WEB EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: REVOLVER’S SEX BLOGGER CHATS WITH HANK III ABOUT YOU KNOW WHAT

In order to mix things up a bit in love and sex advice land, I’ve decided to ring up and interview one of the Hot Men in the March 2009 issue of Revolver, Mr. Shelton Hank Williams III. At first glance Hank III seems like a your typical outlaw, rock-and-roll dirt bag. He is covered in tattoos, plays punk rock, metal, and rebel rousing country, and his favorite sport is mud trucking. But not many people have taken the time to ask him his thoughts on women and love. Truth is, Hank is really just a sincere, shy, country boy with no game. Some might say that having no game is his game. All I know is that he might be better at this advice-giving shit than I am! After all, he is busy counseling his own 18-year-old kid when he isn’t rocking all your faces off onstage for three hours a night.

RevolvHER So you’ve been home a few days now. Are you really worn out?
Hank III So-so, it isn’t as bad as it has been in the past. I’m just going through the motions of doing normal things again. It was a good tour, so the energy is still hanging in there for me.

Is it hard for you to transition back into life off the road?
It’s like coming up too quickly from being underwater; if you do it too quick, you’re gonna fuck something up. It always takes me about a week of adjusting to not be tough to be around; I am always a little edgy at first.

Tell me about the new Arson Anthem album that you, Phil Anselmo, and Mike Williams have coming up.
It’s a bit different from the original sound, the same style but a little cleaner sounding. Mike Williams sounds younger. Don’t know what he’s doing differently!

Maybe he’s on some kind of new preservatives?
He’s done pretty well preserving himself thus far!

So tell me Hank, who’s dirtier, the metal groupies or the country groupies?
It depends; most metal genres are a dude-oriented thing. You get maybe 10 chicks to 500 guys at a show. As Rex Brown from Pantera would say, “I’m a little bit jealous, you actually get some girls coming out to your show.” As far as who’s the dirtiest, well, that’s all in the attitude, it’s all about who wants to go there and who doesn’t. I mean country girls are used to riding a little more than rock n’ roll girls are…

Are you pulling more country or metal chicks at your shows these days?
My audience is so diverse, it is hard to say, it’s all over the meter. We get your cowgirls, Latina rockabilly girls, heavy-metal girls in all black, your average office worker lookin’ lady. It’s really all over the spectrum since the ages range from 18 to 80. The good thing about the metal chicks though is, they act like one of the guys; they’re not giggly and stupid, and they’re a little more relaxing to be around.

What’s your opinion on groupies in general?
Sex is supposed to be a natural thing; unfortunately over the years it has gotten more and more unnatural. If it is what someone has their heart set on and makes them feel good, I say go for it. Over the years I’ve noticed that some people take it seriously and some don’t. There are fans out there that come to the shows year after year after year and don’t sleep with anybody. And then there are some who understand that you are giving and giving and giving all the time and just want a lil’ bit of receiving, and they know how to make it work. I’ve never judge people if they want to feel good or be with someone. If I had a chance to be with an idol of mine, I would definitely try to make it happen.

Do you have a female idol you’d groupie out for?
There are all kinds, from the good girls to the bad girls. But in the end, I’m looking or the long-haul relationship.

When it comes to writing music, do you write better going through heartbreak or when you’re in a relationship?
In general I’ve always written better when I’ve been down instead of up. I’ve said it many times: It all comes from the miserable depression, the “you ain't got no money” kind of feeling. That’s where the country singer supposed to be singing from, that’s why I’ve leaned more to that style. Very rarely do I write from a feeling of happiness.

I get a lot of letters from young, socially awkward metal dudes trying to hook up with the popular girls at school, the cheerleaders, etc., and I never know what to tell them. Would you have any advice to offer?
The hotter she is, the more bullshit you’re gonna have to deal with, and if you’re strong enough to deal with all the bullshit and jealousy that comes with going out with hot chicks, then go for it. But if you go for someone who is a little more average and down to earth, you might find your love will stick around a bit longer. I don’t know, on that same topic, just today, I gave my number to a lady who was totally out of my range. She actually said something to me and I was like, “Huh? That was kind of interesting.” So I had to ask her if she was married or in a relationship. And sure enough, she was like, “Yeah, I appreciate you asking, but no thanks.”

How do you feel when that happens?
Well, I seriously don’t do it that often. I’m that same shy motherfucker! I can’t just walk up to someone and say, “Hey baby, what’s going on?” I’ve never had any game when it comes to that. And you know, I mean, shit, today was probably the first time in four or five years that I’ve given my number to someone within two minutes of questioning whether I had a chance or if I should shut the fuck up. I like being straight-up, to-the-point, and honest.

I was going to ask if you always had a way with the ladies or if that came later when you started doing the rock star thing, but you’re telling me now that you’ve never had any game.
I’ve always had that shy, good image thing going on. That’s what I’ve always had to deal with. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never had the aggressive lines. I guess I’m not that good of a bullshit artist.

So Revolver did that story on you and the mud trucking. We’re all wondering if you’ve ever done it in the mud?
Not officially in those kind of mud pits. Just, you know, the closest to that would be when camping in the outdoors, but never in a full on mud pit or even on a fuckin’ beach. Usually when I start wrestlin’ it is a long fight! So the outdoors gets in the way! I’ve always been more of an indoor type. But if it’s a situation where I have to…

When are you going back on the road?
June 16. I’ve gotta wait for my kid to turn 18, then I am heading back out.

You have an 18 year old?
Yeah, with a head full of dreads, and he already loves all kinds of music and is trying to figure out what the fuck he wants to do.

So you’re advising him on stuff?
Well, I’m just being in his corner with what he wants. The only advice I have for him is, if you’re gonna go to school, don’t take too much of a break, ’cause you might get into too much of a habit of not showing up again.

That is good advice for life, right?
Yeah, I hear ya!