Skeletonwitch’s Scott Hedrick Lists the Top Five Worst Places to Take a Dump on Tour

“In order to tour, you have to sacrifice a lot of creature comforts,” says Skeletonwitch’s guitarist Scott Hedrick (pictured, far left). Even so, his band will be hitting the road again soon (they’re be touring with Amon Amarth and Enslaved early next year), and debuting new material from their new album, Serpents Unleashed, which will be released on October 29.

He continues, “You don’t get to sleep in your own bed (or sometimes at all), good meals can be tough to come by, there’s the obvious strain on relationships, and perhaps the most important issue of all–finding clean and private bathrooms. When you’re on tour you’re always on the go, and sometimes you just ‘gotta go!’”

So, without further ado, Hedrick lists for Revolver the top five worst places to take a shit on tour.

5. “Fly-ridden truck stop stall next to a 400-pound trucker that’s shitting so hard it sounds like he’s pooping his soul out of his body.”

4. “Filthy D.I.Y. squat-house toilet where 22 sloppy vegan dumps are deposited daily. Bonus points for the off-the-wall ‘anal-crust’ literature. I once read a pamphlet on ‘herbal abortion’ techniques in this situation.”

3. “Any rest area that has a toilet seat above a 10-foot free-fall into a river of excrement. Satan only knows what’s down there. I once saw an eyeball pop out of the shit-water like the garbage compacter scene from Star Wars. Not fun. Not to mention the smell.”

2. “European ‘toilets’ that are a small hole in the floor with footholds on the sides of the hole. Β The majority of toilets you will encounter in Europe are more or less, the same as the U.S. These ‘hole’ toilets, however, are a rare treat. Always up for a new cultural experience. I once ate bull penis–deal with it! So I decided to take the plunge, or the plop in this case. I’m still not sure what the correct procedure for a ‘clean getaway’ is in this scenario, but I made it out relatively unscathed.”

1. “Your own pants.”

 

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  • Kevin Ellis

    I actually saw him come out of the womens bathroom at Rubber Gloves in Denton, TX. True story. I didn’t realize at the time that he was a connoisseur of bathrooms.

    Dug the story, can’t wait to hear the new album.

  • Kevin Ellis

    I actually saw him come out of the womens bathroom at Rubber Gloves in Denton, TX. True story. I didn’t realize at the time that he was a connoisseur of bathrooms.

    Dug the story, can’t wait to hear the new album.

  • Dingus McGee

    If anyone would know, it’s these dudes. They tour like maniacs!