LOVE AND SEX ADVICE FROM REVOLVER’S HOTTEST SEX ADVICE BLOGGER (WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT)

As a proud owner of a vagina and daughter of a gynecologist, I feel more than qualified to offer up honest, raw, and unadulterated advice regarding all things related to sex, the human body, and relationships. So, all you metalhead freaks out there, please email me your most dire, dirty, sick, and twisted questions about women and the way we work, from our emotional hearts to our even more complicated parts. Email me at RevolvHer@gmail.com.

Dear RevolvHer,
First off, I love your column. I have read everything you have written mainly for something interesting to read while at work. But now I have a question for you. My girlfriend is studying abroad this semester. And we have tons of fun when it comes to oral and handjobs, but we are conventional. We don’t do anything out of the ordinary. However, when she comes back we want to try some new things to mix it up. But we don't really know what. We avoid anything anal and are waiting on vaginal until we are engaged. We are going to try out 69 and I have always wanted to try giving her a facial. But what else is there to do in the oral and handjob area?
Thanks,
LoveHerTaste

Dear LoveHerTaste,
I am honored that you have been faithfully following my blog and yet you still don’t want to do your girl in the ass. I’m glad to know that I am not corrupting all the youth. Here’s the thing that I wonder: If you have agreed that you are going to get engaged one day, then you pretty much are engaged. Therefore, get engaged and fuck already! This way you can avoid having to turn to me for handjob tricks. But it is my job to help you, and that I will.

After wondering out loud to my man about why you two kids won’t do vaginal intercourse before being engaged but are looking for something beyond a 69 in the interim, he suggested that I instruct you to try a 71. Evidently this is a 69 with 2 fingers inserted in her asshole. I abruptly informed him of your no anal rule. Still, it might be a good option for the wedding night? But seriously, I suggest that you tittyfuck her, granted that she has fuckable tits. Have her lay on her back and squeeze her boobs together with her hands. Use a little lubricant or spit to get things wet and slip your cock between her tits and go to town.

If tittyfucking is not in the cards, then maybe you could try some stuff that messes with mouth temperature when you go down or when she goes down. Use an ice cube or some cool water on the genitals and then immediately follow with your mouth. The shock of cold water, followed by a warm tongue can make the nerve endings more sensitive. I am not sure if this is fun, as I haven’t tried it, but it is what all the sexperts suggest. Or you could just do some basic stuff like good, clean mutual masturbation or dry humping.

The facial thing you mentioned is also a good option to mix stuff up in the sack. Plus, if you are committed enough to cum on your girls face, then that is a sure sign it is time to get engaged and get in her pussy. I really hope some of this helps you out, granted your girlfriend returns from “abroad” uncorrupted by some hot foreign dude!
xxx
RevolvHer