Guest Blog: “Bad Advice” from Phil Labonte of All That Remains
“I like politics and starting trouble. I also yell at a stick,” Phil Labonte says of himself on his Facebook page. As the often controversial frontman of All That Remains, Labonte lives up to his own description. His band is about to his the road in Europe to kick off months of nonstop touring both abroad and in the U.S. in support of its sixth album, 2012′s A War You Cannot Win.
Here, he answers fan questions as part of his “Bad Advice” series. To submit your own questions, email PhilsBadAdvice@gmail.com. As Labonte says, “no question is too stupid or out there, so fire away! And remember, follow all advice at your own risk…”
What’s up Phil? Got a girl question. I’ve been dating this girl for four years now. Inevitably the relationship has gotten more and more intense. She still gets jealous and seems to be insecure when I talk to other girls. I just moved to her hometown and thought that would calm her insecurities. I don’t know if I’m not showing her enough affection or if it’s wrong to talk to girls that I’ve had a thing with in the past. Is she nuts or should I not be talking to other girls at all?
She’s crazy. Set her on fire and run away.
Phil, I’m in need of some serious help. I have a very annoying neighbor who keeps calling the cops on me and some friends for playing our instruments to loud. The last time she called them she interrupted us jamming on “Just Moments in Time.” How do we deal with the situation?
Is there a public sidewalk around? I’d look into a permit then. Practice on the sidewalk in front of her place. It’s not gonna make anything smoother, but it will be funny.
Last month, I went to see y’all at a Shreveport venue, The Riverside Warehouse. When y’all began to play, a group of 10 or so guys started moshing. Everyone that was around us was extremely annoyed by this. We were more concerned with being assaulted or injured than being able to enjoy the show. At one point, a member of the second band joined in and I thought I saw you scolding him. The moshing took away a lot from the show for me and everyone I was with. So my question is, what is your opinion of moshing and would there ever be point where you would stop a show because of it?
If people start actually fighting, I’ll stop ‘em. But if it’s just mosh-pitting, we kinda encourage that. The crazier the crowd the better.
If you had the choice, would you choose the blue pill (blissful ignorance) or the red pill (painful truth of reality)?
Too late. Red seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hi Phil, glad to see you’re doing the advice column again. I live in a shitty low income apartment complex, and my upstairs neighbors are a fucking nightmare. They have four adults and five kids in a three-bedroom unit, and they are loud as shit from about 6 A.M. to 11:30 P.M. every day. They just keep making excuses and nothing changes. Yesterday, they dumped a shitload of water through their back deck onto my wife while she was having a cigarette and a glass of wine, ruining both, and the bitch just says, “Oh sorry, that was me.” I want to shoot them all, but don’t want to get in trouble. What should I do?
A doused smoke ‘n’ spoiled glass of wine doesn’t really call for a felony. I’d start with, bitch more. Squeaky wheel brings home the bacon, or something like that.
Dear Phil, I feel the need to make my own fireworks in my friend’s garage. I know absolutely nothing about making fireworks. Also, my friend isn’t really my friend, he’s more like a guy who doesn’t lock his garage. Is my plan a good idea?
If you have a friend who can film it and post the video on the Internet in the highly likely event that you die, then it’s the greatest idea I’ve ever heard in my life.