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Interview: Nekrogoblikon Talk Goblins, "Beautiful Former Models," and Power

Interview: Nekrogoblikon Talk Goblins, Power">

Arguably the first ever "goblin metal" band, Nekrogoblikon recently released their brand new record, Power. The EP was produced by Nekrogoblikon, and mixed by Matt Hyde (Deftones, Children of Bodom). For a taste of what Nekrogoblikon is about, check out their music video for the track “No One Survives” (featuring Jon Lajoie of Comedy Central’s The League and adult entertainment star Kayden Kross), which is embedded below and went viral shortly after posting and already has two-million-plus views. Considering all these goings-on, we sat down with the band's Nicky Calonne to discuss all things goblikon.

REVOLVER Why the goblin theme? What is it about goblins that just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? And is the "necro" in the band name as in "necrophilia"? If so, who in the band is sexually attracted to dead goblins?
Nicky Calonne I think "warm and fuzzy insides" are the only attributes shared by all legitimately good humans. "Nekro" is actually a prefix we borrowed from the word "Nekrocious," which roughly translates to "one who sleeps only with the living." Goldberg and Bready both feel sexually attracted to dead goblins, however. The goblin theme comes from this one time we were all hanging out. We were eating an extra large pizza and then these goblins came bursting through the window. They took us up in their spaceship (which was pretty similar to the one in "Independence Day") and beat us with reeds for 50 years. After that they used a time machine to restore our youths and told us we had to make this goblin band, or else they would continue whipping us for all eternity. At first we said no, but they whipped us again, only this time for a hundred and two years. This back and forth continued for around six millennia, after which point we had already gotten bored and decided we might as well create the band. Power is a five-song album, BTW.

As self-professed "world-renowned sex icons," how hard is it to write such heavy tunes while being such lady-killers? Tell us a bit about your writing style and process. Who influences you, and beyond that, how do you keep it original?
Well, it's interesting you mention it, because we ARE world-renowned sex icons. We actually have a full staff of beautiful former models, none of whom we kill. They write all the music and lyrics for us, which makes sense. We'd rather be a "Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons" cover band like we originally were, but the writhing hordes of nude, glistening women keep us in check. We have many influences so tracking all of them is literally impossible. We like to keep it original by having other people write all of our music (pssst! Power is a five-song album), and constantly changing our image and/or sound. We are forced to do that by goblins, which is interesting.

How was it working with producer Matt Hyde?
We communicated only in grunts. It was what we all wanted, so it wasn't awkward. We shared a platter of almonds, by candlelight. He's a good dude though, and we see him at all the weekly goblin meetings, so he's pretty well attuned. If I had to answer this question in one word, I'd choose "power." "Power" or "Snape." Matt's great though- a total non-Snape (people-wise), to the core. he also recommended that we tell everyone reading this interview that Power is a five-song album.

So, the thing that everyone wants to talk about--that "No One Survives" music video. How did you make this masterpiece?
If I had to answer this question with one quote, it would be "Scorpion does NOT approve." I don't though, so here's the thing... it's a funny story actually. There was this other band called Goblonekrinom, and they were getting pretty popular. Our fleet of slippery savory wenches took it upon themselves to perform confidential reconnaissance on or pertaining to Goblonekrinom. What they found was no lie, but also no secret. Essentially, we stole the music video from another very similar band (which is fronted by this dude Brandeaun Dermerre, who's a real pill- and a fake dude… unsavory). We attribute the massive success of the video mainly to bong rips and an ever more illustrious career in the secret arts of forbidden masturbation. Jon Lajoie is actually a goblin himself, none--too ironically. His main hobbies include painting and sailing (blood type A-).

Your third release, Power, hit stores on August 27th. What is it about Power, in your minds, that should blow "No One Survives" out of the water? Which tracks do you feel are standout and why?
For the fourth time: our third release Power is a five-song album. The secret here is to relentlessly trim the fat. The good part about inertia is it sort of takes care of itself, so as long as you water the plants it should be fine. It's pointless to build yourself up with false expectations or attempts to recreate the spontaneous moments of days gone by. I'm really proud of the lyrics and music on power, and I know that it will eventually mean a lot to some people. It's definitely catchy and accessible right off the bat, but I think there's a lot going on beneath the surface that gives it replay value. I think you can listen to this album a lot and still hear new things. Also, tell those stores to watch out… nobody likes to be hit (except for our other band mascot, Bongo ;)

Are you planning on releasing any new music videos any time soon? What can we expect?
We released a nonfiction video on the same day as Power, for "Powercore"… and you can expect it to ROCK. The narrative will be continued, and you will know more about that when the time comes.

A lot of up-and-coming bands are keeping it underground and doing it D.I.Y. nowadays. No label, no booking agency, nothing. Tell us, even at your level of recognition, why keep it D.I.Y.?
I think we've learned it's better to make reality your bitch than vice versa… at least on some fantastical level. Honestly, at first we would have loved to be on a label, but over the years we've been approached by many, signed by few. While on this treasure-laden quest, we've learned how to do quite a few thing ourselves. At this point, we basically have our own operation going, with a lot of the typical label functions being performed by separate "a la carte" companies. If somebody tried to jump in and sign us now, it'd have to be a pretty appealing offer for us to even consider it. It's like "bro- we already do all that by ourselves, and we tend to make more than 5%, or whatever criminal-ass meager shit the labels have been force-feeding their bread and butter all these years. Here's a cool quote, allegedly from Hunter S. Thompson: "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

Finally, we hear you guys formed six millennia ago. So tell us, in your opinion, what's the one thing that you’ve witnessed about our society during your lengthy time on this planet that you think should change?
Technically we are old, yes, but our hearts are filled with the youthful vigor of 10,000 starving hogs. I think reality is in place for a reason, and everything is delicately connected. Trying to change one thing would be like playing Jenga with a house of cards… it would change everything else as well. I would never say anything "should" change, necessarily. I've noticed that we all tend to reap the seeds we sow. Actually, I'd get rid of spiders.

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