Ask Mistress Juliya: 08/03/11
Mistress Juliya is best known for her work on Fuse TV hosting such metal-themed shows as Uranium, Metal Asylum, Let It Rock, and Slave to the Metal. She has also made appearances at the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival and Rock on the Range. She currently co-hosts the Top Twenty Countdown on Fuse premiering at 5 P.M. every Tuesday. Email your advice questions for her to AskJuliya@revolvermag.com and check back every Wednesday for her latest column.
Hi Juliya, I’ve been single for a really long time now and I’m having trouble dealing with it. It’s making me doubt myself and my ability to ever have a woman again. Everyone tells me to just “wait it out” or “be myself,” but it’s hard when I don’t know what to do or say. What advice do you have for getting back out there?
Matt, what will attract others is you feeling confident and comfortable in your skin. So, first, reflect on what it is that makes you awesome: your interests, hobbies, whatever, and feel good about it. Try to do more social activities where you can meet someone with similar interests and thereby making you more comfortable, with something in common to talk about. And finally, be open-minded to approach someone new and just be yourself and friendly. Approach conversation as you would with a friend. That way, if you feel the person isn't interested, you can casually back off. But if you feel that the girl is vibing on your casual comment or conversation, keep it going and see where that takes you!
Juliya, what advice would you give to someone who struggles with self-esteem issues about their appearance?
Dear Ashley, that exact issue is something I suffered with tremendously in my adolescence and early 20s. The worst part about it is, no matter what anyone else said, even if it was sincere, I just didn't believe it. At one point I got really sick of it and decided that if I did things for myself that I enjoyed and surrounded myself with better people, it should help. So, I would save money to get clothes I really liked. Do my hair. Go to a spa here and there. Started exercising. I started taking care of my skin and hair, which all made me feel very female and kinda fancy. And I focused on hobbies I really enjoyed with friends who were really sincere and fun. That made a lot of difference. The fact is, if you feel good, you will look good. And exercising had a huge impact on my confidence a well. It made me feel good and enjoy wearing clothes.