Gwar were nominated for the Best Live Band award at the recent 2011 Revolver Golden Gods, and frontman Oderus Urungus promised sex to fans in exchange for their votes. Unfortunately for Gwar, they lost to German pyromaniacs Rammstein (as the vocalist said afterwards, "At least we didn't lose to Avenged Sevendust"); and probably fortunately for fans, Urungus isn't really delivering on his promise—because as you can see from Gwar's list of pre-coital warnings below, neither he nor his bandmates are particularly sensitive lovers.
The Five Things You Should Know Before Having Sex with a Power-Hungry Space Alien:
1. It's not rape if it's dead.
2. That alarming smell is your flaming genitals.
3. Your mom loved it.
4. I make my own hole.
5. This is where babies come from.