Today is: Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Where I am: Somewhere in the U.S.A., cross-country drive home
Where I am actually: keeping my brother Chris (who also is our driver) company in the front of the bus.
Time of day: 11:32 a.m.
What I am listening to: “The Ocean” by Mae

The summer is drawing near its end. The days are getting slightly shorter, though it is hard to even notice. The nights are getting a little cooler, at least where I live on the East Coast. If you go to school in the fall, your mind is no doubt drifting back to what the heck you want to do with your life once you escape the shackles of seven periods a day with a short, crappy lunch sandwiched in the middle. If you spent the summer away from home you are either happy or sad or both, that your summer lovin’ is about to discover its untimely conclusion. If your summer found you doing something you love with people that you love then you are no doubt going to close your eyes and relive the memory over and over again. I closed my eyes a lot on the long drive home, not to sleep, but to remember. What a summer. What a tour. What a good time I have had sharing my experiences and my thoughts with each one of you throughout the whole process. To pay my thanks for the joy you all have brought me by joining me here at revolvermag.com, I made sure I had my camera with me the whole way home. Don’t get me wrong, I could go on and on for pages about the amazing summer that I had and the travels I experienced to get home; but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. Allow me to close my eyes…

One Final Question:

What was the coolest thing you did or saw this summer? And Warped Tour does not count.

One Final Song Quote:

“Clap your hands and lift your hoof, and I’ll try to like horses.” – “Panda” by Mew (the line is a bit abstract, but if you hear the way he sings it, you will absolutely melt)

We have reached the end of my summer blog. I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Until we meet again, always remember to believe in yourself and trust in your own decisions because the last person in the world you should ever let down is yourself.

Today is: Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Where I am: Pomona, California – Day 46 of the Vans Warped Tour
Where I am actually: Sitting on the couch with Patrick watching The Box. (Cameron Diaz has the worst southern accent of all time, by the way)
Time of day: 2:15 p.m.
What I am listening to: “I Still Do” by the Cranberries (one of my favorite bands ever)

Well, well, well. You guys sure do love a challenge. I asked for 150 comments on last week’s blog and you guys responded with a remarkable 241 comments! That blows my mind, thank you so very much. Now, I know I promised to answer last week’s question in the form of a comment, but after posting the blog I realized that it might be hard for everyone to find my answer amongst the slew of stories you were all sharing. You definitely kept me busy this week reading everything, but as always I enjoyed every second. OK, without further ado, the moment you have all been waiting (not waiting) for. When I am in my underwear jumping around my room like a nut, the first record I will always put on is….(drum roll)…. “You’ll Rebel To Anything” by Mindless Self Indulgence. If you cannot dance to that record you are either deaf or have no feet. (My sincerest apologies to any of you who are deaf, have no feet, or both).

Warped Tour is winding down. Only five more shows left to go. It is amazing how time can sometimes pass in the blink of an eye. I feel like I was just sitting in our van with Patrick and Alex heading from my apartment in Maryland to meet the rest of the guys and the Bandwagon in North Carolina to begin our cross-country jaunt. So much has happened since then. It is such a bizarre feeling when something that happened seven weeks ago can feel almost as if it took place minutes ago. All else aside, I would absolutely consider this year’s Warped Tour to be a success for Alesana. Our crowds, thanks to you, have been enormous. People are singing along, jumping around, buying our shirts, waiting in line to meet us, and spreading the word of our energy on stage at a rapid pace that even I cannot wrap my head around. This is our sixth year as Alesana and, in an industry climate that sees bands come and go with the changing of the seasons, to be able to say that we are bigger than we have ever been brings chills to my skin. It also has led me to reflect recently on how I came to be where I am, musically speaking. From a baseball glove to a guitar, from Dave Matthews Band and Radiohead covers to pop-punk 16th beats, from baggy cargo pants to skinny-girl jeans, from Falling Out of Line to TLE to Alesana. It seems like only yesterday…

I was given my first acoustic guitar as a present from my parents on Christmas Day when I was 17. I did not how to play it, of course, but I was already an established and highly respected air guitar player so I figured it could not be that hard. My first gig ever consisted of me performing Smashing Pumpkins songs on my air guitar in front of a mirror and my dog, Reggie. Needless to say, there was no encore. I started writing actual songs shortly after I graduated high school. I had taken a beginner guitar course my senior year to learn the basics and by the second semester I was already blowing past my classmates and essentially was self-taught the remainder of the way. In fact, my teacher would let me blow off class and go play my guitar outside because I was already beyond the things he was showing everyone else. Good ol’ Mr. J. I miss that guy. (Fun fact, I actually wound up playing a festival with his son, Chris Jay and the Army of Freshmen, years later. What a small world it can be at times.) I started my first band during my second year of college. I had been writing for some time and decided I was ready to organize and arrange full songs, as opposed to just acoustic guitar and vocals. I named the project “Falling Out of Line” and the lineup included my friends Nick Onorato and Ryan Quinn. Our music was all over the place. It was quite obvious that we were a collection of guys who had not been playing their instruments for very long. The songwriting was void of any editing or self-criticism, which caused the songs to go on and on for what seemed like days. We made a record at a studio in Vineland, New Jersey, at a little house in the middle of the woods and I still have it on my iPod to this day. A couple of the songs (most notably “Pointless” and “Journey Home”) still make me smile when I listen to them. Oh, and I had very short hair that was dyed bleach blonde. No, you may not see a picture.

Photo by Richelle Charlie

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Surprisingly, and much to the shock and chagrin of millions of fans around the world, Falling Out of Line broke up. I was in school full time and I decided that I would just continue making music on my own instead of with a band, both for the sake of time consumption and to allow myself to become a better songwriter. It is a lot easier to go through trial and error in art without having three or four other voices buzzing in your ear. By this point I had taught myself how to play drums and piano, as well. Over the course of about a year, I wrote and recorded a project on my own, performing all of the instrumentation myself, which I called “Undeclared.” It was obvious that I had grown as a songwriter and with the freedom to do what I wanted, I began to use more experimentation with vocal harmonies and musical bridges. I went to a company in town and had them make me one hundred copies of the CD of which I sold about 50. I used a picture of my cat, Noopy, as the front cover. In my heart, I knew the record was the first real step I was taking towards a career in music and I wanted my little buddy to be a part of the memory.

2002 is when I formed my first serious band. I had dove head first into the whole Drive-Thru Records era of pop punk rock music and I wanted desperately to be a part of it. (Side note: Finch just came on randomly on my iTunes as I was typing that last sentence. Crazy.) I had been writing a lot of stuff that molded well into that genre and I decided to play some of it for my lifelong friend, Nick Onorato (yes, the same Nick Onorato of Falling Out of Line fame.) He and I had always listened to the same music and he loved what he heard. TLE (The Legitimate Excuse) was born. I am not going to go into too much detail in this blog about TLE because, as I promised a couple of weeks ago, I am going to post a MySpace music page with old pictures, songs, and a history of the band. The one thing I will say is that, while I obviously love Alesana, my bandmates, and the success we have achieved together, nothing in the musical world will ever hold a stronger place in my heart than the years I spent in TLE. It not only shaped me as a musician, but as a person as well. Leaving TLE was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make in my life. Breaking up the band meant letting a best friend down and it hurt my heart to leave him behind; but life takes everyone down different roads and I knew I was making the best decision for me. Nick is currently living in Maryland working a successful job with an awesome wife and a beautiful little girl named Donovan. We all succeed in different ways and I could not be more proud of him. (For the whole story, keep your eyes and ears open for the release of myspace.com/thelegitimateexcuse.)

OK. Alesana. The story of Alesana. Here it goes. Wait…not today. Why, you ask? I am making a film documentary that spans the entirety of Alesana’s career. And if told you now, the fun would be spoiled. I know…I am sneaky.

So onto the fun part: this week’s question. I think I will do the usual and stick with the present material. What one experience in your life is so memorable that, despite how long ago it happened, feels like it was only yesterday. We will make the time frame at least one year. I do not want to hear answers like “Warped Tour 2010!!” or “the pastrami sandwich I had last week!” Let’s dig deep here people and find some awesome memories to share. If you are not comfortable with sharing, or if you are having trouble conjuring up a memory, tell me about your best friend. Why are they your best friend? Are you their best friend? Why? Answering all questions makes you awesome, by the way.

Song quote of the week:

“If we survive and I’m alive I’d like to say how beautiful I think you are.” – “Island” by the Starting Line

Beating 241 comments will be tough, so I will forgive you if we do not reach that plateau. But that is not a donated excuse for us not to try! Until next week, my final Warped Tour blog, I ask you all to call a friend you have not talked to in far too long. You will be surprised how happy they will be just to hear your voice. xo

Photo by Richelle Charlie

Today is: Monday, August 2, 2010
Where I am: Bonner Springs, Kansas—Day 37 of the Vans Warped Tour
Where I am actually: Laying in my bunk where it is cold because it is hot outside. Very, very hot.
Time of day: 5:44 p.m.
What I am listening to: “Sweet Tangerine” by The Hush Sound (such a cute song!)

Allow me to begin by saying that I was blown away by your responses last week. I honestly read each and every one of them and I still cannot believe how many of you took the time to share your thoughts. Thank you. Oh, and just a heads up. I am in a very hyper mood today, which is causing my thoughts to race about a million miles a second. Needless to say, keeping this week’s blog to only one idea or concept is pretty much an impossibility. If you are lucky, I might label each section. Maybe not. Probably not.

I am going to be a super-fan for a moment, if I may? I recently met Ace Enders (formerly of the Early November, currently of I Can Make a Mess Like Nobody’s Business). He is playing the Warped Tour this year on the same stage as we are, which still does not feel real to say, even as I write it down. He watched us play one day, and, no joke, his exact words were: “Wow. I feel tougher just having watched that set.” How cool is that? I have looked up to Ace for years. I used to put “The Room’s Too Cold” into the stereo in my car and blast “Ever So Sweet” as loud as I could and sing my heart out. I remember thinking how cool it must be to have written a song that was so good and so powerful that it led people to make fools out of themselves in their cars (me = that very same fool). Even more important, he is a great person and a kind soul. He is the definition of humility, which is something I strive to become as a musician and an entertainer. In my mind there is no better quality that an artist can possess.  

Student Rick meets Slick Shoes meets Name Taken. If I had to define my first real band, that is the comparison I would have to make. I loved all three of those bands, and still do. Sadly, Student Rick only made one record. Name Taken made more than one, but only the last one ever received any recognition in the public eye. Slick Shoes made a bunch. Wow, I am rambling.

I am not a very religious person, but I definitely believe that there is something that exists beyond our understanding. It is my belief that the term God is something we lend to the possibility of something so powerful that it is beyond the comprehension of the human mind. I do not believe he is a guy sitting on a cloud in a white robe smiting the wicked and embracing the blessed. However, I most certainly believe that we were created by someone or something. I am not so vain as to believe that the beginning and the end rests in the hands on mankind alone.  

Is it OK to laugh if you watch someone trip on their own shoelace? I am not saying it would be funny if they actually fell and hurt themselves. But I think I would laugh if they just stumbled a little bit. Tell you what, if you ever see me trip on my own shoelace, feel free to laugh.

I am going to jump back to religion quickly, but this time in a more lighthearted fashion. When God created Earth, do you think he hid practical jokes everywhere? For example, when it rains, it is our instinct as human beings to run for cover. I am sure God thought of this, so he gave us big, tall trees to hide beneath. But the most readily available thing for lightning to strike would be this very same big, tall tree. I would like to think that God has a sense of humor. I mean come on, a hammerhead shark? Really, God?

“This is what living like this does. This is what living like this does. This is what living like this does.” Damn, the first Taking Back Sunday record is so good.

If you are a writer and are ever experiencing writer’s block, I feel your pain. Sometimes the words are just not there. Sometimes every idea, every sentence just feels hackneyed and mundane. One trick that I have used in the past and have found pretty good success with, is to write with a pen and paper instead of on a computer. I know it is 2010 and the thought of doing anything by hand sounds archaic, but trust me it works. Using the pen and paper technique causes you to write slower and consequently gives your mind more time to relax and adjust. Instead of stressing about having nothing to say, you will concentrate more on the physical act of writing and before you know it you will have written a couple of pages. Even if it is total crap, at least you got something down and gave your mind a chance to breathe. Also, when using the pen, never cross anything out. Writing on a computer literally goes hand in hand with the delete key (a function we all use far too much) causing us to sometimes suffocate potential ideas. Once in a while, go back and read through what you wrote down on paper. You may be surprised how much an idea can seem like a plethora of garbage one day and a pirate’s treasure the next.

Most poorly used word in the English language? Literally. Thank you, David Cross.{pagebreak}

Five bands that shaped my high school years: The Movielife, Lagwagon, MxPx, Riverfenix, and Slick Shoes.

The No. 1 thing not to ask a band to sign? A wet wife-beater. The No. 1 cause of passing out at Warped Tour? Not drinking water. The No. 1 thing never to say to a band? I love your record, I downloaded it off LimeWire. The No. 1 worst thing to paint on your chest at Warped Tour? Free hugs. It is 100 degrees outside, the last thing most people want to do is hug you, trust me. The No. 1 best thing you can do at Warped Tour? Support your local bands. All of your favorite bands were at one time a local band somewhere, and without the support of their hometown they would not be where they are today.

Do you ever find yourself getting mad at the guy who first said, “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” I do. On the contrary, I would love to hug the guy who first said, “If the shoe fits.”

Phew. I feel like I just sprinted for an hour. I have never written so fast in my life. I hope I did not lose any of you with my lack of paragraph transitions. But, come on. Sometimes it is fun to be all over the place. Have you ever jumped around in your underwear to your favorite CD while cleaning your bedroom? This blog was the weekly writing piece version of that scenario. And who the heck does not like jumping around their bedroom clad in underoos listening to some killer music? I will be honest, if I get to heaven and at the gate I am told that for eternity I will get to do this, I do not think I will be disappointed.

This week’s question is a two-part question in which the two parts have absolutely nothing to do with one another. At all. For some strange reason that feels appropriate today. The first part brings us straight back to the underwear dance. What record is playing during your dance? The second part: Which feeling theoretically knocks your socks off more? Meeting the person of your dreams or the anticipation of maybe meeting them one day? Why?

I am going to try to do something a little different this week. The amount of comments I have been receiving on these blogs is just astounding. Let’s challenge ourselves, shall we? If we can get up to 150 comments on this week’s blog, I will answer this week’s question myself in the form of a comment! I know you have to be at least a little bit curious as to what record gets me jumping around my house like a crazy person. Let’s do it guys!

Song quote of the week:

“Looking out across the night-time, the city winks a sleepless eye. Hear her voice shake my window, sweet seducing sighs.” —“Human Nature” by Michael Jackson

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I have started putting together a MySpace page for my old band. I hope to have it ready early this fall. Thank you for urging me to do this. Until next time friends, remember that making your bed in the morning sucks but the feeling of crawling into a freshly made bed at night is hard to beat.

Photo of Shawn Milke courtesy of Ave Barr

Today is: Monday, July 26, 2010
Where I am: Atlanta, Georgia—Day 30 of the Vans Warped Tour
Where I am actually: Sitting on Henri’s bed while Dane brushes his teeth and Mark tattoos Jeremy. Hannah Montana is playing on the TV screen. Don’t judge me.
Time of day: 9:22 p.m.
What I am listening to: “Generator^1st Floor” by Freelance Whales. (If you have not heard of this band, go find them now. They are amazing.)

This week I am going to begin a bit off-topic. Well, off of the original topic that I had in mind anyway. In the end, this first paragraph will feel disjointed from the rest of the piece, but this is something I would love to share if that is OK. I may have mentioned this in a prior blog so if I am in fact repeating myself, I apologize. “PMA”: Positive Mental Attitude. Every member of Alesana has it tattooed somewhere on their body. It is the mantra we live by, the state of mind that has led us to our success in both music and in life. I have the urge to mention this today because I just sat and watched our merchandise retailer, Henri Pickersgill, get “PMA” tattooed on his wrist. It has officially made him a part of our family. When he first mentioned the idea to me I, in turn, asked him why he wanted the tattoo. He said, “Because you guys are great people. I love what it means to you and how you actually live your lives in that manner.” About a year ago, Henri was involved in a terrible accident. We were on tour in Europe (Henri is from England) and a bunch of us were out having a good time. He and a friend began a friendly wrestling match and within several minutes Henri slipped and threw out his hip. The nerve was within an inch of severing completely which would have put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I will never forget how he looked that night when we took him to the emergency room. He was in hospital scrubs drinking a beer with a big smile on his face. “I’ll be back on my feet before you know it.” In hindsight, we were more terrified than he was. An injury so severe could have kept Henri off of his feet for a very long time, but he battled and worked through rehab faster than lightning. It is a pleasure knowing someone like him and the courage he showed through such a difficult time is both admirable and heroic. Never underestimate the power of a positive mental attitude. OK, now onto this week’s blog.

Finding an identity is tough. Who am I? Where do I fit in? What am I good at doing? What will people remember about me after meeting me? Jocks, geeks, hippies, brainiacs, skaters, punks, metalheads, teacher’s pets. What crap. Who cares? Honestly. Do you know why we care? Because we are conditioned to care. As a society in general we are shaped from a young age to fit in somewhere. When I was in high school I played baseball, I had a 4.0, I played guitar, I dated a girl who lifeguarded and surfed, and my best friend was, for lack of a better term, a thug. Not a very good kid, but I loved him just the same. I am not just listing these things to say, “Hey, look at me and what I did.” I am trying to illustrate a point about fitting in to a certain category, especially as a teenager. By definition, I was a mutt. In the standards of typical cliques and clichés, I should not have been able to bridge all of those gaps. But it worked, because I believed in doing what I wanted to do regardless of what the people in those groups had in mind. I was never the most popular kid in school, not even close. I definitely floated somewhere in the middle of that category, but popularity never mattered to me. If I spent my energy worrying about where I stood on the totem pole in the eyes of people who only cared about their status, then I would have missed out on so many valuable things to learn and achieve. Forget what everyone says and thinks. Worry only about how you feel about yourself. Believe in yourself. If you paint, paint. If you sing, sing. If you like to dance, then dance. If you like science, study your ass off and become a doctor. If you follow your heart and your dreams I promise one day Johnny Popular will be valet-parking your car.

The same mentality holds true with music and the “scene.” It breaks my heart when I see kids flipping their middle fingers and cussing at bands while they are onstage. Man, this band isn’t metal enough. Where are the breakdowns? This band screams too much. This band doesn’t scream enough. Blah, blah, whine, whine. If you are listening to music simply to look cool then do us all a favor and get lost. And here is a crazy idea. If you do not like a band or their music then DO NOT LISTEN TO IT. Nobody forces you to buy a CD, or illegally download a record. (Disclaimer: Do not illegally download music. Ever.), or stand at a stage and watch a performance. Obviously, not everyone is going to like everything: the mere idea is ludicrous. But showing up just to hate is a waste of everybody’s time, especially your own. Don’t forget, hating something is easy. It is loving something that takes true dedication and character.{pagebreak}

Above all else, music is supposed to mean something; it is supposed to come from the heart, from the soul. That is all I have ever asked of any band I have listened to. The second a band starts lying to themselves, then they are lying to us and that is when it becomes unfair. Please just believe in your music and do not try to sell me regurgitated nonsense. That is one thing I can confidently say about my own band, Alesana. What you see is what you get. We have never promised to be anything but what we are; a bunch of guys who like making music together. We love telling stories, creating new worlds within our music, and so that is what we do. Despite some pressure from management, labels, critics, and even our fans, we have never strayed from the path that we have chosen to take with our art. Our argument is simple: If you do not like us, then do not worry about us. The only thing that matters to us when we rest our heads on our pillows at night is that Alesana likes Alesana, and I think it really shows in our music and in our performances. We love our band, we love our music, and we love playing together. Support from our fans (the greatest fans on earth, by the way) is just the icing on the cake. We are on this journey with one another and anyone who wants to come along for the ride is more than welcome; but it is important to realize that we are going with or without you. We do not ask for approval, only for understanding. We are who we are and we are damn proud of being Alesana.

That brings me back to identity. What does identity truly mean? So many people will tell you that it is how others perceive you. I am sure most of you would identify me as the singer-guitarist from Alesana, and you of course would not be wrong. But I am much more than that. If you are the kid who gets good grades in school, that is probably how others will see you. Who cares? How do you see yourself? That is what is important, that is what matters. Understand your strengths and your flaws equally. Never be ashamed of the things that you are good with and never make excuses for the things that give you are hard time. Make your choices and be confident. I was told by many people in high school that I was an average guitar player and an even worse singer. Maybe they were right, maybe they were wrong. The point is, their version of me was not the version of me that I saw in the mirror, the version of me in my heart. I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, and I will never let anyone identify me but me. Paint those paintings, sing those songs, ace those exams. Find yourself and make yourself proud. And never be afraid to lean on a friend.

A little side note before I go, I have been curious about something for a while. My iPod is on shuffle right now, and my old band just came on randomly. Do you think creating a MySpace and posting some old pics and songs from that band might be something you guys would be into? Let me know, I think it could be fun.

Song quote of the week:

“It’s just another stretch of highway, I never asked for ordinary. Time and time change. If I rewrote this it might just sound the same.” – “Dare To” by Spitalfield

This week’s question:

What is one thing you dream of accomplishing one day? I hope to someday turn one of my stories into a film and write the score with my friend Adam Fisher. Your turn…

Photo of Shawn Milke courtesy of Ave Barr

Today is: Friday, July 16th, 2010
Where I am: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Day 20 of the Vans Warped Tour
Where I am actually: Bouncing back and forth between the hot trailer and the cold bus
Time of day: 3:23 p.m.
What I am listening to: “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” by Kanye West

Dearest (love) reader, I hope this (message) blog finds you well (Last Three Letters, anyone?). Your responses to last week’s question were so candid, open, and honest. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not only reading, but for sharing your experiences.

I have been writing since I was a kid. I would write scripts in my little notebook that had a picture of the Ultimate Warrior (by far my favorite wrestler) on the front. They were not much, obviously. Just a few scribbles of characters names, a small description of a setting, and, if I was feeling motivated, maybe a small plot of some sort. To be honest, I sometimes read back through them only to find that they were essentially just knockoffs of films that already existed, albeit with a few minor changes here and there. Come on, cut me some slack—I was 11 years old. After “the script” was finished, I would film the story with my sister and childhood best friend, as the three acted out the plot, with each of us playing multiple characters. My camera was one of those very old, very large VHS video cameras. The quality of the image was terrible, the acting awful, and the script completely ignored. I would spend hours following the award-winning performance, “editing” the movie by attaching two VCRs together, playing the movie with one and recording the changes with the other. I was even able to add a soundtrack afterwards by recording the TV screen with a new tape in the camera and playing music with my stereo in the background. I would then cook popcorn and force my family to watch the movie. They were so good at pretending to love every second, and it always made me smile. Their support kept me motivated. It is amazing how much parents can influence the direction and success of their children.

As I grew older, my writing carried over into my schoolwork. I took several advanced-placement writing courses and by my senior year achieved the highest score in my class during college-placement exams for writing. In college, I majored in Business Management while minoring in Creative Writing. It is strange because, despite my success and talent, I never really put my entire self into writing. Growing up and all through high school, all I wanted to do was play baseball. I was good at it, the girls seemed to dig it, and therefore that is where my priorities were held. After graduating, I had the option to play ball in college but, after days and days of pondering, I made the decision to pursue life outside of sports. High-level athletics are the definition of devotion, with three-a-day practices and the challenge of maintaining studies, and while I still love baseball with all of my heart, the desire to see what else life had to offer took a hold of me. A big reason for my decision stems back to the writing I did as a kid and something that my Aunt Cheryl said to me when I was maybe 12 or 13 years old: “Never quit writing. No matter where you go in life, always write. You have a God-given gift, and it would be wrong to give that up and not share it with others.” I promised myself to never forget her advice, which, of course, became hard during my teenage years. But doesn’t everything seem to be hard when you are a teenager?

As I grew into adulthood, barely escaping the years of puberty, hormones, acne, SATs and the catch-and-release of my first love, her advice came storming back to me. Write. Always write. So I did. Only not quite the way we maybe had in mind all of those years ago. I had learned how to play guitar, piano, and drums. I wrote songs, and a lot of them. Over the course of about three years I wrote and recorded five albums worth of material for three different bands that I put together. Then, as many of you may already know, I formed Alesana in 2004 and since that day have written one EP and three full-length records. I am currently writing material for the fourth Alesana LP and also for two other projects called Wake Me Up, Juliet and Tempting Paris. The crazy thing is, even after writing over 100 songs, the itch to write stories still existed within me. Songwriting is a beautiful and amazing experience, but I still felt like that was not what my Aunt Cheryl was talking about. “Never quit writing.” She was not talking about songs, even though she is proud of my success as a songwriter. What she was truly talking about was prose. Stories. Experiences. Characters. Plot. I finally understood. Hence, “The Emptiness”: My first printed, creative piece of story writing. I was nervous as hell to write that story. But her words gave me the strength see it through to the end. And now I am half way through my first novel. Thank you, Aunt Cheryl.

My most definitive flaw as a writer, though I would not necessarily consider it to be a flaw, is procrastinating. I take everything down to the wire, so to speak. As painful as procrastinating can be, I just cannot seem to hate it. So many things that I have accomplished, written, and created have been due to putting it off until the last minute. Maybe it is the pressure. Or maybe that is just my excuse. Either way, it is a system that works for me. Does my publicist (the one and only Jenny Reader) get stressed out hunting me down for my work? I am going to hazard a guess and say…yes. And for this I most certainly do apologize. But the one thing I can guarantee is that I will never hand in something that is not 100-percent honest, from the heart, and completely a part of me. I take my writing very seriously and I would never want to let anyone down just to say that I handed it in on time. Is that maybe a teeny bit irresponsible? Oh, yeah. But I also never iron my clothes, I sometimes forget to brush my teeth before bed, I stay in the shower even if I know I am late for something, I wear the same underwear for what some would consider far too long, and I tend to leave the coffeepot on all day. I am not here to tell lies. Lies are a waste of everyone’s time. I handed this blog in late. I am sorry, honestly I am. But I would have been more sorry to hand in a story that I would not have been proud to share with all of you.

That leads me to this week’s question! What is one irresponsible thing that you did this week? And what did you do to remedy your mistake? I think I will send my publicist some flowers. She deserves it for putting up with my tardiness.

Song Quote of the Week:

“And even though I’d always dreamed of going to the stars, in space all I think about is you and me” —“In Space” by Ludo

You know what’s funny? There was something I really wanted to say when I first sat down to begin writing this blog. But now I can’t seem to remember what it was. Oh well, I’ll get to it later. Maybe.

Photo of Shawn Milke courtesy of LiveNLoud.com.

Today Is: Thursday, July 1, 2010
Where I Am: San Antonio, Texas – Day Six of the Vans Warped Tour
Where I Am Actually: The kitchen table on my bus
Time: 2:30 p.m.
Listening to: “Cartoons and Macramé Wounds” by Mew

The kind folks at Revolvermag.com have asked me once again to write a weekly blog on their website for the duration of the Vans Warped Tour. I would like to thank them as well as you, the readers, for welcoming me back.

Since my last blog, I spent six weeks touring Europe, which was amazing. The languages are confusing, the food generally subpar, the time zone six hours off, the weather cloudy with a chance of rain nearly every day, and the money… well let’s just say I had to exchange six different currencies when I returned to the good old “You Ess’ of Ay.” In spite of it all, I loved every second of it. I saw things that even my wildest dreams could not conjure or create. I ate spaghetti carbonara’ one block away from the Roman Coliseum, dipped my feet in the bluest river in France, took a walking tour through the historic sites of Madrid, wandered the streets of Prague by myself under a full moon, took a picture in front of the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Barcelona, and, most importantly, was blessed with the opportunity to play for our international fans at sold-out rock shows.

Taking a step back to see just how far Alesana’ has come can sometimes be difficult. The everyday hustle and grind of touring can really make time fly by, which, in turn, makes it increasingly important to slow myself down once in a while. Think of it like a picture that you take with your mind. I remember standing on a bridge in Prague around midnight, staring off into the beautiful night sky; and please believe when I say that it was one of the most breathtaking things I have ever witnessed in my life. I had my camera with me, but I chose not to take a picture. Instead, I just stood there and thought back to our very first show as Alesana’.

It was at a place called Martin Street Music Hall. There were five bands on the bill, and, without including friends and girlfriends, about 10 people there to see the show. As I stood on that ancient bridge reminiscing, the question that started to burn in the back of my mind was, How’ did I get here? If I could somehow talk to the Shawn playing that show nearly six years ago, would he believe me when I spoke of the adventures he had waiting ahead of him? That he would one day be standing above the city lights and sounds’ of Prague thinking back to the very moment that he was now experiencing? Even as I sit here writing this, I can still picture that bridge so perfectly; the water below, the stars above, the statues’ and monuments surrounding me. No one else but me will ever know exactly what that night looked like at the exact moment as I stood seemingly above the world. The only picture to document the view is stored deep inside my memory for no one but me to see.

Let us move on to the Warped Tour. Ahh’’, the Warped Tour.’ Sticky, sweaty, hot, amazing Warped Tour. Two months of the most grueling, exhausting, fast-paced touring there is: and as a touring musician, there is nowhere else I would rather be spending my summer. Picture it as a giant family reunion; bands we have toured with in the past, crew members’ we have worked with, friends we rarely see. It is the place to be for two months out of the year. But let us go back to how Alesana’ arrived at this year’s tour in the first place. We rented what is called a bandwagon. Essentially, it is a mini-bus. It has big, comfy bunks, a full working shower, two couches, satellite television, and a kitchen. Not too shabby.

New vehicle in place, we decided that we wanted to keep the experience new and fresh, which can be hard to do after touring the U.S. for five years straight. The decision was made to do a cross-country drive. North Carolina to California.’ Five days. wo thousand, five hundred, and sixty miles.’ To most, the task would seem daunting; but we were strangely excited. We had been on break for six weeks which meant the trip would give us a good chance to spend some time together and bond without having to play shows. And it gave us the chance to get our new guitarist, Alex Torres, acclimated to the ways of Alesana’. I wonder if he knows what he has gotten himself into.

Anyway, it was five of the best days of my life. It was just me, my boys, and the open road’. It was the kind of road trip they write movies about. Upon arriving to Carson, California, for rehearsal day, I excitedly removed cross-country road trip with friends off of my list of dreams to make come true. And again, no pictures.’ I can instantly be there again whenever I close my eyes and return to the memory.

Settling into Warped can sometimes take a few days, especially after a break from touring. Set times are entirely random creating the challenge of getting your body ready to play at any time from 11:00 a.m. ­– 8:00 p.m. The heat is another obvious obstacle to overcome. Club venues can get extremely hot, don’t get me wrong, but nothing can match the heat of the summer sun. On average, it generally takes us about four or five shows to get comfortably back into the habit and routine of Warped. This year, on the same day we found our stride, we were invited to join the Warped Tour documentary crew for some behind-the-scenes footage. It was exciting enough just to be a part of the film, but little did we know what we headed for.

The crew took us to White Sands National Monument, which, for anyone who does not know, is a gorgeous desert in the middle of nowhere outside of Las Cruces, New Mexico. They filmed us hanging out in their van on the drive there, throwing a Frisbee around the awe-inspiring sand dunes, jumping down the hills, and they conducted an interview: Hands down the most awesome location for an interview. Ever. Just before we boarded the van to return to Warped, we suggested to the photographer that he take some press photos of us in the desert with the setting sun behind us. No words can describe how mesmeric these photos turned out. Even after nearly six years of being in Alesana’, and over five years of touring, I still see and experience new things that take my breath away. Life is short, and, as they say, you have to soak up it up while you still can. I woke up that morning expecting to play a show, meet some fans, watch the Phillies, eat some dinner, maybe play some NFL Blitz, and then call it a night. Instead, I fell asleep with visions of the beauty I had been introduced to earlier that evening, the views etched in my memory forever. It got me thinking. While no photo can be as powerful as a treasured memory in your mind, some things in life are just too beautiful to not share with people. Having said that, I would like to show you a photo taken with my iPhone’ by my tour manager, Dougie’, while we were doing our press photos in the desert.

For my blogs this time around I am going to close with a question each week about something that has truly changed my (your) life. I am not talking about the simple things like a really hot shower after a long day at work, or finding twenty bucks on the sidewalk, or getting exactly what I (you) asked for at Christmas, although these things are pretty awesome. What I am asking is for you to share something that has affected your life in a positive way and has stuck with you ever since. Something that has helped mold’ you into the person that you are today. As always, I will do the same.

This week’s question?

What one record changed your life?

My answer: Destination Beautiful by Mae. I could explain but I am already working on one novel as it is. Until next time, stay safe, stay healthy, and go pick up one piece of recyclable trash off of the ground. A little bit goes a long way. PMA.

Sitting in: Baltimore Coffee in Annapolis, MD, with my sister, Melissa
Listening to: “Shut Me Up” by Mindless Self Indulgence
Time of day: 5:26 p.m. EST
Day of break: Three
Up next: 12 days until The Emptiness European Tour

I am home. Tour is over. As always, it is bittersweet.

The Emptiness Tour was a complete and utter success. The shows were amazing, I met tons of great people, and we made it home safely. With the end of the tour comes the end of my blogs here at Revolver magazine. I would like to thank Revolver for allowing me the chance to share my experiences through such a highly respected and popular website. More importantly, I would like to thank you, the reader, for giving me the chance to write and share my world with you. I promise that this will not be the last you hear from me. Follow Alesana on Twitter to see where I just might pop up again.

Summer time is just around the corner. For my last Revolver guest blog I thought it would be fun to do one final countdown. I give to you my Top 5 Things I Am Looking Forward To About the Summer of 2010! Please feel free to leave me comments right here on revolvermag.com with the things you are looking forward to!

Top 5 Things I Am Looking Forward To About the Summer of 2010

5. Playing Wiffle Ball with my sister! (C’mon we have matching wiffle-ball tattoos.)
4. Vacationing to New Jersey and Pennsylvania to see my parents!
3. Going to the beach with Naima and Mae Mae!
2. Warped Tour on the Glamour Kills stage!
1. Philadelphia Phillies baseball! Let’s go for back-back-back NL Championships baby!

Until we meet again loyal readers, this is Shawn Milke saying, “Get busy living or get busy dying.”

Sitting In: the dressing room at The Meridian in Houston, TX
Listening to: “Consequence” by The Notwist
Time of Day: 4:35 p.m. CST
Day of tour: 34
Hours Left Until I Play: 6 hours and 5 minutes

Tour is wrapping up. Only one week left. So much to say, so much to write about.

I had been looking forward to this tour since the day we finished the record. I had dreams of what it would be like to walk out onto the stage to the sound of Fear Before the March of Flames singer Adam Fisher’s voice declaring, “I am here to tell you a story.” The anticipation moved through my body like a bolt of lightning, and there were days when I could not think of anything but playing this record live. As I sit here on this awkwardly large and uncomfortable couch in my dressing room, the realization hits me that I have now performed The Emptiness onstage 33 times (two shows in Japan, one hometown show in Raleigh, and 30 shows on this current tour). The crazy part is that I am still anticipating tonight’s show with the same level of enthusiasm as the first. There is something about this record, about this music, that fires me up. I love our old material with all of my heart—don’t get me wrong—but The Emptiness is my baby. It is my brain-child. The Emptiness is something I have long dreamed of creating and every night when I perform the songs live I am able to relive that dream over and over. To be able to combine my love for writing, music, and theatre into one project is pure fantasy brought to life.

The monotony of tour can sometimes be overwhelming. Allow me to say that this is in no way, shape, or form a complaint. I play music and travel for a living. I consider myself to be both blessed and extremely fortunate. However, like most things in life, the strain of repetition catches up with us every now and again. Restaurants, truck stops, bars, Walmarts, malls, soundchecks; these are things that happen almost every day. The beautiful part of tour are the moments that catch you off guard, whether good or bad. They keep the pulse moving, the heart beating, the mind suspecting. They make you realize that no matter how comfortable or tedious life can sometimes seem, it’s best to keep your eyes open. In addition to the amazing shows and the experience of performing our very own rock opera every night for two months straight, the following four events, be them good or bad, are what will make me remember The Emptiness tour forever.

1. The Very Nice Elderly Lady at the Truck Stop
About two weeks ago, I woke up in the van to find that we were parked at a Pilot (a common truck stop that provides restrooms, showers, gasoline, gas station treats, and usually a fast-food chain restaurant of some sort). I stumbled out into the morning sunlight still half asleep, donned in an old, stretched out Mindless Self Indulgence T-shirt with faded Fear Before the March of Flames sweatpants. The outfit does not match. Not even close. I made my way towards the entrance, all the while trying to decide if I should buy a Gatorade, a coffee, or both. These decisions can make or break your morning, let me tell you. I reached the door at the same time as an elderly lady, and we exchanged polite smiles. As I was raised to do, I opened the door and said, “After you.” She walked through the door and I followed behind her. Once inside, she grabbed me by the arm and said, “I don’t remember the last time a young man held a door open for me. Thank you for making an old lady’s day a little brighter.” Looking back at that moment now I wish I had been wearing a fedora and a dapper three piece suit, complete with a confident smile and a witty idiom like, “Not to worry! A young lady such as yourself should never have to paddle her own canoe, no siree!” Her words were extremely kind but they made me sad. To think that this woman had gone long enough without a door being held open for her by a gentleman to actually mention the fact, hurts my heart. To all you men out there, wake up. Chivalry should be a part of life, not the exception to the rule.

2. The Band Who Thinks They Are Too Big for Their Britches
I am never one to bad-mouth anything or anyone. I wish success and happiness for those who actively pursue their dreams. I try my best not to have an ego, and humility is what I believe to be the most attractive quality any person can have. Unfortunately, there are bands out there who think they are the first group of people to write and perform music and, in consequence, think their existence is far more important than others. Such a joke. I will not use their actual names because that would be wrong and would just be me adding fuel to the fire. We will call them: Homicide Noise. (Hey, I said I wouldn’t throw fuel, but I never said I wouldn’t toss a log or two.) We were playing a festival in Texas as second main support and we had our set cut off after four songs because Homicide Noise felt it was more important for them to play for an hour than for us to be allowed to finish our 30-minute set. The show was running behind because several of the acts before us took too long getting off of the stage and the crew running the show were having a hard time staying on time. Homicide Noise paid no mind to these facts and, despite not having the authority to pull the plug on anyone, went up to our sound guy and verbally forced him from the sound board. We drove 14 hours round trip to play this festival and, thanks to the enlarged heads and inflamed egos of our festival-mates, our fans were forced to leave the show disappointed and confused as to why we only played for 12 minutes. Always remember one thing, Homicide Noise. The Beatles are responsible for modern rock and roll. Not you. Get bent. {pagebreak}

3. Billy the Kid Is Known for Whistling Melancholy Tunes
I have been a fan of Western films for quite some time. The movie that broke me into the genre, released in 1988, was called Young Guns, starring Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, Kiefer Sutherland, and Dermot Mulroney. I knew that movie word for word, probably still do. Beware of the spoiler alert, but there were two things that hooked me on the film. One, Sheen’s character dies super early in the story, and, especially at the time, it was almost unheard of for a big-named actor to get bumped so early in a picture. Two, Billy the Kid, played by Estevez. What a confident, cool, cocky, fiery badass. Estevez’s portrayal of the outlaw was so awesome that it made me want to be a cowboy. I remember going to the library and reading anything I could find on the life of William H. Bonney, a.k.a. Billy the Kid. About a week ago, driving in what felt like the middle of nowhere, we stumbled upon a small building in Fort Sumner, New Mexico. It turned out to be a museum that also housed the grave of Billy the Kid in the back. I can now cross that off of the list of things to see before I die.

4. Holy Crap, Is That Scot Shields?!?
Answer: yes. While writing my fourth blog in Tempe, Dennis

Experience changes everything. Someone once said it takes a man to dream but a dreamer to live. Everyday I wake up and I get to play music. It is my career. But, it was not always my career. I remember I would sit around my apartment, or in class, or at work, and I would daydream about what it would be like to see the world and play rock shows for people who liked my music. It could have ended right there. I could have just kept on going with the way life was and been content with dreaming about what things could be like. I was not content with that. I got up off of my butt and I made it happen. I would not settle for anything less. Life is there for us to grab a hold of, but it will not come to us; we must go to it. What is your dream? When you are driving in your car, or laying in your bed at night, or waiting in line at the grocery store, where does your mind wander? What is that one thing that makes your stomach fill with butterflies when you consider it becoming a reality? Picture it, find it, seize it, and make it happen. It is scary, I know: But so is the thought of never trying. I would rather fail a million times than to ask myself, What if? for the rest of my life. We are all different and if you are happy with dreaming then by all means keep on keeping on. However, if you want something more, if you want that fantasy, it is time to stop dreaming and start capturing. Odds are you will not meet Scot Shields while sitting in your living room.

Postscript
Thank you, everyone, for your Top Fives! I was overwhelmed with how many of you actually responded and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. So many of your answers were great, I enjoyed reading all of them. Also, many of you had some great suggestions for my next Top 5, but it was Laura Core who caught my attention with my Top 5 favorite video games of all time. So here they are! And as always, thank you, loyal readers, for keeping me company.

Top 5 Video Games of All Time
5. RBI Baseball (original Nintendo, epic)
4. Tomb Raider
3. MLB 09: The Show
2. The Legend of Zelda (every installment, all amazing)
1. Chrono Trigger

Sitting In: A bar called the Library in Tempe, AZ with Shane and Dennis
Listening To: “I Like It Rough” by Lady Gaga
Time of Day: 6:00 p.m. MST
Day of Tour: 25
Time Left Until I Play: 3 hours and 40 minutes

Recently, I blogged about the Top Five most embarrassing moments that I have ever experienced onstage and I started thinking. Well, more accurately it made me realize something: I love countdowns.

When I was growing up I was obsessed with music (big surprise, I know). Every January I would create a list of the Top 50 Songs of the Year, Top 10 Albums of the Year, and Top 5 Artists of the Year, according to me—just for fun. Have you ever watched VH1 or the Entertainment Network and had the pleasure of viewing those addicting shows where they countdown the best videos of all time, the worst-dressed celebrities, most surprising cameos of all time, best hair, worst shoes? The list goes on and on. No matter where I am or what I am doing, or the subject matter of the countdown for that matter, I simply cannot change the channel when those things are on the screen. To make matters worse, I do not think I have ever been happy with the revelation of the No. 1 *insert topic here* of “all time”. It makes me wonder why I subject myself to these countdowns if in the end I am only going to be disappointed. Is it the anticipation? Is it the clever way all of the shots are edited? Is it the cheesy attempts at humor that nearly every narrator pours like syrup on pancakes? I guess it could be any, or all, of these things. Or maybe I am just addicted to countdowns. Regardless of the reason, I love it.

That being said, I am now going to reveal to you my “Top 10 ‘In Case You Give A Crap’ Countdown of Things That I Truly Give a Crap About.” To make it more fun, I have also included my Top 5 in each of the 10 categories. I am a nerd. Enjoy.

number ten – Gas Station Treats

5. Slim Jim’s
4. Doritos (original)
3. Arizona Red Apple Iced Tea
2. Andy Capp Hot and/or Cheddar Fries
1. Powdered Mini Donuts

number nine – Things I Ask for on Our Rider Each Show

5. Odwalla Bars (especially strawberry pomegranate)
4. Lunch Meat with Wheat Bread and Mayonnaise
3. Naked Juice (especially green machine)
2. Emergen-Cs
1. Gatorade

number eight – Venues in America

5. State Theatre, St. Petersburg, FL
4. The Rave, Milwaukee, WI
3. El Rey Theatre, Los Angeles, CA
2. The Metro, Chicago, IL
1. Soma, San Diego, CA

number seven – Coolest Cities in the World

5. Saint Croix
4. Sydney
3. Tokyo
2. Chicago
1. Philadelphia

number six - Favorite Foods

5. Macaroni and Cheese
4. Hot Dogs
3. Sushi
2. Homemade Grilled Cheese w/ Tomato Basil Soup
1. Indian

number five – TV Shows (non-animated / animated)

5. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia / Looney Tunes
4. How I Met Your Mother / Home Movies
3. Curb Your Enthusiasm / Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2. Entourage / Family Guy
1. Arrested Development / The Simpsons

number four - Actors and Actresses

5. Robert De Niro
4. Johnny Depp
3. Kate Winslet
2. Josh Hartnett
1. Leonardo DiCaprio

number three – Albums of All Time

5. Save the World, Lose the Girl, Midtown
4. The Always Open Mouth, Fear Before the March of Flames
3. Colors, Between the Buried and Me
2. Something To Write Home About, the Get-Up Kids
1. The Everglow, Mae

number two – Bands of All Time

5. Thrice
4. Spitalfield
3. Oasis
2. Mae
1. The Beatles

number one – Movies

5. Lucky Number Slevin
4. Wicker Park
3. The Count Of Monte Cristo
2. The Shawshank Redemption
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So there you have it. Hopefully this Countdown of Countdowns provided you with a small window into the things that make me tick. After all, it is the little things in life that make each day special. It is actually a bit surprising how therapeutic an exercise like this can be. So much of our lives are spent going to work, sitting in class, doing chores, walking the dog, sleeping. We tend to not focus on the little things that make us smile without even realizing it. Here is what I want you to do, people. Select one of the categories in my Top 10 countdowns and send me your Top 5 in that category. Leave your response in the form of a comment right here on Revolvermag.com. Do not be shy, there are no wrong answers here. Just have fun with it and let your imagination run wild. Oh yeah, and help me pick a Top 5 for next week. I’ll pick the one that sounds like the most fun and reveal my choices in next week’s blog. Until then, loyal readers…snap into a Slim Jim—oh, yeah!