Ask Mistress Juliya: 09/01/2011
Mistress Juliya is best known for her work on Fuse TV hosting such metal-themed shows as Uranium, Metal Asylum, Let It Rock, and Slave to the Metal. She has also made appearances at the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival and Rock on the Range. She currently co-hosts the Top Twenty Countdown on Fuse premiering at 5 P.M. every Tuesday. Email your advice questions for her to AskJuliya@revolvermag.com and check back every Wednesday for her latest column.
There’s this girl that I pretty much love with all my heart, and she had a really serious relationship about a year ago and can’t get over her ex just yet. She said to me that she really likes me but needs some more time and when she feels right she’ll give me a chance. I took her word for it and promised her that I would wait as long as I had to for her. All the time she’s talking to other guys while I’m turning down girls just for her. I’m really beginning to think she just said that to be nice to me thinking that I would find somebody else. Do you think I’m doing the right thing?
Tyler, there are two things that can be happening here:
1. She really does like you but knows if she gives you a chance, it would be a serious situation again. So she is talking to other guys because it is fun without the pressure of being with someone in a serious relationship again. If this is the case, she will come around.
2. She likes you but not that much. Possibly thinks you are super cute and sweet...but after her heartbreak, it isn't what she wants. Which means she isn't crazy about you as much as you are about her...and while she might give you a chance one day, she isn't really that interested.
The solution for both cases:
You have put it out there that you really care for her. You definitely did the right thing with that. One should always make their feelings known...so the other person can choose how to react. But being that she didn't respond right away...for you to turn away girls is crazy. You should go about your life. If she is ever "ready" to give you a chance, and you haven't already found someone awesome, then you can see where the relationship takes you. If she never gives you the chance--because she isn't that into you, or she meets someone else--then you are just sitting around with growing low self-esteem. Not to mention that you may appear a bit desperate or even weird if you don't date anyone while waiting around for her.
If she is aware that you want her, when she sees you with someone else, that will be the true test. Either she will give you that chance then, or if she doesn't...she doesn't care as much as you need her to, in which case, it would never work anyway. Both parties must be really into each other to make a good healthy and long-term relationship work.