When the four-day Maryland Deathfest kicks off in Baltimore this Thursday, May 26, metalheads will have an overwhelming number of bands to check out.

To help point you in the right direction, we asked Brooklyn heavy metal die-hards Tooth and Weibs—members of the band Natur and hosts of East Village Radio‘s Metal Inquisition Radio Show—to compile the five bands that should not be missed by attendees. Here’s what they had to say:

“Maryland Deathfest is one of the sickest things that has ever happened on American soil. Our friend Sean Bell from Rhode Island had been boasting about it for a few years but we could never pull it together enough to go. Then in 2009, Norwegian black thrashers Aura Noir were confirmed to play their first ever American show, alongside bands like Abscess, Absu, Bolt Thrower, Deströyer 666 and a shitload of other not-to-miss bands. This put the nail in the fucking coffin for us and we immediately purchased our tickets and booked the hotel.

When the day finally came to make the trip down to Baltimore from New York City, we didn’t know what to expect. However, when we arrived, it was very clear: tons of vendors carrying our favorite obscure bands’ merch, endless amounts of beer, new bros everywhere and heavy fucking metal! The festival has gotten better with every year and this year promises to be one of, if not, the sickest line-ups of bands to hit U.S. shores. Here are some of the bands we are most looking forward to seeing.”

IN SOLITUDE
“This band is absolutely unreal and their self-titled debut album has been on constant rotation since it was purchased. This is serious, blazing heavy metal that has unearthly guitars and lyrics that you will have stuck in your head after the first listen. MetalKult just streamed their newest record, The World. The Flesh. The Devil, and it does not disappoint. These Swedes are not to be missed!”

NUNSLAUGHTER
“What can you even say about these maniacs? They’re one of the most fun bands you’ll ever see. They can also be summed up in two words: Jim Sadist.”

GHOST
“We had the chance to play with these ghouls at the Live Evil Festival in London last October, which was also their second show ever . Nobody knew what to expect. When Papa Emeritus walked onto the stage, we were pretty sure everyone shit themselves. They put on one Hell of a show. Haters can hate all they want but this band will make the hair stick up on your neck. For this we’ll burn in Hell.”

AURA NOIR
“After seeing them in 2009 at Maryland Deathfest and having our heads torn off our necks, we seriously can’t wait to see what they have for us this time around. Kristian Valbo from the mighty Kolboltn, Norway-based death metal band Obliteration will be on drums and if there’s anyone to compare to the psycho abilities of Aggressor, it is Kristian. Speaking of Aggressor, will he be making it this year? He kicked everyone’s ass during the Inferno Fest in Oslo, Norway a few weeks back. Only time will tell.”

REPUGNANT
“We cannot wait to see this band! If anyone reading this hasn’t heard Epitome of Darkness yet, please, go buy it, download it or ask someone to make you a tape of it. This is the scariest recording we’ve ever had possession of. ‘Voices of the dead, chanting inside your head.’ Fuck.”

In addition to showing off your wild side, tattoos are milestones, visual souvenirs that tell the story of your life. That said, ink-slingers extraordinaire Paul Booth and Kat Von D (pictured left at the Revolver Golden Gods) say there are certain tattoos to steer clear of, or you might regret getting them. Check out their thoughts below—and don't blame us if you've sinned on your skin. For more from Booth and Von D—as well as heavily skin-art adorned musicians from Kerry King to Tommy Lee—pick up Revolver's "Tattoo Issue," on stands now. And don't forget to enter Revolver's Tattoo Contest here.

01 PORTRAITS OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND
PAUL BOOTH I’m Mr. Doom and Gloom. Everyone breaks up. The only things that are forever are your kids and your parents. It’s jinx as far as I’m concerned.

02 THE DATE YOU WENT SOBER
KAT VON D If you relapse, it’s just gonna end up being a date that you got a tattoo.

03 BAND LOGOS
BOOTH I don’t necessarily see it as a bad thing. But when it’s a 16-year-old kid getting a trendy band logo tattooed on ‘em, chances are in another 10 years it’s gonna get covered up. I say that because I’m an old-timer that covers all that shit up.

04 YOUR CAR
VON D It’s probably not wise to get a portrait of your 1998 Toyota Tercel. It looks really cool in ’98, but by the time it turns 2010 it’s just not gonna be as cutting edge.

05 SOMETHING DEROGATORY TOWARDS YOUR PARENTS
BOOTH I remember this kid who came to me, he wanted a Robert Crumb-style upside-down heart that looked like a pair of butt cheeks. So I added some Robert legs squatting, and the banner became a roll of toilet paper with the word “MOM” spelled out in turds across it. Maybe you shouldn’t do that.

Revolver Editor in Chief Brandon Geist, Mistress Juliya, and tattoo's "Master of the Macabre," Paul Booth at Revolver's "Tattoo Issue" release party

Booth photo by Sarah Sturges. Kat Von D by Justin Borucki.

Crusty thrashers Bison B.C.’s latest album, Dark Ages (Metal Blade), is so chock-full of memorable guitar work, we figured these guys must be authorities on great riffs. Turns out we were right. Below is vocalist-guitarist Dan And’s picks for the Five Best Riffs of All-Time and his thoughts about each one.

1. BLACK SABBATH, “Hole in the Sky,” from Sabotage, 1975
Trying to pick just one Sabbath riff as a favorite is tough because they wrote every good riff ever…even “Zero The Hero” has a killer riff. There are the obvious choices of “Paranoi,” “Iron Man,” “Children of the Grave” or the song “Black Sabbath,” which started it all, but this one opens my fav Sabbath record so it’s always stuck out for me. It might be the fact that it doesn’t start right away and you can actually hear Iommi turn up the volume on his guitar, put his hand over the strings to mute them then…BLAAADOWWWW! Get yer “G-word” on!

2. THIN LIZZY, “Chinatown,” Chinatown, 1980
The perfect song…I don’t know how else to describe it. Thin Lizzy were masters of the riff like no other. Each song a perfect tactical aural assault of endless guitarmonies and good times but this one captures the flag for me. Scott Gorham was the perfect Colonel for General Lynott's riff army. Whether he was battling beside Gary Moore, Snowy White, or Brian Robertson you can tell that he was the one leading the charge.

3. BLACK FLAG, “Loose Nut,” Loose Nut, 1985
A riff that manages to not only sound as sleazy and sloppy as the lyrics to the song but also manages to completely segregate the band from their raging punk output. That polarization started with the sludge fest that is the second half of ’84’s My War and of course ’85’s Slip It In is pretty much as sleazy as you can get, but it’s still filled with classic Black Flag sounding punk riffs. Loose Nut just changed it all. The whole album’s a mid-tempo face fuck to whatever poor kid would happen to be standing in the front row. It sounds like Nikki Sixx writing a Black Sabbath record. Grow yer hair and grind the air!

4. BUDGIE, “Napoleon Bona-Part 2,” Bandolier, 1975
It takes exactly 2:38 minutes to get through the whimsical, dream-like “Napoleon Bona-Part 1,” but once “Part 2” kicks in, look the fuck out! Yer welcome, Iron Maiden. Take this hammer to the back of the head, Metallica, and don’t fuck it up. Whoops, shit the bed there, buds! Budgie galloped like no other ever has or will…they did it best, hands down. There would be no N.W.O.B.H.M. or Bay Area thrash without Budgie, period. Unfortunately that also means we have them to thank for Dave Mustaine and the current influx of horrible, barely post-teen thrash-revival bands. Good job, Welshers!

5. (tie) MELVINS, “Revolve,” Stoner Witch, 1994 / HIS HERO IS GONE, “Like Weeds,” Monuments to Thieves, 1997
There are millions of awesome classic rock and blues riffs I would throw on this list, but in terms of influence on my playing, these two are huge. It’s hard to even break them down into “riffs” because they are both an endless barrage of awesome riff after awesome riff. I never thought I would ever talk about a crust song even having a “riff” but this His Hero Is Gone one has been stuck in my head for 15 years. Basically every single song I have ever written in one form or another at first was an attempt to create the perfect mix of these two songs. Sleazy/sludgey pop metal mixed with doom and gloom crust punk. Give me 10 more years and I bet you anything I’ll even be a 275-pound dude with an afro wearing a scotchguarded mudflap covered in spikes. UGH!

Honorable Mentions (because six riffs are never enough):

Van Halen, “I’m the One”
Rush – “Spirit of Radio”/“Limelight”
Captain Beyond, everything
Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”
Phil Collins, “Easy Lover”
Heart, everything
Kansas, “Carry On My Wayward Son”
April Wine, “Weeping Willow”
Replacements, “Bastards of Young”
Soundgarden, everything

Bison B.C. pic by Alex Divincenzo

Sitting In: A bar called the Library in Tempe, AZ with Shane and Dennis
Listening To: “I Like It Rough” by Lady Gaga
Time of Day: 6:00 p.m. MST
Day of Tour: 25
Time Left Until I Play: 3 hours and 40 minutes

Recently, I blogged about the Top Five most embarrassing moments that I have ever experienced onstage and I started thinking. Well, more accurately it made me realize something: I love countdowns.

When I was growing up I was obsessed with music (big surprise, I know). Every January I would create a list of the Top 50 Songs of the Year, Top 10 Albums of the Year, and Top 5 Artists of the Year, according to me—just for fun. Have you ever watched VH1 or the Entertainment Network and had the pleasure of viewing those addicting shows where they countdown the best videos of all time, the worst-dressed celebrities, most surprising cameos of all time, best hair, worst shoes? The list goes on and on. No matter where I am or what I am doing, or the subject matter of the countdown for that matter, I simply cannot change the channel when those things are on the screen. To make matters worse, I do not think I have ever been happy with the revelation of the No. 1 *insert topic here* of “all time”. It makes me wonder why I subject myself to these countdowns if in the end I am only going to be disappointed. Is it the anticipation? Is it the clever way all of the shots are edited? Is it the cheesy attempts at humor that nearly every narrator pours like syrup on pancakes? I guess it could be any, or all, of these things. Or maybe I am just addicted to countdowns. Regardless of the reason, I love it.

That being said, I am now going to reveal to you my “Top 10 ‘In Case You Give A Crap’ Countdown of Things That I Truly Give a Crap About.” To make it more fun, I have also included my Top 5 in each of the 10 categories. I am a nerd. Enjoy.

number ten – Gas Station Treats

5. Slim Jim’s
4. Doritos (original)
3. Arizona Red Apple Iced Tea
2. Andy Capp Hot and/or Cheddar Fries
1. Powdered Mini Donuts

number nine – Things I Ask for on Our Rider Each Show

5. Odwalla Bars (especially strawberry pomegranate)
4. Lunch Meat with Wheat Bread and Mayonnaise
3. Naked Juice (especially green machine)
2. Emergen-Cs
1. Gatorade

number eight – Venues in America

5. State Theatre, St. Petersburg, FL
4. The Rave, Milwaukee, WI
3. El Rey Theatre, Los Angeles, CA
2. The Metro, Chicago, IL
1. Soma, San Diego, CA

number seven – Coolest Cities in the World

5. Saint Croix
4. Sydney
3. Tokyo
2. Chicago
1. Philadelphia

number six - Favorite Foods

5. Macaroni and Cheese
4. Hot Dogs
3. Sushi
2. Homemade Grilled Cheese w/ Tomato Basil Soup
1. Indian

number five – TV Shows (non-animated / animated)

5. It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia / Looney Tunes
4. How I Met Your Mother / Home Movies
3. Curb Your Enthusiasm / Aqua Teen Hunger Force
2. Entourage / Family Guy
1. Arrested Development / The Simpsons

number four - Actors and Actresses

5. Robert De Niro
4. Johnny Depp
3. Kate Winslet
2. Josh Hartnett
1. Leonardo DiCaprio

number three – Albums of All Time

5. Save the World, Lose the Girl, Midtown
4. The Always Open Mouth, Fear Before the March of Flames
3. Colors, Between the Buried and Me
2. Something To Write Home About, the Get-Up Kids
1. The Everglow, Mae

number two – Bands of All Time

5. Thrice
4. Spitalfield
3. Oasis
2. Mae
1. The Beatles

number one – Movies

5. Lucky Number Slevin
4. Wicker Park
3. The Count Of Monte Cristo
2. The Shawshank Redemption
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So there you have it. Hopefully this Countdown of Countdowns provided you with a small window into the things that make me tick. After all, it is the little things in life that make each day special. It is actually a bit surprising how therapeutic an exercise like this can be. So much of our lives are spent going to work, sitting in class, doing chores, walking the dog, sleeping. We tend to not focus on the little things that make us smile without even realizing it. Here is what I want you to do, people. Select one of the categories in my Top 10 countdowns and send me your Top 5 in that category. Leave your response in the form of a comment right here on Revolvermag.com. Do not be shy, there are no wrong answers here. Just have fun with it and let your imagination run wild. Oh yeah, and help me pick a Top 5 for next week. I’ll pick the one that sounds like the most fun and reveal my choices in next week’s blog. Until then, loyal readers…snap into a Slim Jim—oh, yeah!