Dark Thrones: Hard Rockers WILSON Rate Toilets on the Road, Part 5
Hard-rock outfit WILSON are shitter aficionados. They’ve been rating toilets on the road for a while on their own blog, and now they’re bringing their expertise to RevolverMag.com. The band is currently crossing the country with The Greenery and American Fangs, from whence they will be educating us on their various bathroom encounters. Here, singer Chad Nicefield drops blog No. 5.
“Well, would you look at that?! What a pleasant way to welcome an anus to the road. First day of tour and already my bunghole is getting the shaft! (Well, the proverbial shaft). NO FUCKING T.P. Thanks, Cleveland! This one may deserve special honors in the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Shame. Besides the obvious lack of proper derriere equipment, what you can’t see is the molding around the base of the toilet being literally nonexistent. As a went to place my buns on this gargoyle, the fucking toilet started to slide and tip over. I had to brace myself against the wall to keep from falling over like one of those scared-stiff goats you see on the Youtubes. Upon placing my freshly cleaned paws against the wall, I noticed a wetness that wasn’t coming from my poo-berated, clammy palms… It was a fucking loogey. NICE! They don’t call ‘em the Cleveland Browns for nothing. One out of 10 dingleberries over here for Cleveland.”