Ask Mistress Juliya: 11/02/2011

Mistress Juliya is best known for her work on Fuse TV hosting such metal-themed shows as Uranium, Metal Asylum, Let It Rock, and Slave to the Metal. She has also made appearances at the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival and Rock on the Range. She currently co-hosts the Top Twenty Countdown on Fuse premiering at 5 P.M. every Tuesday. Email your advice questions for her to AskJuliya@revolvermag.com and check back every Wednesday for her latest column.

I have been in love with this girl for seven years. We have been through many things including my going to prison for over four years. Now we are 2,500 miles apart and will have to be for two years. We talk and text a lot and things are good as can be. We talk of getting married and having a family. My family does not care for her too much though, which makes things harder. Do you think we’ll make it and live happily ever after?
—John

Dear John,
This is clearly a complicated situation. This is what I will say: The opinion of your family is only important for your own reflection. Why do they dislike her? Are they correct or just judging? Those are things for you to think about and form your own opinion about.

On the rest of the issues, there are two ways to look at it. You guys have been together for a long time and have endured many very hard times. That’s heavy. That means you two clearly love each other and have a deep level of dedication. That is definitely something very important and worthy in a relationship that is to last a long time. In these seven years, you guys have not really been “together” that much. As you said, you spent more then half of that time in prison, and now you are a very very long distance apart. Perhaps this is a sign that life does not want you to be together even though you guys keep trying. If seven  years later, you seem further apart then ever, then perhaps you were never meant to go the distance, even though you care deeply for each other. From my life experience (and I’ve had some dark ones) love is not enough. There are many factors that are required to allow people to stay together long enough to have a family, be happy, and not separate down the line. Honestly, you cannot check these factors via a long-distance relationship. You need to be around each other a lot and really see if you gel in every day mundane life. Also, long-distance love is more torturous to both parties then pleasurable. Most importantly, love should bring pleasure and fulfillment, instead of pain and emptiness.

With all this said, love is a personal matter of the heart and mind. So think very seriously about all of these things, and decide what is best for both of you. If you really love each other, you would want each other to be happy. Sometimes that means muscling through tough times, and sometimes it means letting go, and letting yourself and the other find their true path.

 

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