heavy metal music as well as murdering people, Executioner sat down with us to discuss how he likes to combine both into one.

1. Do the metal “devil’s salute” with your fingers and ram it through someone’s eyes.

2. When a crowd is moshing, roll a huge boulder off the stage and flatten everyone.

3. Stick someone’s face in Zakk Wylde’s beard, wait as the parasites in it eat away your victim’s flesh.

4. Chop someone’s head off and then headbang with it.

5. Trick a stage diver to jump off a cliff.

6. Force Motörhead’s Mikkey Dee to play the drum solo from “Sacrifice” on someone’s head to induce “jelly skull.”

7. Skin someone alive and use their skin to make an awesome leather jacket.

8. Bite the head off a bat, spit it at someone, and when they’re busy wiping their face, bite their head off, too.

9. Grab a guitar and jam the riff from Mastodon’s “Blood and Thunder”, remove the strings, wrap them around someone’s throat and garrote them (see below).

10. Play someone High on Fire’s new album and blow their fucking mind. Awesome album.

1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)
Though not a by-the-book retelling of the Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole’s alleged serial-killing spree, this is my favorite film of all time, regardless of genre. This low-budget nightmare is rude, abrasive, funny, and frightening as all get out from the first frame on. The home invasion scene was shocking 27 years ago and still packs a wallop today. Breakthrough role for The Walking Dead’s Michael Rooker.

2. Boys Don’t Cry (1999)
This female-to-male transsexual rape and murder documentation will destroy your senses. The retelling of the murder of Tina Brandon (A.K.A. Brandon Teena) by men insecure in their own sexuality is brutal and will leave an impact on your psyche that will last a lifetime. Hillary Swank won her first Oscar for her performance and was directed by Kimberly Peirce, director of the upcoming (and not anticipated by me) remake of Carrie.

3. Deranged: The Confessions of a Necrophile (1974)
Another gritty, low-budget shocker that is based on the murderous life of Wisconsin farmer Ed Gein. Now, I love The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho, but despite their claims of being inspired by the Gein case, this is the one that actually comes closest to telling the actual story of an old man who only killed two people, but did make dead skin masks and nipple belts from his victims (and some corpses he dug up from their graves). Early special effects by Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead, Friday the 13^th). Written and directed by Alan Ormsby, who also starred in the first horror film I ever saw, Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things.

4. Targets (1968)
Wow, what a weird film directed by Peter Bogdanovich. As a young filmmaker, he was given the opportunity by legendary low-budget filmmaker Roger Corman to take unused stock footage from the terrible film The Terror and also incorporate horror legend Boris Karloff into a film. He decided to set the film at a drive-in theater, replete with Karloff horror film on the drive-in screen, and place a sniper in the midst of the complex. Very loosely based on the Charles Whitman/University of Texas (my alma mater) tower shootings of 1966 that occurred only two years prior.

5. Badlands (1973)
Terrence Malick turned true crime into art with this depiction based on the 1958 murder spree of Charles Starkweather and 15-year-old Caril Ann Fugate. Of course, it certainly helped to have Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek (Carrie) in the starring roles.

Runners-up: The Honeymoon Killers, Ed Gein, In Cold Blood, Wolf Creek, Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door, Zodiac, Cannibal, Men behind the Sun, The Town That Dreaded Sundown

Chris Krovatin is the author of three young adult novels,

In Paradise Lost, a 17^th century poet tells the story of Satan’s fall from Heaven and the fall of man, which Satan causes using his powers of influence and temptation. The epic poem is controversial for its portrayal of the Devil as a human and sympathetic figure, whose banishment from God’s domain is caused by the very prevalent emotion of pride, painted therein as the greatest sin of all. Four years after he published Paradise Lost, Milton put out Paradise Regained, which deals with the temptation of Jesus Christ. What’s interesting is that while most people know some line or fact about Paradise Lost (“Farewell, happy fields/Where joy forever dwells: hail, horrors, hail”), very few know much about Paradise Regained. Why? Because as a whole, Satan is a more interesting character than Christ. His reasons for his actions are like our own—nuanced, rarely clear. Jesus does what he does because he’s good. That’s not the world I live in.

Villains are awesome. Their costumes, weapons, and powers are often far more interesting than those of the heroes against whom they fight, and their motives are generally far more interesting than those of the heroes. But not all villains are created equal. For every fascinating and powerful villainous character, there are two or three who feel like whiny little assholes derping around for no real reason. And being metal means being strong, driven, purposeful in your darkness. So for all those hand-wringers and doomsday-bringers out there, I bring this, my Six Most and Least Metal Villains.

The Six Most Metal Villains:

1) Sauron
J.R.R. Tolkien’s personification of all evil and hatred lives up to his role—from his spiked helmet to his giant burning eye to his supernatural hold on anyone who dares interact with him. He’s like Satan, only less of a metaphor and more of a big scary-ass guy with a sword

2) Darth Vader
In space, the archetype of the Black Knight has taken a terrifying new form. This cyborg monstrosity is an expert sword-fighter, fighter-pilot, and magic wielder, serving the very essence of darkness and despair after destroying his only chance at peace in a fit of rage. No one calls him “Annie” anymore.

3) Count Dracula
God among vampires, Bram Stoker’s undead overlord is the ultimate representation of night’s infernal power. Add that he’s a shape-shifting blood-drinking unholy lothario, and you’ve got a fascinating figure whose bested everyone from Harker to Belmont.

4) Venom
Spider-Man’s dark doppelganger, Venom is how everyone really imagines evil—cold, black, bitter, and rocking a gaping maw of razor-sharp teeth. That he is a psychotic madman wearing an alien costume that feeds on hatred is just an added bonus.

5) Agent Smith
What makes Agent Smith so terrifying and incredible as a villain is his underlying emotion. On the one hand, he’s all logic, a being made of binary code and unarguable purpose. On the other, he’s deeply emotional—he hates this place. This, friends, is the ordered face of pure evil.

6) Lady Macbeth
Resourceful, brutal, and insane—Lady Macbeth is the ultimate femme fatale. While Shakespeare likely created her as a sexist scapegoat, her cunning and readiness to get her hands dirty would likely scare the shit out of guys like Shredder and Mumm-Ra. You think you could take her? Have fun dying slow, pal.

Honorable mention: Skeletor. The dude looks like a jacked-up Grim Reaper and rocks what is known as a “Havoc Staff.” That’s real, son.

The Six Least Metal Villains:

1) Adolf Hitler
OK, so this guy nearly conquered the world with his campaign of racism and megalomania. It doesn’t change the fact that the dude was a fidgety little house painter with one testicle who thought he was saving the world with his xenophobic bullshit. Fuck this guy, over and over.

2) Professor Moriarity
While one of the great villains of literature, Moriarity is kind of lame overall. Consider it for a second—he’s a math teacher who’s basically a bad clone of his nemesis, a British detective he can’t even kill without falling off a damn waterfall. Not even interesting in his dastardliness.

3) Gargamel
Bad enough Gargamel is a hunched old man who lives alone with his cat…but he’s the Smurfs’ villain. Let’s say that again: the fucking Smurfs’ villain. The dude has dedicated himself to a life of destroying tiny blue mushroom people? And he still hasn’t done it? Truly one of God’s dumbasses.

4) Iago
The antagonist of Shakespeare’s Othello, Iago is the type of villain even villains hate: He’s a gossipy little bitch. We all know a guy like this, who uses misinformation and posturing to get whatever his petty little heart desires (your girlfriend, for instance). This insidious cretin deserves a swift kick to, well, everywhere, really.

5) The Penguin
Of Batman’s nemeses, the Penguin is one of the few not confined to Arkham Asylum when caught. Why? Because only interesting people are insane. What we have here is a roly-poly little Monopoly man with lame weapons and a bad gimmick (birds? Fucking birds?!).

6) Oogie Boogie
Sorry, but I gotta throw down here. Oogie Boogie may be a living burlap sack filled with bugs, which I guess is sort of scary, but the Cab Calloway routine immediately erases that. It’s a bad sign when you’re a villain and the hero, his friends, his girlfriend, and your henchmen are all scarier than you.

Jonathan Vigil, lead singer of Los Angeles-based The Ghost Inside, is a major hockey fanatic. Check out his Top 5 Moments in NHL History below!

The based band released their full-length record, Get What You Give, in mid-2012 via Epitaph. For more about The Ghost Inside, check out their Facebook page.

05. The First Winter Classic Game
The winter classic is a regular-season hockey game played outdoors. It’s pretty exciting for players and fans alike because it brings you back to the roots of ice hockey. Building a rink in a baseball stadium, packing it out and watching hockey how it was meant to be played out in the open with the elements.

04. Ron Hextall Scores a Goal
Ron Hextall was the first goalie to shoot and score a goal in the NHL. Even with an open net, it’s extremely difficult to accurately shoot a puck across the entire rink while the other team is still on the ice. The whole building went nuts when he scored.

03. Miracle on Manchester
Not being born yet when this happened but being a Los Angeles Kings fan I gotta put this at No. 3. The LA Kings were down 5-0 in a playoff game against the Edmonton Oilers, and they came back in the third period to tie it and eventually win the game in overtime. This took place at the Great Western Forum, which is on Manchester Avenue in Inglewood, California, literally a five-minute drive from my house.

02. Bobby Orr’s Cup-Winning Goal
Probably the most famous hockey moment/picture ever. I wasn’t alive when this happened either, but Bobby Orr won the cup for the Boston Bruins in overtime in 1970. He was tripped when he scored but celebrated the win in the air. Such a sick picture.

01. 2012 Los Angeles Kings Stanley Cup Champions
It’s no surprise to anyone that I’m a huge LA Kings fan. Not only was this the first Stanley Cup for the Kings since they became a team in 1967, but I was fortunate enough to be inside the building when they won it. With all my touring and their schedule, it’s a miracle on its own that I was home and able to get tickets to the playoff games. It’s an experience I will never forgot, and one I can always look back on and say, “I was there …”

“It’s a hard question to answer: What exactly makes a cartoon ‘metal’? Is it the violence, the attitude, the ‘over the topness’ of it all? Or just the characters having a definite ‘metal’ point of view on life? All we know is that, to us, somehow these cartoons satisfy that same part of the brain that a savage Slayer riff does.”

1. Executioner
“This is the most metal cartoon ever. Mostly because we created it. Comedian Brian Posehn voices a medieval executioner who finds himself suddenly living in modern day Southern California and has to survive doing the only thing he knows: killing people. The theme song by Morgue Supplier makes it that much more metal! This’ll make you want to kill people (but in a fun way). Catch it on Rug Burn, starting April 16!”

2. Beavis & Butthead
“We think this is the second most metal show ever, mostly because we’re writers on the show. And because Mike Judge kicks ass.”

3. Metalocalypse
“No. 3 because our friends at Titmouse make the show–the same studio that animates Executioner. Hilarious and completely fucking metal.

4. Tex Avery cartoons
“No. 4 because that’s the number of joints we smoke while watching these. Old school over-the-top madness by the wildest cartoon director ever. A few standout classics include ‘Bad Luck Blackie,’ ‘Deputy Droopy,’ and ‘Little Rural Riding Hood.’”

5. Itchy & Scratchy
“No. 5 because that’s the average number of laughs in a Simpsons episode these days–all of them coming when you can catch the ultra-violent craziness of this show-within-the-show.”

6. South Park
“6, 6, 6, the number of the Beast, because episodes like ‘Woodland Critter Christmas’ and ‘Major Boobage’ are so metal you need to throw up the devil-horns salute while watching them.”

7. The hallucination sequence in the movie Beavis & Butthead Do America
“Beavis has the coolest, funniest trip-out scene ever, with music and character designs by Rob Zombie and animated by Chris Prynoski (owner of Titmouse Studios, who make Executioner).”

8. Paths Of Hate
“Unlike the rest of these, this one isn’t funny–it’s just a completely badass short about two fighter pilots that just fucking hate each other…so goddamn much.”

9. Celebrity Deathmatch
“Asshole celebrities beating each other to death for our amusement. How much more metal can you get?”

10. Korgoth of Barbaria
“Google it. Enjoy it.”

“I’ve been a huge hard-rock/heavy-metal fan for most of my life and never get tired of going to see my favorite bands over and over again,” Gass says. “Over the years, I think it becomes obvious to a lot of us that part of the fun of going to see certain bands is the entertainment that you’ll get out of it in between songs when the singer of the band starts to talk. Whether it’s David Lee Roth’s insane arrogance or Dave Mustaine’s bizarre politics, there are some shows you can’t wait to see for the real moments in between.

“I love sharing these stories with my comedian buddies and hearing the stories they like to add, but here are my Top Five Funniest Hard-Rock Concert Moments. Keep in mind, most of these were unintentionally funny…”

5) PANTERA
“I’ve seen Pantera easily about 20 times. They’re one of the most powerful bands of all time, but Phil Anselmo adds a tone of comedy to every show. He’s always angry about something, and he always says it with limited words.

“Pantera was on Ozzfest 2000, and I saw a couple of those shows, including one at the venue outside of Boston that was then known as The Tweeter Center. In between songs, AND I’M QUOTING, Phil Anselmo actually said, very slowly, ‘HEY…. Motherfuckers…. Check it out…. You go home tonight…. And you tell your friends who fuckin’ missed out on Ozzfest….. You tell them… HEY…… ….. …. You fuckin’… You missed out….. (At this point, you could see that Phil realized that he had repeated himself, and added)….. And you’re stupid.’ And then he hocked up some saliva and spit on the ground.

“Keep in mind, I was in the 18teenth row for this show, and I saw SEVENTEEN ROWS of people in front of me turning to each other and smiling, as if to say, ‘That was fucking HILARIOUS.’

4)  MÖTLEY CRÜE
“Vince Neil is a mess. Even when I saw Mötley opening the Bark at the Moon tour for Ozzy back in 1984, I noticed that Vince didn’t seem to remember all the lyrics to Mötley’s songs. Add to that, the occasional show where he’s completely hammered, and you’ve got a funnier show than ANYTHING going on at The Comedy Store that night.

“This was at The Key Club in 2005, I wanna say, and Vince was HAMMERED. A show that was highlighted with Vince falling off the stage (here’s the fucked up thing… We weren’t even looking at the stage during the incident, and we HEARD Vince fall) and this amazing on stage moment:

“Vince had taken a long time in between songs to grab another drink, came back out and said, ‘OK, everybody, how about we do a little bit of LIVEWIRE FOR YOU RIGHT N–WHAT (his guitar player was whispering in his ear)? Oh, we already played that? OK…. What else have we got?’

“I love that guy.”

3) DOKKEN
“In 2002, there was a tour of ’80s bands featuring Dokken, Warrant, Ratt, and a few others. I know that it’s a cooler move to dismiss these bands than it is to give them any credit, and if you’re one of those people, you really are an idiot, because you miss out on moments like the one I witnessed at The Celebrity Theater in Phoenix.

“Warrant was onstage performing, and in the middle of their set, a dude came climbing on to the stage and walked right into the middle of the band while they were playing. Was it a drunk audience member? No. It was Don Dokkem, who grabbed one of the microphones and started yelling at the band for going over their allotted time! He actually lectured Warrant onstage, and demanded that they ‘Play some “Cherry Pie” and get the fuck off the stage,’ threw the microphone in the air, and stormed off the stage.

“Mike Fasano, the drummer for Warrant at the time, grabbed the microphone when it landed and said, ‘How about a hand for the amazing Don Dokken, everybody’ to the boos of the audience.

“You always hear about bands not getting along on tour, but how often to you get to buy a ticket to watch it happen live?”

2) KISS
“OK, this one I have to admit is intentionally funny by the band, and me makes me immediately respect Paul Stanley.

“The band was on a really long tour with Ted Nugent and Skid Row, and the guys in Skid Row did a thing every night that the audience was never aware of, where they would dare Paul Stanley to incorporate some really silly word or stupid phrase into his onstage banter.

“In Raleigh, North Carolina, they tell Paul, ‘You need to somehow incorporate the words, “Diaper Fight” into your onstage banter tonight.’

“Nobody in the crowd in Raleigh was aware of this, obviously. All I know is that I’m watching KISS perform, and about three or four songs in, the crowd is going nuts, and I’m not sure that I’m hearing it right, but I think I just heard Paul Stanley say, ‘All right people, settle down, settle down…. Let’s not get all worked up here and turn this into a Diaper Fight…’

“WTF?

“I found out the story behind it later, and thought, That’s just cool.”

1) Without question: LOUDNESS
“Opening the Theater of Pain tour for Mötley, I saw this show at The TCC in Tucson and at The Compton Terrace outside of Phoenix. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard the singer of a Japanese heavy-metal band yell out, ‘ARE YOU LEDDY TO LOCK N LOLL, MUDDA FUCKAS?’ followed by waves and waves of laughter from drunk teenagers.”

To celebrate his new Metal Camp, Appice put together his list of the top six heavy-metal drumming songs of all time:

1. “When The Levee Breaks, ” Led Zeppelin
“I always loved the sleazy, heavy drum groove together with the bluesy harp. Just a really cool song with great production.”

2. “We Rock,” Dio
“When I used to go see my brother play that song–and when I heard it on the album–I was blown away. The tempo was great. Ronnie’s voice, the solo, great arrangement–kickass metal!”

3. “Bark at the Moon,” Ozzy Osbourne
“When I played the song live with Ozzy and was involved with the mix, I loved this song. Great hook idea, and the very visual lyrics by Daisley are awesome. Great bass and guitar, and Ozzy sang the crap out of it. Lots of energy in that one.”

4. “Valley of the Kings,” Blue Murder
“John Sykes is a great songwriter. When I heard the demo of this song, I immediately loved it. I used to listen to the demo just for fun. Then after we actually recorded it, the sound that Bob Rock and Mike Fraser got was amazing. Then I liked it even more!”

5. “In the Still of the Night,” Whitesnake
“A great song again with Sykes as a writer. Real cool arrangement, and very ’70s in approach–except very heavy. I still turn the radio up when it comes on!”

6. “Highway To Hell,” AC/DC
“I always liked the simplicity of that song. And the chorus is infectious. The whole band just sounds so great together, with each instrument jelling perfectly to create this amazing heavy groove. Great production as well.”

For more information about Carmine Appice’s Rockaholics Metal Fan Camp, please visit http://carmineappicefancamp.com/.

Chris Krovatin is the author of three young adult novels,

With death metal and hardcore leading the mall-promoted face of metal (or whatever the fuck people under 20 care about these days, God, I need a drink), breakdowns have become a staple point within the genre. Every dude who likes swinging a ham-sized fist around for no reason spends much of any metal concert waiting for that moment when things slow down and he can stomp around like a violent turtle. There’s even an entire genre now, “deathcore” that seems to be composed entirely of breakdowns. Chug-chug, slam-slam, we all love a good breakdown.

What aren’t always given their due, however, are speed-up parts, the moment where a mid-paced song bursts into a thrash section and some dude in the pit is given the go-ahead to hold up his index finger and spin it around, signaling the much-loved circle pit. I’ve always adored these moments, when a normal song explodes into a barrage of speed and aggression, as I’m much more of an old-school mosher, the running and slamming and freewheeling type, than the modern karate-kicking dance majors who so often populate the pit during a breakdown. So, to honor both the quick and the deadly (and to piss off scene bros and kvltists alike), here is my list of the Six Best Breakdowns and Speed-Ups.

The Six Best Breakdowns:

1. Pantera, “Domination” Aw, man, the original. Dimebag’s guitar breaks off of that pained wail and rolls right into that steady chug, eventually topped with insane weedling unlike any heard before. Tough as nails, catchy as Hell—the breakdown all others aspire to.

2. Slayer, “Raining Blood” The end of this classic Slayer track is a perfect example of a breakdown that makes a song. With its melodic variation on the opening riff coupled by the neck-snapping rhythm it stomps into, this manages to be both brawny and deeply evil at once.

3. Hatebreed, “Before Dishonor” If there was ever a breakdown to beat on one’s chest to, it’s that of “Before Dishonor.” Jamey Jasta bellowing, “WHAT I HAVE IN MY HEART, I’LL TAKE TO MY GRAVE” helps. Easily the most macho of the breakdowns on this list.

4. Lamb of God, “Now You’ve Got Something To Die For” Just beating that of “Black Label,” the breakdown closing “Now You’ve Got…” is the bottom line for metal kids who want to absolutely lose their shit in the pit. Randy Blythe’s roar over its opening is truly breathtaking.

5. Sepultura, “Propaganda” To be a stand-out breakdown on a record this chuggy and mid-paced takes some stones, but Sepultura pull it off without issue. It’s especially notable given how well it closes one of the faster songs on the record, and does so in a solid swoop, not a fade-out.

6. Anthrax, “Indians” Two words: WAR DANCE!

Band of note: Dying Fetus I really wanted to include a Dying Fetus track on this list, but every attempt at finding the right song made me think, Is this an actual breakdown, or just a Dying Fetus part? Let me take this moment to say that Dying Fetus are kings of the death-metal breakdown, and much of the modern obsession with breakdowns is their doing.

The Six Best Speed-Ups:

1. Lamb of God, “Ruin” Ye-hess. The moment where this song breaks into an off-kilter thrash part is absolutely obliterating and totally satisfying. If you listen to this song and your fist doesn’t begin pumping at this speed-up moment, you’re not doing it right. The sound of someone’s breaking point.

2. Cannibal Corpse, “Stripped, Raped, and Strangled” This Cannibal classic begins with a plodding, heavy-handed riff, but then breaks into a panicked whirlwind of guitar leads and drums that perfectly expresses the insanity of its protagonist. This is how a speed-up can be used as a consistent part, and subsequently craft a song into something better than it once was.

3. Slayer, “Postmortem” Not only is the sudden change in tempo of this song impressive, but the sudden speed applied to the sudden barrage of wordy lyrics—“My sinful glare at nothing holds thoughts of death behind it”—showcases Tom Araya’s vocal versatility. Look, just tell me this: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?

4. Guns N’ Roses, “Paradise City” Oh yeah—even the glamor boys got in on the speed. The sudden supercharged ending of this track takes the main riff and throws it on its head with a big dose of Lemmy. Didn’t think you could mosh to GN’R? Think again.

5. The Crown, “Devil Gate Rider” This Swedish death-metal classic, guest starring Tomas Lindberg of At the Gates, is the best song about drag-racing in Hell that has ever existed. And when it speeds up, you can basically see a checkered flag dropping and smell rubber burning. BORN! TO! RACE!

6. Mercyful Fate, “A Dangerous Meeting” Though not as much a thrash part as the speed-ups above it, the acceleration of “A Dangerous Meeting” ups this chug-along Satanic metal song’s cred, and probably inspired every black-metal band, ever.