Chris Krovatin is the author of the young-adult novels Heavy Metal & You and Venomous, as well as Revolvermag.com's “Final Six” blog. The latter book was the inspiration for Deadlocke, a one-shot published by Dark Horse Comics.

On Saturday, I went to a night of classic thrash and extreme metal headlined by Kreator with support from Voivod, Nachtmystium, Evile, and Lazarus A.D. Here’s what happened:

General observation of Nokia Theatre: Man, this place would do better with fewer flashing lights and more draft beers.

Awesome sight: Kreator’s name in 10-feet-tall lights over Times Square.

Last time I saw Kreator: L’Amours, with Destruction on the Hell Comes to Your Town tour. Was that 2001? 2002? I had to leave midway through “People of the Lie” or else I wouldn’t make curfew.

Number of patched-up denim vests sighted before even entering the venue: Seven.

Number of patched-up denim vests sighted upon entrance: 40,000,000.

Number of back patches viewed that featured mutants fleeing from a mushroom cloud: Six.

Favorite obscure back patches: Mantas, Pagan Altar, Y&T, and a tiger-print Overkill patch.

First band of the night: Wisconsin’s Lazarus A.D.

Thoughts: Sure, OK. No, I get it, and you guys do it well. Sure. These riffs do sound big and angry, and you play them well. Sure.

Most interesting piece of band merch available: Kreator belt buckles.

There’s not enough cool merch: All I want’s a small embroidered Endless Pain patch, and you’re offering me a $25 belt buckle? Or a $50 Voivod art book?

Point of merch knowledge to be remembered: You could get a thrash-hungry metalhead to buy a lump of dog shit if it had the cover of Endless Pain ironed onto it.

Next onstage: Evile from England.

Crowd reaction: Kids are dancing like crazy for these motherfuckers.

Best song intro by Evile frontman Matt Drake: “Are you ready for some heaviness? Some real dirty heaviness?!”

Next song: “Bathe in Blood.”

Necks: Wrecked.

Alcoholic budget tip: When purchasing concert booze, go for the Guinness tall-boy. Sure, it’s heavy and black instead of yellow and refreshing, but there’s more beer for your buck that way, and the bartenders respect it.

Now we have: Chicago’s Nachtmystium.

Name your poison: Psychedelic black metal rancor with a Floydian twist.

Frostbitten fun fact: Nachtmystium’s Assassins: Black Meddle pt. 1 was my Best Album of 2008.

Overall opinion: Definitely awesome, but they were better when they opened for Marduk.

To be expected, I guess: They had a longer set, and were playing to a crowd they knew a bit better.

My two cents: Don’t play “Ghosts of Grace” and “Life of Fire” back to back. They sound very alike, and it’s weird.

Two left: Next up, Voivod.

Personal confession: Hard as I’ve tried, I’ve never really given a shit about Voivod.

Performance thoughts: They’re…OK. Definitely focusing more on their first two albums, which are famous for being thrash throwaways. Frontman Snake is not the best dancer.

It’s the crowd: This group doesn’t want 10-minute space-jams, they want to thrash until they’re sore.

Best song played: “The Unknown Knows” from Nothingface.

Random thought: Man, Voivod songs would sound so much better if performed by Devin Townsend.

Even more random thought: As a young Canadian, did Townsend look up to the boys in Voivod as Maple Leafs who’d made it big in metal? Did he lie awake at night, clutching his copy of RRROOOAAARRR, and wonder?

And finally: Kreator, auf Deutschland.

Everyone against everyone: CHAOS.

Holy Jesus: This place filled up quick. Who knew that everyone and their mother loves Kreator this much?

Awesome backdrop: Kreator’s Demon Brain creature as the statue of liberty with pointy Capitol Building tits. Classic.

Best Kreator jams: “Endless Pain,” “Pleasure To Kill,” and the oft-overlooked “Servant in Heaven, King in Hell.”

Favorite crowd banter: “PLAY ‘BETRAYER,’ PLEASE.”

Favorite stage banter from Kreator frontman Mille Petrozza: “I want you to scream the word ‘HATE’! Louder! Scream ‘HATE’ for Kreator! SCREAM ‘HATE’ FOR KREATOR!”

Number of fliers received post-show: Six.

Closing thoughts: Oh man, if that was that nasty, the Overkill is going to be absolutely disgusting.