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Live Report: Black Label Society at Hammerstein Ballroom, New York, October 20

Sounds like: A collection of walk-on music for the meanest fucking wrestler in the world.

Where do Black Label Society sit in a movie theater: Wherever the fuck they feel like.

Live Report: Nachtmystium at the Knitting Factory, New York, September 19

General state of the crowd at the Knitting Factory: Hairy.

Live Report: Gwar, Dirge WIthin, and Mobile Deathcamp at the Starland Ballroom, NJ, June 18

Chris Krovatin is the author of the young-adult novels Heavy Metal & You and Venomous, as well as's “Final Six” blog. The latter book was the inspiration for Deadlocke, a one-shot published by Dark Horse Comics. He is also the vocalist New York sludge-metal band Flaming Tusk. Feel free to follow him on Twitter (@bloodinmystool), but honestly, it’s mostly just dick and weed jokes.

On Sunday, I went to the Gwar (left), who played with Dirge Within and Mobile Deathcamp. I brought my girlfriend with me. Here’s what happened:

Live Report: Cannibal Corpse, 1349, and More at the Crazy Donkey, Farmingdale, NY April 25

General smell of the room before Corpse: Beer-sweat, kielbasa, and cheap plastic.

Live Report: The Black Dahlia Murder, Obscura, and More at Santos Party House, New York, March 20

The Black Dahlia Murder (left) is everywhere: They just chill in the crowd and outside, talking to fans and watching the music. That’s pretty old-school. Young Metallica would do that.

Young Metallica: That’s right, I said it.”

Live Report: Shrinebuilder and Wolves in the Throne Room at NYU, New York, March 11

Words to get used to if you want to be a metal journalist: “You’re not on the list.”

Check under Revolver: “Yeah, we get it. You’re not on here.”

Number of editors contacted: Two.