Cavalcade Pick the Top Five “Tiny Horrific Hellraisers”

Co-founded by metal lifer Phil Anselmo and true-crime author Corey Mitchell, the inaugural Housecore Horror Film Festival goes down in Austin, Texas, October 25 – 27. Brazilian horror legend Coffin Joe will be there, Nekromantik director Jörg Buttgereit will be there, The Manson Family director Jim VanBebber, Goblin will be there live-scoring a screening of Susperia while Mayhem vocalist Attila Csihar will provide a live score to The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in his Void ov Voices alter ego. Down, Crowbar, Eyehategod, and Warbeast will play, as will Anselmo’s solo project, Philip H. Anselmo & the Illegals. In anticipation of the event, various members of the HHFF staff and bands will be providing lists on a variety of topics; here, one of the other performing bands, Cavalcade, pick their Top Five Tiny Horrific Hellraisers.

5. Greta from Gremlins 2
“While not really a ‘horror’ film by conventional definitions, Gremlins 2 is pretty damn bizarre (and gory, if you sub blood splatter for green goop) for what was sold as a pretty mainstream flick at the time. I mean, have you rewatched this recently? It’s bonkers compared to the relatively family-geared Christmas classic the original Gremlins has come to be considered. On that note, what’s more terrifying than a bouncing-furby-turned-razor-toothed-greasy-lizard-creature? A razor-toothed-greasy-lizard-creature that matches the gremlin terror with that of the disgusting overzealous cougar at last call. Meet Greta. ‘Don’t be afraid of how you feel,’ indeed.”

4. Cat Ghoulie from Ghoulies I-III
“Exploiting a real life fear of how much less cute kittens would be if they spent their entire lives semi-hairless and covered in some kind of gross amniotic fluid (and, you know, killed people with knives occasionally). We always felt the Cat Ghoulie got the short end of the Ghoulie stick. Criminally underrated, not only was this Ghoulie passed over for Ghoulie ‘frontman’ status (instead going to the overrated Fish Ghoulie that graces release covers and T-shirts and really doesn’t even look like a fish for that matter), but in the ultimate Ghoulie slight, got stuck portraying ‘the dumb one’ in Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College. Anyway, we’re always pulling for the Cat Ghoulie. We may bring a petition to the HorrorFest to try and drum up support for him to star in his own horror/coming-of-age movie.”

3. The “Old Gods” from The Gate
“Very skillfully crafted pre-CG masterpieces from the often overlooked 1987 Tibor Takács classic. For extra creepy affect, in some scenes these miniature demons are stop-motion models and in others, they are costumed humans on a scaled set. It’s done well enough that you don’t even realize it, unless you’re looking for it. Bonus points for the demons in this film being summoned by ‘cursed’ heavy metal vinyl. All ours ever summon are confused expressions. Spoiler Alert: A preteen Stephen Dorff ends up ‘Taking his freedom back’ in the end.”

2. Greaser Greg from The Garbage Pail Kids
“Okay, maybe to you, The Garbage Pail Kids movie isn’t horror, but really, is it not? Watch this clip of Greaser Greg saying ‘Chicks is chicks’ for 15 straight minutes and tell me you aren’t a little uncomfortable, to say the least. I mean, honestly, this shit makes my skin crawl in ways DECADES of movies MEANT to elicit that feeling try and fail–and Greaser Greg is the worst. I mean, I didn’t just stumble onto this with no frame of reference, I actually collected these cards when I was a kid and I STILL don’t get how this equates to such a ridiculously off-putting movie-watching experience. I was recently forced to rewatch this and I confirmed, it’s still awkward, terrifying and I still feel like I just need to take a shower when it’s over.”

1. Talking Crite from Critters
“Much like our guitarist Brad, Critters have their own language of high pitched squeals, rasps and weird guttaral sounds, which perhaps explains his love for the entire Critters series. More exciting than watching the Critters movies is watching Brad watch the Critters movies, especially the amusement and childlike wonderment on display when the one that abandons his native Crite language begins to deliver observations in very proper English. Hilarious. This one is also in honor of a special edition HHFF-only shirt design we’re making specifically to bring down to the festival.”

 

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