Ministry’s Al Jourgensen Shares His Top Five Tips for Signed Musicians

Since founding influential industrial-metal band Ministry 30 years ago, Al Jourgensen–who is featured in our new, 100th issue as one of the 100 Greatest Living Rock Stars–has experienced almost everything it’s possible to encounter as a hard-living extreme-music-maker. With Ministry returning with a new album, Relapse, in March and supporting tour next year–plus Jourgensen’s psycho-country outfit Buck Satan and the 666 Shooters finally dropping their debut, Bikers Welcome! Ladies Drink Free, in January–now seemed like a good time to pick the rock icon’s brain for some of the most important lessons he has learned through his years in the biz.

5.”Never drink wine that doesn’t have a cork in it. No boxes. No screw-off things. Just drink wine with a cork and shut the fuck up.”

4. “Always use clean needles.”

3. “Immediately be suspect of everyone around you, especially the ones closest to you–your agent, management, porn star wife, etc.”

2. “Audit the record labels every two years. You’re allowed to do it that often, and if you audit those fuckers, you’ll see there’s money flying hand over fist that you’re not seeing. It’s worth it. You can find auditors who will do it on speck and they’ll get a percentage of what they find, and what they find is a goldmine because these motherfuckers are shameless. I don’t care if it’s an independent label or a major label–they’re all shameless.”

1. “Put it in her ass or her mouth, but don’t stick in in her pussy unless you have a rubber.”

 

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  • Rtg

    I love you Uncle Al!

  • Anonymous

    Uncle Al for President!

    • Yo yo yo

      Yes! Let’s elect a drunk, hillbilly wannabe who wrote the inspiring line “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 99 percent”! Afterall, it’s not like this country could get any worse!!!!!

  • Civa666

    Grandpa JouRgenson shoots and scores from the 3 point line!

  • Ding Dong

    What a cunt! Go to bed, old man!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jason.harmon1 Jason Harmon

    Check your facts Revolver, the Buck Satan CD is already out it came out like the second week of November I got mine from the Ministry website 

  • Hey Now Hey Wow

    What happened to his face?!?!? He used to be such a cutie!!! I’M NOT…………….AN EFFIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGY, HEY!!!!!

  • junky

    Never trust a junky.

  • Jim H

    FUCK ANYONE who has a bad thing to say about Al Jourgensen. 

    • E. Atme

      FUCK ANYONE who has a good thing to say about Grandpa Senile Predator. How does this bozo have ANY followers?! What is the appeal?!?!

  • Ihateyou

    Shit! Another great advice.

  • XXrrXX

    Yes. 100% correct as usual.