Dark Thrones: Hard Rockers WILSON Rate Toilets on the Road, Part 2
Hard-rock outfit WILSON are shitter aficionados. They've been rating toilets on the road for a while on their own blog, and now they're bringing their expertise to RevolverMag.com. The band is currently crossing the country with GWAR and Warbeast on the Fate of Chaos tour, from whence they will be educating us on their various bathroom encounters. Here, singer Chad Nicefield drops No. 2.
"Goddammit Little Rock, Arizona! I have been jipped again! The moment we pulled up to the Rev Room, my anus started yelling at me in tongues (thank you Waffle house!) I eagerly ran though the venue asking for the nearest available porcelain princess. Opon arrival...this. Look at that sad ass-gripper. And it's a fucking Crane bowl! These are the same toilets I've seen numerous ass-clowns back in highschool use to give unsuspecting, pre-puberty "Magic the Gathering"-lovers swirlies on a daily basis... I know the crane bowl all to well...Shivan Dragons for life!
"I sat down and released a demon child--a real gargantuan! When I went to wipe, to my dismay, one sheet of fucking TP!!! I had to turtle walk my ass to the stall over and salvage the last remaining one quarter of a roll to get the dingle berries that were starting to form clear.
"And to top it off no plunger..and no lock on the stall door. This is a 3 out of 10. I hope Nashville has me singing some Muddy Waters tomorrow!"
For the latest on WILSON, visit WilsonPartyAnimals.com, Instagram.com/WilsonParties, Twitter.com/WilsonParties, Soundcloud.com/WilsonRock, Youtube.com/WilsonParties, WilsonParties.Tumblr.com/, and WilsonParties.BigCartel.com/.