Nekrogoblikon Pick Their Favorite Movie/TV Goblins
Earlier in the year, California-based metal band Nekrogoblikon became an overnight sensations with the audacious, graphic and thoroughly entertaining music video for their song “No One Survives” (see above if you’d like to join the rest of us in this thing we call society). Since they’re responsible for the onset of goblin metal, we asked the members of Nekrogoblikon to name their all-time favorite movie/television goblins.
Tim “Timbus” Lyakhovetskiy (guitars)
The Hobbit (1977)
Directed by Arthur Rankin, Jr. and Jules Bass
Anyone born in the ’70s and ’80s probably has at least a vague notion of this animated J.R.R Tolkien adaptation, but most probably don’t know that it was animated by a Japanese studio that was a precursor to Studio Ghibli (Princess Mononoke, (Howl’s Moving Castle, etc.)
Disappointingly, the goblins in this one aren’t as green or brutal as they should be, but they are accompanied by a badass song and live underground in a giant, disgusting cave system. In real life, the goblins would have ripped Bilbo to shreds and feasted on his meat.
Goblins in The Hobbit:
Nicholas Von Doom (vocals)
Directed by Joe Dante
Starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates and Hoyt Axton
Gremlins is just one of the innumerable classic films (Gone With the Wind, The Mighty Ducks, Titanic, Schindler’s List, etc.) that are actually about goblins.
This timeless tale of Christmas Armageddon starts a few days before Christmas in a town facing the plentiful woes of a tough economy. The main character in the film is Billy Peltzer, a classic ’80s teen bank teller barely making enough money to keep his whole family of knuckleheads afloat. His father Rand goes to Chinatown to try and hawk some of his junky inventions to hopelessly oblivious foreigners. This fails and Rand ends up buying a mogwai from a shop proprietor’s rebellious grandson (classic Rand).
Three rules come with the mogwai:
1) Don’t expose it to bright light (sunlight will kill it).
2) Don’t get it wet.
3) Never, ever feed it after midnight.
Getting ‘em wet makes them multiply and feeding them after midnight turns them into gremlins (our heroes, who are actually goblins, it turns out). Light just pisses ‘em off and/or kills them.
The rest of the film features some glorious mayhem courtesy of the gremlins (goblins), who end up doing plenty of ironic justice for all of the filthy human inhabitants of the town. The mean old lady who’s single-handedly responsible for the town’s plight is launched to her demise, animal abuse advocates are put in their place, and everybody likes Snow White.
Eventually, the humans accidentally win and everything is back to normal until Gremlins 2, and hopefully never the inevitable and horrid threequel Gremlins 3.
This movie teaches us that technology is bad, humans can be lucky, and always trust mysterious Chinese shop owners.
As staples go, this is one.
Alex Alereza (guitar)
Directed by Claudio Fragasso
Where do I begin? The movie is called Troll 2 and is not only about goblins, but does not even mention let alone feature a single troll. The goblins somehow derive their power from Stonehenge and disguise themselves as humans to eat other humans, yet are simultaneously vegetarian and threatened by bologna sandwiches. And it is all up to an ugly child and the wandering soul of his creepy deceased grandfather to stop them. At first I thought the movie was just epicly horrible, but after repeated viewings I began to find myself thinking: perhaps this movie was so ahead of its time that even now, 22 years later, we still are hopelessly unable to fathom its brilliance.
Aaron Minich (keyboards)
The goblins of Spider-man (1994-1998)
When I was little I remember watching the Spider-Man animated series a lot. I was all about Spider-Man, I actually owned a copy of “The Hobgoblin” and watched it about a million times. I also started collecting cards of all the different characters in the series, the pictures of them all were beyond awesome! I still have these by the way.
I don’t know if I would call him my “favorite” Spider-Man villain but he’s definitely my favorite goblin villain from Spider-Man. I know without the Green Goblin there would never have been a Hobgoblin, so Green Goblin is just as awesome, but I gotta say I think I like the orange cape and costume better.
And the Hobgoblin collectors card might have been just a little bit cooler than the Green Goblin’s card. Just saying.
Brandon Dermer (director)
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
Directed by Joe Dante
Gremlins 2 took the grounded reality and charm of the original Gremlins and pissed Gremlin whiz all over it. I love Gremlins, and as a filmmaker, it’s a movie I constantly find myself looking to for inspiration. With that, Gremlins 2 holds a special place in my heart as well. The film is a cartoon-like tilt-a-whirl filled with slapstick violence, big bright and smoky ’80s sets, parodies, a fantastical score and a ton of goofy-ass Gremlins. This film is fun with a capital F.
Eddie “Drifty” Trager (drums)
Directed by Jim Henson
Starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly
Anything made by Jim Henson, the king of all things puppet, is bound to be an entertaining experience. Make it a musical starring David Bowie as the Goblin King and you have yourself a recipe for nekro-“gobs”-of-fun. This timeless story of redemption and coming of age (and the inspiration for the Nekrogoblikon song “Prince of the Land of Stench”) is one of my favorite goblin/creature movies. The performances are brilliant, the puppets are amazing, the sets are incredibly imaginative, and Bowie has the best hair this side of the galaxy. It also answers one of life’s basic questions – What kind of magic spell to use? In the words and song of David Bowie, aka Jareth, we find the answer:
What kind of magic spell to use?
Slime and snails
Or puppy dogs’ tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said
Dance, magic dance
Dance. Magic dance. Duh. Now imagine you lost your virginity to this movie and you’ll have a taste of what it’s like to be the drummer of Nekrogoblikon.
Brandon “Fingers” Frenzel (bass)
Troll Hunter (2010)
Directed by André Øvredal
Troll Hunter was truly a kick-ass Norwegian foreign film that had everything I like. Enormous monsters, conspiracy, a mysterious adventure filled with dark humor. Some college students set out to make a documentary to attempt to discover what’s really behind a series of bear maulings and seemingly natural disasters. “Fairy tales rarely match reality” is a line from the film, but the CGI would give anyone reason to doubt that statement. The northern European landscape is so barren and hauntingly beautiful, that invites the horror of the unknown. I really enjoy that it’s shot like a mock documentary, up close and personal. In a very black metal way, the trolls can smell Christians and will attack them based on their scent alone, so they have to cover themselves in a substance called Troll STENCH to survive. If you like Cloverfield I’d definitely recommend it. 10/10, would stench myself again.
Visit Nekrogoblikon and pick up their latest album, Stench, at Bandcamp here.