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Live Report: The Metal Alliance Tour, with Anthrax, Exodus, Municipal Waste, and Holy Grail, in New York City

Live Report: The Metal Alliance Tour, with Anthrax, Exodus, Municipal Waste, and Holy Grail, in New York City

Chris Krovatin is the author of three young adult novels, Heavy Metal & You, Venomous, and Gravediggers: Mountain of Bones. He is currently working on multiple new writing projects, as well as new material with his local New York metal band Flaming Tusk. He is a contributing writer for Revolver and generally comes off as a good-natured pain in everyone’s collective ass. This piece below represents his opinions–and probably only his opinions.

Irving Plaza, New York. Saturday, April 20.

Date of this concert: 4/20.
And how are we today: Dave’s not here, man.
Journalists’ favorite thing to hear at a will-call window: “You’re not on any of the lists we have.”
Even better: “Absolutely, sorry for the inconvenience,” 15 minutes later.
Backpatch of the night: The one of spiraling Pantera logos, on the back of a chick.
Cost of a 24 oz. Bud Light tall boy at Irving Plaza: $13.
Cost of a Genesee Cream Ale: $5.
Number of Genesees consumed upon arrival: 3.
How you doing there, buddy: What’s a buddy?
First up: Holy Grail from California.
Sounds like: Just, man, just fucking great.
Surprise of the night: While not my favorite record, Holy Grail’s latest, Ride the Void, sounds absolutely awesome live.
Favorite Holy Grail track of the night: The always-awesome closer, “Fight to Kill.”
Favorite piece of merch available: Municipal Waste’s shirt featuring a chick shotgunning a beer through some dude’s perforated head.
Least favorite aspect of Irving Plaza: The No Re-Entry policy. Such horseshit.
Second least favorite aspect of Irving Plaza: The lukewarm half-bunned hot dog I’m forced to eat due to aforementioned No Re-Entry policy.
Up next: Shadows Fall from Massachusetts.
Band Shadows Fall is replacing on this tour, on 4/20: High on Fire.
Resulting emotion: I hate you, Shadows Fall. I hate you more than any band, ever.
Even Megadeth?: I could never hate a band more than Megadeth.
Brilliant observation of the night: Shadows Fall frontman Brian Fair’s dreads must be cumbersome to headbang like that.
Sad moment of the night: What, no “Crushing Belial?” No “Fleshhold?”
Favorite crowd spotting of the night: Municipal Waste’s Tony Forresta, charging past me. Huh, dude looks pissed.
What Tony Forresta is probably pissed about: This BULLSHIT NO RE-ENTRY POLICY, most likely.
On that note, we have: Municipal Waste from Richmond, Virginia.
Headbanger: Face rip.
Number of seconds into the Waste’s set before a cloud of smoke rises from the crowd: 2.6.
Number of dugout hits taken: 5.
What’s going on, man: Everyone’s beautiful. Thrash metal is just so fucking beautiful.
Favorite Municipal Waste track of the set: The crushing power of “The Thrashin’ of the Christ.”
Interesting stage banter: Tony Forresta calling Anthrax “the hometown heroes.” I never think of Anthrax as a New York band these days.
Reasons for not thinking of Anthrax as an NYC band: 40% Scott Ian living in LA, 60% Joey Belladonna’s tan.
Tip for the burgeoning partier: Headbanging plus multiple beers plus herbal refreshment equals feeling like you’re going to pass out midway through a show.
Follow-up tip: Never get old.
Two left, next we got: Exodus.
From: New Zealand. The Bay Area, you fucking mook.
Hilarious sight of the night: A bunch of sweaty thrashers throwing up the horns and screaming the phrase “SADO-SEXUAL VIOLEEEENCE!”
Catty observation of the night: Frontman Rob Dukes has packed on a few pounds.
Further catty observations: Rob, who you pointing at? Is that even a stage move?
All that said: Rob Dukes is, in my opinion, Exodus’ best frontman.
Awesome track of the night: All of them. But especially “Fabulous Disaster.”
Admission of the night: I could give a fuck about “Bonded by Blood.”
One band left, you OK there, pal: I think I gotta go to the hospital.
And finally: Anthrax, from NYC, which everyone keeps reminding me.
Specialty of the night: Anthrax are playing Among the Living in its entirety.
Big impressive moment of the night: Wow, Joey Belladonna sounds a lot better now than he did on that reunion tour all those years ago!
Hot damn: I can’t believe I ever doubted the dude. He’s killing it.
However: I am now reminded that not all of Among the Living is that good.
All that said: WAR DANCE!
End of the night: A blast of fresh air and a straight-up canon being sparked the minute I leave.
What else you got going on?: There are other things?