Guest Blog: Alexisonfire Singer George Pettit says "Chew on This One" at KFC
America, land of the free. Well, the other day I experienced something in this wild and free country that serves as an example of the truest form of liberty. I ate a KFC Double Down. For those of you who don’t know what that is, the Double Down consists of two slices of bacon, melty pepper jack cheese, and some sort of unidentifiable red sauce all nestled between two pieces of fried chicken. It’s the shining apex of our societies glutany and depravity. Not even ancient Greece, in the height of hedonism, would have dreamt that this marvel of sheer decadence could exist.
Post consumption I was faced with one major pressing question: Is there such a thing as being too free? Are we flaunting our free will so grotesquely that we can’t help but offend some unknown god? Are we flying too close to the sun on wings of wax, leading to our inevitable tumble back to earth and a state of totalitarian fascism? Perhaps it was something like the KFC Double Down that reduced Rome to rubble. Perhaps the heathens ran through the streets of Sodom and Gomorrah, with a Double Down in each hand. Have we gone too far? Is it too late to go back?
God, I'm not even a week into this tour and I've already lost my fucking mind.