Weekend Nachos Vocalist John Hoffman Lists the Top Five Signs that You Are a Poser in Extreme Music

Chicago hardcore outfit Weekend Nachos are the real deal–the band’s ripping new album, Still, makes that readily apparent. The record is available on the Relapse Records’ website, and for more on the group, visit the band’s Facebook page. Here, vocalist John Hoffman lists for Revolver the Top Five Signs That You Are a Poser in Extreme Music.

 

5. BEING A TAPPER “This applies to drummers only, but is a huge issue for me as a fan of metal and hardcore. You might think it’s really awesome that you can rely on triggers and just tap away at your expensive drum set, but to me, you are nothing more than a xylophonist in a symphony orchestra. At what point did you decide that precision was more important than pure hatred and rage? Hit your drums hard otherwise your band will suffer as a result. Seriously. Too many times I have gone to see a band play and been repulsed by how big of a sissy the drummer was. I love tight blast beats as much as the next guy, but I don’t love them enough to watch a drummer for one of my favorite bands play music the same way he would kiss his grandma on the cheek.”

4. CAB TO VOLUME RATIO “Well, it is clear to me that you have a lot of gear. Maybe your label bought it for you, maybe you slaved away at some awful job–either way, that’s cool. I like gear. But wait…you just hit your opening note and I can’t hear shit. Wait, it’s probably the sound guy’s fault, because of course we all know sound guys are the lowest form of human life and they almost always suck at what they do. FUCK, it’s not the sound guy because I am seeing you in a basement that can fit maybe 50 people. So why are your cabs not pushing anything out of them?! That’s right–you are more concerned about looking cool than actually being cool. I am so tired of seeing a ‘heavy’ band and not even needing to wear my ear plugs. Either your gear really isn’t that great or you simply don’t know how to use it. I wish you would go back to playing in Neutral Milk Hotel, who are probably louder than your ‘doom’ band anyways.”

3. NOT WATCHING OTHER BANDS “Now we’re moving on to a non-musical aspect of poserdom–your disinterest in what the opening bands have to offer. Look, I get it. You’re tired. You’ve been on the road all day. You have played a thousand shows and realized that most opening bands are not very good–it’s true, I can admit this. But I have to ask, who the FUCK are you anyways? I understand not watching every band that you play with, but when your first instinct is to head straight to the green room and chillax until your set, well I have good news for you–you are a poser. Why are you involved in this if all you want to do is jerk yourself off? Are you that much of a jaded old man that you can’t even show your face to your fans until you get up on that stage? To each his own, but this is my opinion: Stop. These kids love your music and they worship you. Give them more of a reason to appreciate your existence than just the time you spent in a studio recording your album. I don’t expect everything to function the way DIY hardcore does, but regardless of what scene you come from, we are all in this together. You are no better than anybody else and you should be interested in what’s going on outside of the little bubble you’ve created for yourself. That is, unless you are a poser.”

2. NO SENSE OF HUMOR “People who are ALL EVIL/NO FUN make me laugh. It is such a joke. I mean…seriously. COME ON. We know that you have a girlfriend and you watch cheesy movies with her. We know that you eat brunch. We know that you watch Dumb and Dumber instead of just horror movies all the time. So why do you want us to believe that you came straight from the crypt to terrorize our peaceful world? Look…Slayer is cool. Their imagery rules, but those dudes smile. They fuck around. They make jokes. You, for some reason, do not. I am not impressed. Let your goofy side out because no one thinks you are anything other than a poser.”

1. GLOSSY BAND PHOTOS “Welp…here it is. The No. 1 sign that you are a poser in extreme music–the band photo. There BETTER be something funny about your band photo if you dare hire an expensive photographer to take one. When you are all standing there with your Suffocation and ‘LISTEN TO BLACK SABBATH’ shirts on, looking like some edgy college chick just spent three hours doing your makeup, what else am I supposed to think other than that you are a poser? The glossy band photo is one of the lamest things about the metal and hardcore genre. If I thought you were joking around and making fun of how seriously people take themselves, I’d definitely give you a pass. But let’s face it…you’re not. You want to look cool, but there’s a problem…you aren’t. You’re one of the biggest dorks I’ve ever seen. Please don’t even attempt to show me otherwise with your glossy band photo. Poser.”

 

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  • Cpt Howdy

    You know what’s worse than a poser? Assuming everyone else is a poser if they don’t meet a series of standards set by a hardcore band’s vocalist. I’m sure he doesn’t mind the money he makes off the same posers that buy his overpriced snapbacks on All In Merch.

    • RadRadRudy

      Can you honestly disagree with any of his criticisms, though? My only quibble is whether the people who try too hard are really “posers” or just fail to live up to the “solid person” set of standards. You can be involved in DIY music all you want, but if you’re too full of yourself or your band, or trying to focus on the appearance of technical prowess vs the pure and raw expression of music we can all rock ours heads to, then you’re not the kind of person who is appreciated in smaller circles. It’s not that hard to be a good, contributing member of a subculture, but people sure do fail at just being decent human beings when their egos are on the line.

      • Cpt Howdy

        His points (and yours) are totally valid and I’m sure he’s probably a pretty humble dude face to face. The context in which he expressed his opinions probably wasn’t him at his best. The music and performance are usually negatively affected by ego maniacs (hear the last two Megadeth albums?) but I’m not sure this is the best means of refuting people whom he describes.. Bands who put on great performances and albums (and I thought their last album was great) will be noticed and respected on their own merits, though I’m sure it’s pretty frustrating for him regardless.

    • bro

      weekend nachos has snapbacks???? fuck yeah

      • Grinder

        I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone paying over 15 bucks for a weekend nachos gear..unless you’re buying a bunch of merch.

  • ChainsawChampion

    Another sign that someone is a poser is if they call other people posers.

    • RILEYSUKSDICKS

      Stop being cry babies. You must be POSERS!!!! if you are getting offended.

    • POOP

      dos dat mak u pos3r

  • Lamb of God

    i see the black veil brides are regular commenters here.

  • Tyree Gearhart

    Glad to see Revolver posted this, Thank you Weekend Nachos!

  • swordofkiller

    “We know that you eat brunch.” haha

  • weekdayBurrito

    Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Grow up, John!

  • Weekend posers

    This dude is about as cool as that wedgie from 3rd grade ,the one you had to throw your underwear out after

  • BloodFart

    It’s “poseur,” you fucking posers!

  • Kmero

    Breathing is for posers

  • sad and broken

    Their time at medusa is why they hate sound guys so much lol

  • satanclaus

    He’s in a band with “nachos” in the fucking title. Who the FUCK are you to tell people what’s heavy?

    • Amerijuanican

      You clearly haven’t listened to them.

    • Dale S

      You’re obviously lacking in point number 2.

    • IAMHEAVY

      seriously… satanclaus? :D who the fuck are you to tell heavy people who telling us what’s heavy that who the fuck are they to tell people what’s heavy?

  • death

    this dude is the true poser. he obviously understands nothing about the black metal spirit. need we reiterate that his band has the word “nachos” in it. sorry dude but your band sounds like an attraction at the county fair… not extreme not underground.

    • trveBl4kKmethulZ

      there’s nothing to understand about black metal spirit, it’s a joke, if you take it seriously you must be 14 or retarded

      • death

        i guess metal and punk is a casual and fun and games to you. fuck off and die slowly. how dare you trivialize the underground spirit. bring back the glory days of the 80s and beat the fuck out of this weakling!!! seriously though, you just insulated an entire genre…
        wow… you should probably stop going to shows altogether.

        • RomuluxX

          That was awfully nice of him to insulate a whole genre.

          • Ozzypinapple

            They will be much warmer now.

          • Ozzypinapple

            They will be much warmer now.

  • grim gus

    Street Pizza > Weekend Nachos but I definitely agree with the 3rd point

  • Guest

    what a cockhead

  • poser asshole

    this is the lamest fucking article iv ever read. get off your high horse buddy.

    • thedeathofirony

      *woosh*

  • FuckHardcorePussies

    Well hes talking about hardcore so he automatically is the poser. Al hardcore is, is a shitty rip off of punk and a lame excuse to dress like a hipster. Its not about the music clearly because the vast majority of “HxC” bands have little to no talent. How hard is it to play a shitty chorus where the whole band chants and a fucking breakdown for a 7 song set. Gimme a fucking break. These new HxC bands are basically a bunch of rich white kids who are angry because their parents love them too much so they need to walk around with a fucking chip on their shoulder. But oh i forgot, they are to emotionally deep that they need to get every HxC band’s lyrics from the entire discography tattooed on them somewhere because it speaks so vividly to them and the people that have to look at the shitty cheap tats they flaunt. ANd they also flaunt the fact that they are Hardcore. Its like as if you couldnt be anymore of a trend whore. These are the same kids that were probably on The Devil Wear’s Prada’s dick when they first came out because it was edgy. Hardcore kids are the downfall of heavy music. Fuck them all. and fuck their little scene girlfriends too. Its not about music for them, its about fashion.

    • Agoraphobic Tummyache

      You sound like a fun person that people like to be around.

      • FuckHardcorePussies

        I am a piece of shit cock sucker. Just so you didnt have to waste your time thinking it.

        HxC kids are literally what mkaes up the local music scene where im from and its trash. I go to big shows where local bands open so all of these types of kids flock in for the first few bands and usually leave afterwards(even though they preach about supporting the music even if you dont like it) and all they do is fight and cause bullshit drama. They are the reasons why venues in my city dont book those kind of shows anymore and security is amped up at the venues that still do. All because of this FUCK EVERYTHING IM COOL BECAUSE IM TOUGH attitude they carry around. They maintain their image and get everyone else fucked because of it.

        • Dorrito

          What youre not thinking about is this article goes out to music in general, not just hardcore. so stick that in your juice box and suck it.

          • fuckfacemcgee

            that moment when it says extreme music…..and that moment when the vocalist is specifically mentioning hardcore music.

            eat a dick

        • John McLaughlin

          Have you ever listened to Weekend Nachos? Because you seem to be under the impression that they’re another shitty Asking Alexandria clone with fringe cuts and neon shirts. And they’re not.

    • John McLaughlin

      You seem to be under the impression that Weekend Nachos are another shitty Asking Alexandria clone with fringe cuts and neon shirts. And you’re completely wrong and also an idiot for not doing your research.

  • Lev AKA Killa Silk Da Imperial

    “I am so tired of seeing a ‘heavy’ band and not even needing to wear my ear plugs”
    Stopped reading here. Earplugs are the #1 definitive mark of the poser.

    • missigsfan

      If you were a musician (or just not a dumbass) you would know that listening extensively to high volume music would destroy your hearing. It’s especially important to musicians because well…you need hearing to make music.

      • Lev AKA Killa Silk Da Imperial

        Just because I’m not posing with a guitar in all of my display pics for all the internet to see doesn’t mean I’m not a musician, ya presumptuous wee poof. I am both a musician and a fan of music in its purest form. I want that live sound filtered straight into my earholes with no buffer. If you’re afraid your hearing will be destroyed, listen to Celine Dion ya punk bitch.

        • missigsfan

          So…you’re just a dumbass then?

      • John McLaughlin

        Exactly. Being a musician and not having earplugs is straight-up idiocy.

      • bob

        It’s not extensive listening to high volumes that damages your hearing, you can listen to music 24 hours a day up to a certain volume threshold and have no damage, but even 1 second over that threshold will give you tinitus.

  • Jon Kaplan

    If any of you haters actually listened to his band and know him, none of this would be discussed. The simple fact that you’re taking this seriously makes you all posers. Weekend Nachos is no bullshit, heavy music and all those dudes are way cooler than you.

    • fuckfacemcgee

      I can name 3000 band heavy than that hatebreed wanna be band. eat a dick

      • missigsfan

        Hatebreed wannabe? The fuck are you talking about?

        • fuckfacemcgee

          I have seen and listen to them before. Just another play 2 chords and chugs as fast as you can kind of band. and make sure to yell. Absolutely nothing special or talented in the least bit about them. and recording wise, their drummer def 100% uses triggers, so that makes them posers i guess. There is no drummer in the world that can hit a snare with the same intensity every single time ever. You show me that and i will show you a robot in disguise.

          • missigsfan

            sample blending maybe but not triggers.

          • fuckfacemcgee

            sample blending=just as bad as triggers.
            not playing with the raw anger and emotion that he is talking about. just using a macbook and protools to sound like shit.

          • whostillreadsrevolver?

            Hey, how about you admit that you were wrong instead of changing the topic.

          • missigsfan

            I think he’s talking more about live situations than anything else, but regardless, the production on the new album is raw, heavy, and powerful. I’m listening to this album right now and I’m doubting more and more that they use samples or triggers or anything. There’s a lot of dynamic in the drums.

          • Bastardo

            You are clearly either lying through your dick hole about having heard them or you are the worst person ever in the world at sound comparison. WN sound nothing like Hatebreed in any way, shape, or form. And they also clearly do not use triggers, if you actually did listen to them you would have heard “flaws”. Your name is appropriate, please go stab yourself in the ears.

          • Bricktop Recording

            “There is no drummer in the world that can hit a snare with the same intensity every single time ever.”- Dead Wrong. I can tell you for a fact none of their records have had any triggering, quantizing or sample blending done to the drums. Just good drumming and good engineering. I know cause all their records have been done at my studio.

  • Bonekeg

    This guy is a butt plug. Sound guy and gear issues? most newer bands don’t know about stage mix, live mix or monitor mix. Casting this opinion on drummers who use triggers?! gimme a break not every band can be a fucking boring as a hardcore band and would prefer a precise sounding set. He probably hates bands that use solid state amps too because you know- its not as pure as using tubes or in the case of most hardcore bands some beat up shit box peavy 4X12 that sounds like dial up modem from 1998. Hardcore genre wise is at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to “aggresive” music its as simplistic as punk but with none of the fun which means its just sounds like lazy as fuck metal. listening to Weekend Nachos right now as I type this and being someone who has been playing, performing, recording and writing instrumental metal for 8 years…holy shit its so middle of the road. If this guy had the balls to come up to me in the green room of a show and tell me I was a poser for resting in the back until my set was up I would laugh in his face and then tell everyone at the show that weekend nachos can suck my dick during my set. your horse is way to high buddy. please go back to screaming nonsense over 3 other guys playing an open E for 3 and a half minutes.

    • Fuckfacemcgee

      YOU TOOK THE WORDS FROM MY MOUTH WHEN YOU KISSED ME LAST NIGHT!

      • Bonekeg

        even in the photo of this dude he doesn’t look like he knows whats he talking about.

        • derpmaster

          fuck yeah!

    • John McLaughlin

      “Hardcore genre wise is at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to
      “aggresive” music its as simplistic as punk but with none of the fun
      which means its just sounds like lazy as fuck metal”

      This is the stupidest thing I have ever read in any comments section of any news article, blog post, or Youtube video ever.

      • Bonekeg

        to be fair we are discussing personal opinions on music so its all kinda bullshit to begin with right? do you play an instrument dude?

        • John McLaughlin

          Been a bassist for almost 10 years. Mostly in metal, with a bit of jazz/funk experience from doing ensembles in high school and college.

          The point of hardcore is to be primitive, rage-filled, and cathartic (wimpy garbage like A Day to Remember excluded), and hating on the entire genre for being “simplistic” is completely missing the point. I like plenty of complex stuff too (Intronaut, Atheist, 70′s prog), but 99% of “technical” heavy music is only interesting when analyzed academically, and I’ll gladly take Weekend Nachos over bland unemotive shit like Animals As Leaders any day.

          • BlameHoffman

            It’s knucklehead shit but it’s not even good.

          • w0nt0ns00p

            If any member of Weekend Nachos could play a single bar of an Animals As Leaders song I’d be more than surprised. You don’t have to like him, but Tosin Abasi knows more about the guitar and how to articulate his notes and feelings than most people could begin to wish for.

    • bob

      He wasn’t complaining about triggers, he’s bitching about limp wristed TAPPERS. Yes, his band sucks ass, but judging by your reply you are exactly who he’s talking about. A ‘musician’ more concerned with having everything perfect. meanwhile everything that is passionate and human about your music suffers. You can have triggers, but you should still HIT your fucking drums.

      • Bonekeg

        fair enough. I play drums and I generally murder my kit but I’m also incapable of doing double kick blast beats, I know some tech metal guys that just simply could not hang for an entire set at the pace they drum if they had to hammer every kick hit in super hard. I suppose mic position could be taken into account here as well, it really seems like a shit complaint, I personally wouldn’t sacrifice accuracy for hard hitting.

        • bob

          I suppose it comes down to what the individual finds appealing in music. I, for one, will take honest, passionate music, mistakes and all, over clinical exercises in technicality any day of the week. Any ‘tech’ band that can’t play their parts while still hitting hard should really reconsider their music.

          • w0nt0ns00p

            That’s like saying “my favorite sports team plays like a sack full of shit, but they won so I dont care lol yolo”. People just try to justify being too impatient to learn the rudiments.

      • Bonekeg

        fair enough. I play drums and I generally murder my kit but I’m also incapable of doing double kick blast beats, I know some tech metal guys that just simply could not hang for an entire set at the pace they drum if they had to hammer every kick hit in super hard. I suppose mic position could be taken into account here as well, it really seems like a shit complaint, I personally wouldn’t sacrifice accuracy for hard hitting.

      • Bonekeg

        fair enough. I play drums and I generally murder my kit but I’m also incapable of doing double kick blast beats, I know some tech metal guys that just simply could not hang for an entire set at the pace they drum if they had to hammer every kick hit in super hard. I suppose mic position could be taken into account here as well, it really seems like a shit complaint, I personally wouldn’t sacrifice accuracy for hard hitting.

      • cockmouth

        That moment when sound quality should matter to a band so they can give the fans the best experience possible.,……

      • cockmouth

        That moment when sound quality should matter to a band so they can give the fans the best experience possible.,……

        • bob

          I’m willing to bet that at least 80% of fans will prefer an honest, hard hitting live band over plastic sounding robotic musicians any day. Those that don’t prefer that tend to be over analytical music dorks that can’t just -listen- to music without over analyzing everything. I don’t look for innovation and technical prowess in my metal… I just look for good songs. Because ultimately, that’s what people will remember your band years down the road for… not how well you can sweep pick or make your drums sound like wimpy tic tacs .

          I have tons of friends that are really phenomenal guitarists and can do all kinds of impressive shit on the instrument, but you know what ? Not a single one of them could write a memorable song if a gun was on their head. Music should be an emotional experience, not a calculus exercise.

      • cockmouth

        That moment when sound quality should matter to a band so they can give the fans the best experience possible.,……

      • Trenton

        I hardly see the Issue with wanting your music to sound…precise…Instead of sounding like a pissed of faggot beating it out on the drums. As someone who plays the drums, I’d say that is fucking ignorant. Its cool to beat the shit out of the drums sometimes when you get in that mood, but the main objective is getting the best overall sound. How can that even be debatable?

    • triggersR4pussies

      Open E for 3 and a half minutes? You’ve clearly never listened to them, seeing as barely any of their songs even reach the 2 minute mark. You pussy hahaha eat a dick and have fun boring people to death with your shitty music. PS look ma, I can be a shitty pseudo-macho keyboard warrior too! Get over yourself, or get someone to publish your opinions rather than trying to bear your pussy of a soul in the comments section of a revolver mag article hahaha you suck, bitch!

      • Bonekeg

        Sorry I guess I gave them more credit then then they are due. Let me remedy that. Please go back to playing 3 to 4 chords and screaming non sense for 2 minutes or less. are you happy now? also what teh fuck is a keyboard warrior? and my music is shitty? what band am in huh?

        • Bonekeg is a fag

          The appreciation of hardcore doesn’t come from the complexity of their writing, it comes from the energy of a live show. theres nothing quite like it, especially when you see weekend nachos. Also WN has some pretty intense drumming, his point is still valid.

          • w0nt0ns00p

            That is completely subjective – that’s your opinion and nothing more. Who the fuck are you to tell me how I am supposed to appreciate something? I like hardcore because of how it sounds, not cuz of the tiny room full of sweaty dicks pulling speakers off the walls. If I wanted that I’d just go to jail. Your opinions are not factual.

      • BlameHoffman

        They are the Throwdown of powerviolence, they’re not even amusing or fun to listen to. You suck wholesale at being a keyboard warrior.

    • triggersR4pussies

      Open E for 3 and a half minutes? You’ve clearly never listened to them, seeing as barely any of their songs even reach the 2 minute mark. You pussy hahaha eat a dick and have fun boring people to death with your shitty music. PS look ma, I can be a shitty pseudo-macho keyboard warrior too! Get over yourself, or get someone to publish your opinions rather than trying to bear your pussy of a soul in the comments section of a revolver mag article hahaha you suck, bitch!

    • triggersR4pussies

      Open E for 3 and a half minutes? You’ve clearly never listened to them, seeing as barely any of their songs even reach the 2 minute mark. You pussy hahaha eat a dick and have fun boring people to death with your shitty music. PS look ma, I can be a shitty pseudo-macho keyboard warrior too! Get over yourself, or get someone to publish your opinions rather than trying to bear your pussy of a soul in the comments section of a revolver mag article hahaha you suck, bitch!

  • crotchduster69

    Weekend Nachos are easily the heaviest band I’ve heard as well as the most intense almost frightening live shows I’ve ever seen. People tore the speakers off the fucking walls and nearly shut the show down. So until your band makes people react that way, you have no room to talk. And yes, they have “Nachos” in their name to reiterate how stupid it is to try to sound evil or cool with a band name. They rule, you don’t, get over it – “death to a planet filled with pussies like you brings a smile to this fucking face.”

    • fuk

      so a bunch of fags with a chip on their shoulder tore apart a venue.

      call me when they start burning churches. bands have been doing worse shit for years now. fuck the hardcore image. You all are lame ass posers

      • crotchduster69

        Black metal is for pussies. But more importantly, you specifically are a bitch ass pussy who knows nothing about metal or hardcore. You don’t know shit, you can’t play music for shit, you probably got molested by a priest which is why you love church burning bands so much. Also, this was at a metal show so it wasn’t hardcore kids by any means. Ever hear of Maryland Death fest you fucking pussy? Yeah I thought not. Eat a dick faggot.

        • fucker

          DIS SHIT GETTIN HEATED!! yeeeaaa boiii. I love Weekend Nachos but I hate blogs and comments. Let’s be honest though,iI’m a huge metal fan but I like a lot of hardcore too. All I gotta say is at least hardcore fans talk shit about metal to metal fans faces. If metal kids did the same there would be a lot less animosity between the genres. But they’re too scared to. Really evil, guys, you’ve let bros in snapbacks turn you into punching bags. Not metal at all.

    • BlameHoffman

      Oh damn that’s us “haters” told then, fuck off back to Bridge nine, flatbill.

  • Dorrito

    Id like to point out how everybody is just bitching about hardcore music. Just because he enphesized hardcore doesnt mean that this was aimed towards hardcore. Its aimed towards your music scene you fucking retards

    • Bonekeg

      no its not because only a guy in a hardcore would put emphasis on practices like these since you know hardcore bands are so fucking hardcore about their scene and their music and the conviction of their craft…dont take it too seriously though poser.

    • faggot

      When my music scene consists of more than little teen fags with teen angst making shit music, I will reconsider what you are saying.

  • genghisgrind420

    2 and 3 I can agree with, but the rest seems like a bunch of petty whining and bitching about shit he personally doesn’t like that hardly pertains to someone’s genuine admiration for music. And to be honest, the way he words his argument, he comes off like some elitist poser himself.

    Sucks, because I like Weekend Nachos a lot. It just seems like the a lot of the hardcore scene is plagued with a bunch of overcompensating tough guys who take themselves way too seriously.

  • genghisgrind420

    2 and 3 I can agree with, but the rest seems like a bunch of petty whining and bitching about shit he personally doesn’t like that hardly pertains to someone’s genuine admiration for music. And to be honest, the way he words his argument, he comes off like some elitist poser himself.

    Sucks, because I like Weekend Nachos a lot. It just seems like the a lot of the hardcore scene is plagued with a bunch of overcompensating tough guys who take themselves way too seriously.

  • genghisgrind420

    2 and 3 I can agree with, but the rest seems like a bunch of petty whining and bitching about shit he personally doesn’t like that hardly pertains to someone’s genuine admiration for music. And to be honest, the way he words his argument, he comes off like some elitist poser himself.

    Sucks, because I like Weekend Nachos a lot. It just seems like the a lot of the hardcore scene is plagued with a bunch of overcompensating tough guys who take themselves way too seriously.

  • Kevin Michael West

    This comment section. You all suck. The end.

  • Nicholas David Brewer

    hardcore music is simply a poor mans “Limp Bizkit” tribute genre.

    • George Post

      Limp Bizkit and “nu-metal’ always sounded to me like an alternative rock version of and a poor man’s hardcore.

    • Farris Brewer Gofuckyourself

      Poor alternatives are a hardcore biscuit’s man… wait, what the fuck
      are you morons even talking about? Who gives a shit about Limp Bizkit… or genres? Do you write for SPIN or something?
      Go slit your throat with a rusty can lid!

  • gold

    i have seen a gig where the hardcore band “rise and fall” was playing and i nearly shat myself laughing about them. they pretty much fulfilled all of those points.

    • missigsfan

      Damn, really? Rise and Fall is sweet.

      • gold

        might be, but their stage behavior was ridiculous. they took themselves serious beyond belief. the singer did kinda like 80s metal band introduction speeches, which was the worst part. he was grunting & screaming into the mic before every song in the most insane manner, trying to look mean. after 2 songs i started mocking that behaviour to a friend of mine. funniest coincidence: at one point i did said mocking by grunting at her “AND THE NEXT SONG IS ABOUT THE HAAATE FOR THE HAATED” and guess what, second later i heard through the PA “AAAAND THE NEXT SOOOONG IS ABOUT THE HAAAATE FOR ..”. i can’t remember more, but it obviously did not continue with “THE HATED”, but nevertheless it was insanely funny. xD

    • w0nt0ns00p

      Don’t care. Their music makes my ears and brain feel good. They could suck nazi dick in their free time and I still wouldn’t care. Music is music, if you wanna make it more than that knock yourselves out.

  • SOMVNYWVYS

    For real tho why haven’t you legally changed your name to John Nacho yet? 69th comment you’re welcome.

  • BlameHoffman

    This guy dare discuss someone being a dork? Has he looked at himself lately? Worst band name ever and shitty Spazz/Infest rip off you ain’t foolin’ anyone. Your music is throwaway and childish, not even fun. Now if you’ll excuse me I am off to listen to Gasp & Society of friends *namedrops like a pro*

    • Baconcheese burger

      fuck off retard and get taste

      • BlameHoffman

        I have it, that’s why I dislike Weekend nachos, seriously Zimmer’s fucking hole is better than this turd.

        • Baconcheese burger

          Zimmer’s hole is horrible, enough with the shitty music.

    • Pist

      Thank you, couldn’t agree more. Throwdown is such a good comparison too. WN makes me cringe, not because they’re brutal either. Friend set me this link. Pretty funny stuff. “If it’s not punk, it’s not hardcore.”

  • Kris

    Yo. People still say poser? In 2013?

    • George Post

      People say “Right on” in 2013 after it got resurrected from its death in the early ’70s. Also the word “yo” hasn’t been cool for a good part of the 2000s.

      • Kris

        Oh, but I suppose ‘Yo’ doesn’t carry the connotation of an angsty middle-school student.

        • GTFO

          Nah, it carries the connotation of a pitiful white suburban dimwit trying to impress his frat brothers by copping archaic references from late 80s acts on YO! MTV Raps, that were vapid, empty, and completely manufactured even back then, when most of us were angsty middle-schoolers. But not you, you were a sperm cell, ‘keepin it realz, in my pop’s sack, dawwg! Wesssss siiiiiieee!’

  • notacoplover

    6. Write lyrics that support the horrible plight that cops receive. And do so without, seemingly, having the vaguest clue the amount of fundamental and inherent oppression that is spawned from supported a systematic authoritative force that is given the monopoly of violence. Cop loving is not part of extreme music.

    Also the imagery of Slayer is not cool, a fucking swatizka is not cool. Jesus christ. Put aside the whole “LOL POSER” mentality being sophomoric at best. This is insulting.

    No, yeah being loud is way more important.

    • whostillreadsrevolver?

      Slayer haven’t used swastikas in their art, as far as I know. He’s also very likely referencing the satanic and generic ww2 imagery in slayer, so maybe be a little more careful before setting up and obvious straw man.

      • notacoplover

        they use the iron cross, sorry it was the other fascist German force! but, cool. still fucked up still cop lovers.

    • sht

      “monopoly of violence” What the fuck does that even mean? That cops own all of the violence? Let me rephrase what you just said in layman’s terms. “that is given the complete control on every act of violence ever taken place ever now”

    • Professor Poopballs

      Durp, me not know what symbol is, or even what called. But… no like symbol! No like symbol at all! Me use mouthful-words like “fundamental and inherent oppression” (WOWIE!) and “systematic authoritative force” (MY LITERARY STUDIES PROF DROPPED THAT IN A LECTURE AND I WAS ABSOLUTELY STUMPED!–COULD YOU PLEASE ELABORATE, MR. PLOVER??)

      But… me really idiot who no even know what swatizikra mean.

      Sophomoric at best! You deserve a Super-über Straight A+ Gifted & Talented Student Award! Congratulations, son!

      “Monopoly of violence”… haha, you must be the biggest fucking idiot you know, how does it feel? Did you even think before you wrote that? The “other fascist German force,” huh? And exactly which one would that be, Herr Genius? Talk about a fucking poser–do you think you are impressing anybody by spouting RATM lyrics at us? Now granted, a *swastika* represents some pretty horrendous shit, but you wouldn’t know that, because you have no fucking clue what you are talking about.

      Jesus Christ! Hahaha, fucking tool.

      • handsomedan

        how about you actually disprove his points instead of acting like a 7 year old fat kid whose parents are too eager to please him

  • chompskyhomp

    >Signed to Relapse Records
    >Talks shit about “posers”

    That’s kind of the pot calling the kettle black, don’t ya think?

    • missigsfan

      What’s wrong with Relapse?

      • zeknir

        relapse is the fucking shit
        >compskyhomp talks shit about relapse
        >obviously doesn’t know anything about what he’s talking about

    • Shitler

      hahaha look at the children, WOTS WRONG WIF RELAPSE DURRRRR. Their manufactured edge and direct marketing to edgy little faggots such as myself is trve as fvck

  • FAT GAY RAX

    what a fuckin nerdario

  • glossy band photo

    for one… this dude CLEARLY doesnt know what the word “glossy” means. for another, why would this dude be any sort of authority on what makes someone a poser. like this dude is the most original musician on the planet, and everything he does is the first time anyones ever done it ever. seems the dude is butthurt on any band thats bigger than them… which id say many local non-touring bands probably are.

    • BMfM

      The fact that you mention him being butthurt by “bigger” bands makes you a poser. If you don’t get it, get out of the scene. Hardcore was never meant to make money. Period. It ruins the integrity and rage behind the music. Any argument against that concept is just a clear example at how much you don’t understand about the very real values and traditions of the hardcore music genre. If you don’t understand, either educate yourself or fuck off, cause nobody who’s put in over a decade agrees with you. Hardcore is the heartbeat of revolt.

      • BlameHoffman

        You have to be fucking 18 years old.

      • w0nt0ns00p

        I never applied to join a ‘scene’ when my brain decided it liked the sound of Weekend Nachos. Fact: I can still enjoy how it sounds while thinking the members, fans and culture are a giant crock of shit, and there is absolutely nothing your tough internet muscles can do about it.

  • Brahskolnikov

    There are way too many people taking this way too seriously.

  • LoveAntonioMarquez

    Dude loves Lasagna…………

  • Croms Fist

    SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

  • croms fist

    I think this band is the greatest.

  • No_Limit_Nigga187

    Hoffman aint about that life thats why they only play on the eastside poser ass niggas

  • sht

    AHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

  • TheWoundedGalaxies

    lol waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many people taking this seriously

  • commentor

    do people seriously read comments? of comments?

  • packed meat surprise

    i am doing a vvery good read of this…

  • CappyM

    JOHN FUCKING CAUTION!!!!!

  • i’m gay

    Anyone who posts anything on the internet is a poser…. even the guy who wrote this article, all of you people here, me included…FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU!

  • Rosario Lopez

    Point 1 is freaking ridiculous. Not only there is nothing wrong about having a promo shot taken with good quality by a proffesional photographer (that therefore you’ll have to pay), but its NECESSARY if you want to have material to hand over for magazines etc. Not only poser bands get to be interviewed for magazines, you know… If youre extremely good its most likely you will get there at some point. And what will you add to the interview then, a driving license photo of each member of the band? I mean, come on.

    The rest of the article is spot on, though ;)

    • handsomedan

      everything is wrong with having a promo shot. everything.

    • NOGLOSSYSHOTSEVER

      Live action shots or die.

    • rulesXorder

      Clearly she’s just salty because she likes to take pictures of shitty hardcore dudes.

  • Alex Sanchez

    Point #0 You like Weekend Nachos

  • CRASH THE POSE

    Weak-end Nachos are terrible, watered-down, 3rd generation, jock power violence. Their drummer doesn’t have to worry about being a “tapper” since he doesn’t have to play that fast. I thought it was funny that all the little fashionable kids were spin-kicking each other during the WN set at MDF, but when one of the classic bands that originated the style that they so poorly ape, CITIZENS ARREST, played all the little fashion kids stood there with their arms folded. I don’t get the hype. Guess that makes me a “poser”.

  • HARD COREFAN FUCK TH ESYSTEM

    Weekend Nachos cant even fucking hit their drums properly

  • Weekend Nachos Sucks

    FUCK HARDCORE MUSIC YOU’RE ALL SO CLOSED MINDED AND TAKE YOURSELVES WAY TOO SERIOUS!

  • hardcorecansuckit

    omg who cares about this guy

  • How did you even get signed?

    Wow this guy is a douche. Who are you to make rule of what bands should and should not do? I was in a metal/hardcore band for 10 years and did some of the stuff on this ‘list of stuff not to do’. Does that make me a poser? The exact reason I’m not in a band anymore is because the ‘scene’ is full of guys like this. Who are you to tell anyone the way things should be? What a complete tool.

  • Guest

    THIS DUDE IS A IGNORANT POSER AT ITS FINEST!!!!!!!!!! HIS REASONS ARE A CROCK OF SHIT FUCK YOU -HARDCORE VET (WHO BARELY GOES TO SHOWS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF FAGS LIKE THIS)

  • therealplaya22

    THIS DUDE IS A IGNORANT POSER AT ITS FINEST!!!!!!!!!! HIS REASONS ARE A CROCK OF SHIT FUCK YOU -HARDCORE VET (WHO BARELY GOES TO SHOWS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF DUMB ASS IDIOTS LIKE THIS)

  • Brian

    I love how many people are actually taking this article seriously.

  • Momma Hoff

    Ok, I am the kind of poser who reads comments and these negative ones were Almost as funny as the article. Everyone of your negative comments just reinforced YOU ARE A HUGE POSER!!!!!! Anyone that can write proper English in a comment, understands that John knows what he’s talking about and you guys who take life so literally and hostilely, do not. In fact, you make this genre have to fight even harder to explain to your dumb ass parents why this can help your kids. John has been around a long time so, if you really knew hardcore, you would ironically (if you know what that word means) understand how right on and brilliant John, the whole WN family is and how much they love to do what they do for YOU!!!!

  • w0nt0ns00p

    I love listening to Weekend Nachos, but I wouldn’t pay SHIT to see them live, and I certainly don’t give a fuck about meeting them or seeing them “hang out” before their set.

    • ed booty balls

      poser

      • w0nt0ns00p

        Ok cool, I’m a poser then cuz I like to listen to music and don’t have a craving to watch it live? If that’s the case I fucking love being a poser.

  • w0nt0ns00p

    This dude’s a shitty vocalist, who cares what he thinks? Go listen to Magrudergrind or Pig Destroyer or Converge then punch yourself in the dick because you will never ever ever be as good as any of them.

    • alexandriafangrindcore93dota2

      ^poser detected

  • Andrew Ryan Snyder

    you guys are all retarded, if you dont like weekend nachos dont listen to them… is that so hard? At least they’re actually doing something in the underground scene. they play house shows and small venues, they definitely dont take themselves too seriously like most of these straight edge or die hardcore bands nowadays. Shut up and enjoy hardcore, these people are just trying to make a living. I’m sure half of you motherfuckers are doing the same thing, but at mcdonalds, not traveling the world with your friends having fun doing what you love.

  • MinceCoreMofo

    Just because someone doesn’t jump around and act like an idiot at a show doesn’t make them a poser. I think you are wrong to pass judgment, that isn’t the Grindcore way.

  • matt rolland

    why is no one writing that the top of this list should be that you write for revolver?