All Chris Krovatin Articles

Final Six: The Six Best Summer Albums and the Six Best Winter Albums

1) White Zombie, La Sexorcisto: Devil Music, Vol. 1 This beach-friendly soul-crusher brings California attitude and Frankenstein groove that announce, rather loudly, that school’s out for summer. Blast it from a hotrod for extra points.

Live Report: Cannibal Corpse, 1349, and More at the Crazy Donkey, Farmingdale, NY April 25

General smell of the room before Corpse: Beer-sweat, kielbasa, and cheap plastic.

Live Report: The Black Dahlia Murder, Obscura, and More at Santos Party House, New York, March 20

“The Black Dahlia Murder (left) is everywhere: They just chill in the crowd and outside, talking to fans and watching the music. That’s pretty old-school. Young Metallica would do that.

Young Metallica: That’s right, I said it.”

Final Six: The Six Most Metal Non-Metal Albumsl/Least Metal Metal Albums

1) Meat Loaf, Bat out of Hell Besides having the most metal cover art ever, Bat out of Hell is a record that takes the somewhat nonsensical parts of metal and melds them together throughout every single song, including the sack-less ballad “Heaven Can Wait.” Still the only record which can make me play air-piano.

Live Report: Shrinebuilder and Wolves in the Throne Room at NYU, New York, March 11

Words to get used to if you want to be a metal journalist: “You’re not on the list.”

Check under Revolver: “Yeah, we get it. You’re not on here.”

Number of editors contacted: Two.

LIVE REPORT: KREATOR, VOIVOD, AND MORE AT THE NOKIA THEATRE, NEW YORK, MARCH 6

“Point of merch knowledge to be remembered: You could get a thrash-hungry metalhead to buy a lump of dog shit if it had the cover of Kreator’s Endless Pain ironed onto it.”