Kitty Litter, Rock Weddings, Marilyn Manson and the Most Metal Moments from the Season Finale of Californication
All good rock shows end with a grand finale, and the final episode of Californication's sixth season featured a Marilyn Manson cameo, a rock-and-roll wedding and several shots of David Duchovny riding bitch on a motorcycle with a genuine Sex Pistol. As said in this episode by Duchovny's character, the Dionysian author and the show's protagonist Hank Moody, "All roads lead back home eventually," and after a season that included Judas Priest-aspiring leatherlove, groupie ethical ponderings, and some shocking misuse of a candy bar, among many other surprising scenarios, it's come to this. In an episode titled "I'll Lay My Monsters Down"—which was incidentally directed by Stephen Hopkins, the dude who directed A Nightmare on Elm Street 5, Predator 2, and Judgment Night—Moody and his mates wrap things up pretty smoothly, with only a few sleepless nights in between. As usual, the show's metal-loving creator and screenwriter for every episode this season, Tom Kapinos, has laced the episode with some blatant and a few subliminal references to hard-rock and metal culture, which is one of the many reasons we watch the show. So, in an attempt to doff Revolver's cap to a show that penetrates mainstream media with our music, here are the most metal moments from the season finale.
Get Him to the Greek
A major part of the plot this season has been watching the season's decadent and washed-up rock star, Atticus Fetch (played by Tim Minchin), getting ready for his big comeback, touring with Marilyn Manson. Near the beginning of this episode, Moody goes to Fetch's plane—Air Force 69 (introduced in the first episode)—but (spoiler) it's being unloaded onto a tour bus because the record company isn't looking out for him and Fetch is in the middle of a costly divorce. "I haven't been on a bus in well over 10 years," Fetch says. "It's so embarrassingly bargain basement." Nevertheless Moody rallies him to get out there, even though Fetch doesn't have his usual encouragement. ""I've never done an opening night without a good-luck kiss from my wife," Fetch says. "Back in the early day, she used to give me this really comprehensive blowjob, my balls and all, although I was usually two wired to cum." Eventually, they all do arrive at the Greek Theater, via bus, and Moody says, "I'll admit it, this is pretty cool." To which his girlfriend, the groupie-muse character Faith (Maggie Grace), says, "It's like Disneyland every day." After which Moody rejoins, "Yeah, without the morbidly obese riding around on scooters." Later in the episode Moody encourages his girlfriend, the groupie-muse character Faith (Maggie Grace), to give him a big kiss…but, shockingly, no blowjob. Either way, that's not very Disney.
The Cat Box
As Moody and Faith discuss whether or not to go on tour with Fetch, they're approached by a man named Vince who says he plays in a band mentioned in a previous episode called Mysstery ("with two S's"). "Our bus is the one called the Cat Club," he says as he invites her, in front of Moody, onto Mysstery's touring missile. "We call it that because if chicks want to come on, we ask them to pee in this litter box that we keep by the front door. See this way we know for sure that they're willing to party."
Manson aficionados will remember the kitty litter box as an integral part of the Antichrist Superstar's lore, listed as fact here, but not listed in Manson's tour rider even though a Smoking Gun commenter claims he's purchased it for Manson before. It's a fun reference that doesn't ultimately fly for Faith, who is quit to cut Vince of Mysstery down without mercy. "You're just not really that talented," she says. "I've heard your album and it's really shitty mall metal. So if I were you, I would just quit now and maybe Hot Topic will hire you back for the summer." Uh, can Revolver use that line in our reviews sections?
The Man That You Fear
The God of Fuck himself shows up midway through the episode, sans kitty litter, as he's playing after Fetch in the show. Perhaps the most disarming thing about Manson is that he's so affable on Californication. It's unsettling. "I just want to make it clear I was fucking with you," he says, actually apologizing to Moody for freaking out Hank's daughter in a previous episode. "I would not give drugs to your daughter…because I need them for later. By the way, how is the kid? Would you get her to send me the picture of her teabagging Atticus, because I want to put that on my Facebook." Can someone explain why Manson is so nice?! Is he really an Eddie Haskell type? Does he actually care about the well-being of young women? Why does he tolerate Faith calling him by his real given name, "Brian," at the start of the scene? Why is that when he smiles (see several more gifs of Manson smirking here), it is so unnerving? Let's move on before our brains explode trying to grasp the contradictions.
Fetch finally performed, after an introduction by the Sex Pistols' Steve Jones, who played Fetch's road manager this season, that aped KISS' trademark intro. "Good evening, Los Angeles," he announces. "You wanted the best…well they got stuck in traffic coming up the fucking hill." Here is a sampling of some of Atticus Fetch's lyrics, for your perusal. His music isn't "metal," you gotta appreciate the Spinal Tappiness of these words.
From "Step 'n' Fetch It": "I'm a slave to your motherfucking love/it's a shame I've had e-motherfucking-nough!" And then, with backup vocals, "I am not your goddamn bitch, fuck you and your step and fetch it, baby now."
From "Preggers and Poor": "Preggers and poor, bed on the floor, wolves at the door."
From who knows what song: "Right between the fire!" as flames burst around him.
Finally, the show's estranged "Fred and Ethel Mertz" characters Charlie and Marcy Runkle (actor Evan Handler and actress Pamela Adlon) tied the knot again this episode, and they did it in a surprisingly rock-and-roll way with Fetch acting as their officiant.
"Do you, bald fucking wanker, take this sexy little tree stump to be your immortal beloved?" asks Fetch. "I most certainly do, do," says Runkle, to which someone in the audience shouts "doodoo." "And do you, delicious little spinner, with whom I have shared a sexual encounter which will sustain me well into my golden years," asks Fetch, referencing this episode, "take this sweaty, hairless pinhead to be the very last sexual partner of your entire life?" After she does, Fetch pronounces them "wife and early man" and he plants one on her. Then (spoiler) in one of the more disappointing turns this seasons, we find out that Hank's onstage proposal to Karen (actress Natascha McElhone), in which he says, "Karen, be with me, spend the rest of your life with this fool and this fool will spend the rest of his life making sure you don't regret it," was just a fantasy. Bummer.
Never Mind the Bollocks
Eventually (spoiler) Hank realizes he misses Karen too much to stay with Faith and asks off the tour. Faith says, "I could love you, you know. I'm not saying that I do, I'm saying that I could, which is rare for me and deserves to be acknowledged." Moody just isn't in the same place and elects to go back and seek out Karen—and, frustratingly, we don't really find out what happens. So ends season six of Californication. The questions we're left with is, what will become of Faith, who stays on Fetch's bus? Will Stu, Marcy's other ex (played by Stephen Toblowsky) ever get that cock cage off? And of course, will Hank ever requite his love with Karen? We'll have to wait until January to find out. But before we bid adieu, here's a parting shot of Hank riding bitch on a motorcycle with Steve Jones. Until next time!
Production stills by Monty Brinton/SHOWTIME