LIVE REPORT: IN FLAMES, GOJIRA, AND 36 CRAZYFISTS AT TERMINAL 5, DEC. 7, 2008

By editorial intern Chris Krovatin

This past Sunday night, December 7, I trudged over to New York City’s Terminal 5 to see the In Flames/Gojira/36 Crazyfists show. It was a crazy, alcohol-fueled time (for more on the subject of alcohol, see my last Final Six blog), so here, in brief, is what I actually remember about this concert.

Club security: Unused to metalheads.

Alcohol consumed: Four beers and a whiskey.

Total price of drinks: $35. It was a mugging.

Most confusing situation: Terminal 5 itself. Very polished, very strobe-light-and-fog-machine. A dance club, not a rock club.

Most hilarious situation: The crowd singing along to “Gangsta’s Paradise” on the PA.

Most awkward situation: Bathroom attendants at a metal show. Do I tip? All he did was dry my hands. I coulda done that. Well, shit.

Best quote overheard in bathroom: “Look at how nice these bathrooms are! I could OD on ecstasy here all night long!”

Reason not to smoke: It’s about two degrees outside.

Holy shit: That bartender in the cowboy hat is the hottest fucking chick I have ever seen. Look, she’s got a whale tail going.

Wow, actually: There are TONS of hot chicks at this show!

Oh, but wait: They’re all here with lame Brooklyn hipsters in neon-colored shoes and baseballs hats featuring brass knuckles on ‘em. Fuck those kids.

Longest wait ever: The 90 minutes before 36 Crazyfists took the stage. Jesus Christ.

Number of crazyfists: 36

Coolest moshpit: 36 Crazyfists with their floor-spanning pit—front to back, side to side, all pit.

Coolest backdrop: 36 Crazyfists, actually, whose backdrop appeared to be a giant skeleton eating a ship, which is the cover of their new record, I guess. It would be cool to get really stoned while staring at that thing.

There’s weed here somewhere: I can smell it, but I can’t see it. Maybe I can find some generous stoner.

Most missed band: All That Remains, who had to drop off the tour.

Did you really miss All That Remains that much: I guess. Not terribly.

Heaviest band in attendance: Gojira.

Heaviest band on planet: See above.

Favorite knowledge to drop on people in attendance: Gojira are French.

You can kinda tell: They always seem a little smarter than you, and they know it.

Best onstage antic: Gojira do this thing where they run around led by their guitar necks, as though their guitars can fly and are dragging them around the stage. It’s weird and awesome.

Favorite Gojira song played: They opened with “Oroborus” and totally nailed it.

Did they do that WURDLAWURDLAWAAA thing at the beginning: Yeah. It was totally sweet. I didn’t know they could play that so easily live.

Band it must be awesome to be in: In Flames.

Best crowd reaction: When In Flames first began playing, there were kids launching themselves into the air like fucking acrobats, going fifteen feet up and flipping mid-air. It was insane to watch.

Sudden recollection of the night: In Flames are pretty fucking sick.

Well, I mean: At least up until Clayman.

Did they play anything from Clayman: Dude, they played a TON of stuff from Clayman.

What about “Trigger”: Yeah, of course they played that. Come on, man.

Favorite comment overheard during In Flames’ set: “HAIL NORWAY!”

Realization of the night: Women will dance sexily to In Flames, and they will make eyes at you over their boyfriends’ shoulders. In Flames is an aphrodisiac.

Number of times In Flames frontman Anders Fridén called the audience pussies: Twice.

Most irritating thing ever: Those damn kids who sit perched against a wall somewhere who then get upset when other people stand in their way and make snarky audible comments to their buddies about it.

Get on your feet, you kids: This is a metal show, dammit.

Coolest onstage effect: For that beginning part of “Cloud Connected,” In Flames had these strobe lights built INTO their backline that flickered with the beat until they just flared up like magnesium when the song kicked in. Gotta give it to In Flames here.

People smiling at the end of In Flames’ set: Everyone.

Number of moms present: Five that I saw.

Best quote from a mom to her metalhead son: “So did you have fun at that damn thing?”