“I’ve been a huge hard-rock/heavy-metal fan for most of my life and never get tired of going to see my favorite bands over and over again,” Gass says. “Over the years, I think it becomes obvious to a lot of us that part of the fun of going to see certain bands is the entertainment that you’ll get out of it in between songs when the singer of the band starts to talk. Whether it’s David Lee Roth’s insane arrogance or Dave Mustaine’s bizarre politics, there are some shows you can’t wait to see for the real moments in between.

“I love sharing these stories with my comedian buddies and hearing the stories they like to add, but here are my Top Five Funniest Hard-Rock Concert Moments. Keep in mind, most of these were unintentionally funny…”

5) PANTERA
“I’ve seen Pantera easily about 20 times. They’re one of the most powerful bands of all time, but Phil Anselmo adds a tone of comedy to every show. He’s always angry about something, and he always says it with limited words.

“Pantera was on Ozzfest 2000, and I saw a couple of those shows, including one at the venue outside of Boston that was then known as The Tweeter Center. In between songs, AND I’M QUOTING, Phil Anselmo actually said, very slowly, ‘HEY…. Motherfuckers…. Check it out…. You go home tonight…. And you tell your friends who fuckin’ missed out on Ozzfest….. You tell them… HEY…… ….. …. You fuckin’… You missed out….. (At this point, you could see that Phil realized that he had repeated himself, and added)….. And you’re stupid.’ And then he hocked up some saliva and spit on the ground.

“Keep in mind, I was in the 18teenth row for this show, and I saw SEVENTEEN ROWS of people in front of me turning to each other and smiling, as if to say, ‘That was fucking HILARIOUS.’

4)  MÖTLEY CRÜE
“Vince Neil is a mess. Even when I saw Mötley opening the Bark at the Moon tour for Ozzy back in 1984, I noticed that Vince didn’t seem to remember all the lyrics to Mötley’s songs. Add to that, the occasional show where he’s completely hammered, and you’ve got a funnier show than ANYTHING going on at The Comedy Store that night.

“This was at The Key Club in 2005, I wanna say, and Vince was HAMMERED. A show that was highlighted with Vince falling off the stage (here’s the fucked up thing… We weren’t even looking at the stage during the incident, and we HEARD Vince fall) and this amazing on stage moment:

“Vince had taken a long time in between songs to grab another drink, came back out and said, ‘OK, everybody, how about we do a little bit of LIVEWIRE FOR YOU RIGHT N–WHAT (his guitar player was whispering in his ear)? Oh, we already played that? OK…. What else have we got?’

“I love that guy.”

3) DOKKEN
“In 2002, there was a tour of ’80s bands featuring Dokken, Warrant, Ratt, and a few others. I know that it’s a cooler move to dismiss these bands than it is to give them any credit, and if you’re one of those people, you really are an idiot, because you miss out on moments like the one I witnessed at The Celebrity Theater in Phoenix.

“Warrant was onstage performing, and in the middle of their set, a dude came climbing on to the stage and walked right into the middle of the band while they were playing. Was it a drunk audience member? No. It was Don Dokkem, who grabbed one of the microphones and started yelling at the band for going over their allotted time! He actually lectured Warrant onstage, and demanded that they ‘Play some “Cherry Pie” and get the fuck off the stage,’ threw the microphone in the air, and stormed off the stage.

“Mike Fasano, the drummer for Warrant at the time, grabbed the microphone when it landed and said, ‘How about a hand for the amazing Don Dokken, everybody’ to the boos of the audience.

“You always hear about bands not getting along on tour, but how often to you get to buy a ticket to watch it happen live?”

2) KISS
“OK, this one I have to admit is intentionally funny by the band, and me makes me immediately respect Paul Stanley.

“The band was on a really long tour with Ted Nugent and Skid Row, and the guys in Skid Row did a thing every night that the audience was never aware of, where they would dare Paul Stanley to incorporate some really silly word or stupid phrase into his onstage banter.

“In Raleigh, North Carolina, they tell Paul, ‘You need to somehow incorporate the words, “Diaper Fight” into your onstage banter tonight.’

“Nobody in the crowd in Raleigh was aware of this, obviously. All I know is that I’m watching KISS perform, and about three or four songs in, the crowd is going nuts, and I’m not sure that I’m hearing it right, but I think I just heard Paul Stanley say, ‘All right people, settle down, settle down…. Let’s not get all worked up here and turn this into a Diaper Fight…’

“WTF?

“I found out the story behind it later, and thought, That’s just cool.”

1) Without question: LOUDNESS
“Opening the Theater of Pain tour for Mötley, I saw this show at The TCC in Tucson and at The Compton Terrace outside of Phoenix. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard the singer of a Japanese heavy-metal band yell out, ‘ARE YOU LEDDY TO LOCK N LOLL, MUDDA FUCKAS?’ followed by waves and waves of laughter from drunk teenagers.”

By James Wood

After tracking songs for what was once to become a new Lynch Mob album, drummer Brian Tichy proposed the idea of bringing together George Lynch, Jeff Pilson and Mick Brown (the “Big Three” of Dokken) for a project similar to what Heaven & Hell was to Black Sabbath.

The result is T&N, and a new album, Slave to the Empire.

The album is packed with melodic, thought-provoking music that captures the spirit and magic of the classic metal genre. Featuring seven original songs (with Pilson on vocals) as well as five re-recorded Dokken classics with vocal performances by Tim “Ripper” Owens, Doug Pinnick (Kings X), Sebastian Bach and Robert Mason (Warrant), Slave to the Empire also adds to the mix the hard-hitting, multi-talented drumming of Brian Tichy.

A second album of new material and classic Dokken songs is slated for next year that will also coincide with a tour.

I spoke with Lynch to get his thoughts on Slave to the Empire as well as his other passion: the documentary Shadow Train.

REVOLVER: What’s the genesis of the T&N project?

Initially, Jeff [futureusgalleryPilson] and I were writing for what we thought would be the new Lynch Mob record, but it turned out not to be a “Lynch Mob” kind of album. Instead, we decided to turn lemons into lemonade and do our own record. One of things we wanted to do was make a concerted effort to make the connection between our Dokken legacy and our newer writing efforts by combining classic Dokken songs alongside our newer compositions.

Was there ever thought given to an all original Dokken reunion?

There’s always been talk of it, but it went nowhere, obviously.

What was it like revisiting the Dokken material again?

It was a little surreal recording those songs again with the same guys. It was also a lot of fun. We were so comfortable with the material, having all been playing it on and off for years. We felt that we could liven the music up and bring new life to it.

How do you come up with your riffs?

I can’t really say how it works. I think that after listening to all of the music I grew up with, a creative synthesis occurs and something just flows through me. As long as I’ve got a good sound, I just plug-in and with the magic of the studio, inspiration hits. It’s an adventure. The thing is, you never know what’s going to happen when you plug-in and get together with a group of guys and start creating.

Does Slave to the Empire have a message?

Absolutely. The whole record’s a message. On the surface, people might say that it’s a political one, but I prefer to call it an exploration into truth and human nature. That’s really the job of the arts and music specifically; to convey a message beyond what the music might imply. Historically, that’s how it was done in the past, especially during the late ’60s and early ’70s. Rock and roll music was a catalyst and vehicle for change and we felt the need to take up that torch and continue to do that as best we can.

Are there plans to tour with T&N?

We’re not going to tour together as a band most likely until next fall, upon the release of the second record. The next record is about half done. All of the Dokken material has been recorded. We just have to finish writing the new original material.

What Dokken songs can fans expect on the next album?

Songs like “When Heaven Comes Down,” “Til The Livin’ End” and “Just Got Lucky.” “Just Got Lucky” actually ended up being insane. The latest plan is to have Sass Jordan, a wonderful Canadian female vocalist, singing it. She has a very soulful and gritty voice. It’s just beautiful. A wonderful rendition of the song.

Have you ever considered writing a book about your life and experiences?

I’m not really a big fan of the rock biography. I think they’re more self-indulgent and full of a lot of self-congratulatory stuff. Throwing a bunch of people under the bus and throwing a lot of dirt out there. I’m more consumed with the work at hand and moving on. Affecting change through music. The music actually serves the same purpose as the book. I get to tell stories in the context of the song.

What other projects are you working on?

Right now, I’m working on a record with the drummer from Korn [futureusgalleryRay Luzier] and the singer from Kings X [futureusgalleryDoug Pinnick]. A still-unnamed project, but we’ve started writing and will be working on that through the middle of December.

The other thing that consumes most of my time is my movie project (and band) called Shadow Train. We’re doing a lot of filming, playing and working on a soundtrack/record. The film deals with a lot of political and human nature issues and history. I’m working with a lot of really great people, including Mark McLaughlin (a producer from PBS and The Documentary Channel) and Vincent Nicastro, who made another Native American themed documentary called The Blue-Eyed Indian. There are a lot of guests on it: street poets, political thinkers and speakers. People from the native community including medicine men and shamans. It’s a powerful, nerve hitting film. We’re all driven by passion.

Is there a tentative release date for the film?

We’re hoping fall 2013, but that might be wishful thinking. Making a film is much more difficult than making a record, which is difficult enough. [futureusgallerylaughs]

This year marks the 25th anniversary of the Dokken hit “Dream Warriors” from Nightmare on Elm Street. How did that song come about?

It’s kind of interesting that you ask me about that because I was actually just over Jeff’s last week doing some T&N photo shoots and interviews for Japan. We were in his studio and he had the original recording machine that we used to track that song. It was an old Akai Beta Recorder; an obsolete machine that’s just a monster. Jeff still has it. It was interesting to see that again because I do remember the process of writing and recording that song and it took me back.

We were commissioned to write the song specifically for the film. Jeff and I were familiar with the first movie and already had an idea of what we were writing. We knew the name of the song and the premise and concept of the movie. We just fed off of that.
It’s a beautiful moment whenever Jeff, Mick and I get together.

Keep up with T&N at slavetotheempire.com. Visit the official Shadow Train website at shadowtrain.com.

James Wood is a writer, musician and self-proclaimed metalhead who maintains his own website, GoJimmyGo.net. His articles and interviews are written on a variety of topics with passion and humor. You can follow him on Twitter @JimEWood.

T&N–the new band featuring “The Big Three” of Dokken, George Lynch, Jeff Pilson, and “Wild” Mick Brown–will release their album, Slave to Empire, on October 31. The record offers seven new original songs and five re-recorded classic Dokken songs boasting vocal performances by Tim “Ripper” Owens, Doug Pinnick (Kings X), Sebastian Bach, and Robert Mason (Warrant). In anticipation, the band is premiering the title track from the album right here right now. Check it out below. For more on the group and the record, visit SlaveToTheEmpire.com.